Okay, so that happened. What the hell kind of mess was this midseason finale of Supernatural? I have no idea what the writers were trying to do here, but barring a few fun moments, LOTUS belly-flopped. HARD. It’s funny this episode is named LOTUS, since in Greek mythology the lotus eaters are overcome with a sleepiness and forgetfulness. Hopefully the blissful forgetfulness will come shortly for us viewers. Let’s get to it, then…
Honestly, I’m not sure how I’m going to go about this recap. The pacing of the episode was so off and my reactions were a range of “What the fuck?!” to “Well THAT is certainly convenient!” This season, and the past few episodes in particular strongly imply that the writers and producers don’t seem to know their audience very well. Supernatural has one of the most devoted, knowledgeable fanbases out there. We remember shit from season one. We understand character arcs and parallels, we do not need this shit explained to and oversimplified for us ad nauseum Every. Single. Episode.
Well, Lucifer is vessel-hopping (apparently no one explodes when angels possess humans who are not meant to be their true vessels anymore), with each vessel being a more prominent and powerful person than the last, until he winds up in the President. It used to take Lucifer the better part of an episode to convince a vessel to let him in, and now he seems to have whittled his pitch down to under a minute, so at least he’s grown as a salesman. Okay. The gang, plus Rowena now, are hot on his trail and frankly, I’m surprised that Crowley doesn’t seem to know more people in government. Just sayin’.
While the boys are on Lucifer’s tail, Lucifer as President Jeff (no I’m not kidding) is getting some tail of his own and banging a staffer. Sure, his hand burns on Bibles and he has to pray occasionally, but small price to pay to be the most powerful man in the world. Not to mention the protection from the “crazy cult members who are attempting to assassinate him.”
While the boys are coming up with a whole alphabet soup of plans to get to Lucifer, Crowley goes to picks up his mum, stumbling into the opportunity for the Crowliest bonding moment to ever Crowley. Nothing says “sorry I missed the last 200 Mother’s Days” like squeezing like a grape the head of the lover who’s jilting your mom . Meanwhile, Satan is still banging his staffer. And knocking her up, giving Cas a case of the shakes and overexplaining-itis.
This is literally all you needed to say, guys. We know what a nephilim is!
On their way to LOTUS’s house, Team Free Will gets pinched by the Secret Service. Things aren’t going well for the boys: their aliases don’t work, and they fight. This is a great scene in an episode that otherwise just a mess of pacing and plot issues. Mainly, this scene works because Cas gives pretty much zero fucks the whole time. Go ahead, point a gun at him, launch grenades, Cas has shit to do and no time for this. Also, Ketch (who comes to the rescue thanks to that dial-and-hang-up that Sam did earlier) is hot.
Hot, yes. But kind of a dick. Ya know, like most assassins. But he says Bing Bang Boom Bob’s your uncle. But still a dick. But he has a grenade launcher. But he likes smooth jazz. But he has fun toys, like Q. I’m very conflicted about Ketch. Anyway. He tells them that the British Men of Letters have an angel trap (like the Ghostbusters, but celestial), and pretty much all of the suffering and hell they went through from season five on becomes pointless since, if they’d just checked their rolodex for British Men of Letters: Angel Entrapment Division, they could have avoided dying and several versions of accidentally ending the world. Not to mention they wouldn’t have needed to spend half a season saving Cas from Lucifer last year. Great.
So Crowley pops into the compound and snags Kelly (the knocked up staffer) so the team can pitch her their new sitcom The Angel And Witch And King Of Hell Who Fight Crime Together. Well, not really, but they let her know what is up (mainly that The Prez is the Devil and she’s carrying his evil spawn). Cas again has no time for easing her into this (Not like the devil eased it in, ha!) and puts her hand on a Bible to prove her baby is an abomination. Well done.
So they set the trap with Kelly as bait. After secret service sweeps the motel room and clears it (with the help of Cas’s Jedi-like memory swiping them..I guess he has his mojo back?), Lucifer comes in and Sam holds the magic angel repelling egg to chase Lucifer out of the President while Rowena sends him back to Hell. The president survives without so much as a spot of Lucifer-possession-induced decay, which is convenient, but the boys decide to send Cas away and stay with the Commander and Chief, which is not. The Secret Service comes in and arrests them for attempting to assassinate the President while Cas takes Kelly to a diner.
Kelly decides to ditch the angel, though, and to keep her baby, because these are the murky reproductive rights waters into which Supernatural decided to wade. Although… a mother protecting her baby is a formidable foe. So, yay?
So that is where we leave our family until January: Dean and Sam heading to a black site somewhere, I’m sure. Crowley and Rowena who knows where. Cas holding the bag on a loose Nephilim.
Upon a second viewing, I liked this episode a little more, but overall I feel like it was just a really weak showing going into the hiatus. I’m hoping we can come back strong in the New Year and the new time.
BAMF: Us. Congrats SPNFAM! We did it! Pat yourselves on the back and get some eggnog!