Once Upon a Time Recap: Heartless

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Things are not going well for our lovely heroes of Storybrooke. What with the Evil Queen and Mr Gold working together to try to fix their problems by using convoluted magical means. And no “Previously on Once Upon A Time” this time!

  • creepy ghost haunting Snow!
  • Snow is… alone. In the woods.
  • Not alone. Evil Queen?
  • “Sleeping Snow is my favourite Snow”
  • What is her plan?
  • “Follow your conscience” Archie?
  • Zelena doesn’t look overly impressed by the Queen
  • Past Snow is not great at peddling her stuff
  • Mamma Charming wants to sell? Nuuuuuu
  • Angry woodcutter!
  • Snow and Blue versus Man With Axe!
  • Charming and Snow both going to the same place?
  • We don’t even know what the thing is!
  • Whoa! Underworld Water!
  • Why are the Charmings so… UGH
  • PUPPY!!
  • Wow. The Woodcutter is creepy
  • “Danger can look harmless at first”
  • Ah, that’s convenient
  • Regina is so awkward talking about her relationship with Rumple!
  • Sneaky Regina
  • Gold and the Evil Queen is… I don’t like it
  • Zelena, you’re going green
  • You’ll find the sapling… somewhere over the rainbow?
  • Aaaaaand Small David has been drugged
  • So the Woodcutter can use his dog to get Snow
  • So sentimental….
  • Regina did you really need a pickaxe to uncover the trapdoor?
  • Killian is so super adorable
  • “True love can break any curse and so can you because that’s what you’re made of”
  • Run small David! Release Snow!
  • Or… run away
  • of course touching the sapling causes a magical rewind!!
  • Ugh. Damn Evil Queen and her magic
  • Stop whining! You can’t give up your hearts so there’s obviously another way. Probably some true love rubbish
  • WOW those axes are sharp
  • Snow… doesn’t want to be released so she doesn’t hurt Charming
  • She gives her money so that Momma Charming can keep the farm!!
  • Passing over the money grew the Sapling! Of course!
  • Oh Zelena. You’re deliciously wicked
  • Don’t do it!!
  • The Evil Queen is far too happy about this
  • What? What has she does to their hearts?
  • Oh this is going to be bad. I’m excited!!
  • Gold you do not have the right to be pleased to see Belle after your relationship with the Queen
  • She’s got a point, Gold
  • The things you do are selfish. Just selfish
  • So scared of failing he won’t even try
  • “That’s not being evil. That’s just being too weak to be good”
  • WHY DID YOU EXPECT SNOW TO BE IN HER OWN BED!!
  • I’m guessing that whatever the Queen did to their hearts, it’ll stop true love’s kiss from working
  • Or worse?
  • Oh my god it switched the curse over to him! That’s amazing!!
  • Alternating sleeping curses!! How deliciously cruel!

Snow and David seem destined to be separated. Unless they find a way to remove the curse on their heart, they will never be able to be awake at the same time. That’s an amazingly cruel thing to do and I am very impressed by it. Gold is once again going to go running off for revenge instead of dealing with his problems. Which is just… stupid. Stupid Gold!

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