We’re hurtling towards the end days, and yet I still can’t seem to commit to watching an entire week of Neighbours. So here is the round-up of last week’s episodes as far as Thursday.

Byron is Suspicious

Byron has been doing his thing as a saucy sex worker, which seems to mainly involve whipping his top off a lot and pretending to be various characters, including a musketeer-type and a pool boy. There’s so much innuendo it could give the Carry-On films a run for their money. The secondhand embarrassment in my living room while watching these scenes was reaching dangerous levels. I cringed so hard that I nearly gave myself a facial cramp.

Byron loves to get his top off. Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

While he’s with one of his clients, her phone rings, and he hears the caller, and from what they’re saying, it sounds very much like he’s her partner. He also sounds very much like Clive, and later on, when Jane finally introduces Byron to Clive, Byron recognizes his voice.

Meanwhile, Nicolette finds out about Byron’s sex work, and while she’s not judging him, she is enjoying having some secret knowledge that is going to explode his relationship with Jane. He also confides in her about his suspicions about Clive cheating on Jane. He becomes even more convinced of it when she tells him that Clive cheated on Sheila.

I’m loving the antagonistic relationship between these two, but their nicknames for each other have confused me so much. I can’t even decipher what they are, let alone what the cultural reference might be. I am looking forward to them teaming up to expose whatever it is Clive is up to, though, because they both have questionable morals, so that no tactic will be too underhanded for them.

Mackenzie Lashes Out

Mackenzie finally has enough of people telling her how she should be grieving and lashes out at her dad and Toadie. They absolutely deserve it after the way they tried to force her into a very specific way of grieving last week. If we’re all being honest with ourselves, her dad also probably deserves to be told he’s been a terrible father as well. I really feel for Mackenzie at the moment, she only seems to be getting support from the Kennedys and Wendy (bizarrely), and she’s obviously not OK. I suspect she might be heading for some health problems, as she’s clearly not eating very much at the moment.

Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

Amy Decides to go Solo

After dipping her toe into the dating pool, Amy decides that she’s tired of waiting for the right man to come along, and she’s just going to have another baby by herself. Toadie is all for it, to the extent that he says he wants to be a part of the baby’s life and would love to have more kids of his own. Zara already thinks Toadie and Amy are meant to be together, and this just fuels the fire. I don’t know what she’s going to do yet, but she’s going to start meddling. She is plotting, and it is inevitably going to be some sort of ham-fisted matchmaking plot that goes horribly wrong because she’s a teenager who’s demonstrated on several occasions that she has truly terrible judgment. Also, this is Neighbours.

Toadie Pops the Question. Again

Toadie and Melanie are feeling all loved up, so when she accidentally sees a ring box in his bag, she forces his hand, and he proposes to her for a second time. This time she says yes, but not everyone is thrilled about it. It goes down like a cup of cold sick with Amy, and Zara isn’t very impressed either because this puts a more permanent obstacle in the way of her getting her mum and Toadie together.

Harold is Back

I can’t describe how nice it is to see Harold back in Erinsborough, and it’s so comforting to see him. It feels just like putting on a big cozy jumper. He looks exactly the same as he always has done, and he’s still a big old softie. I think he might end up being the support Mackenzie desperately needs, and he couldn’t be more perfect for that job. He’s just so kind.

Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

Having said that, he’s less than kind about Melanie at the moment. She was married to his son-in-law Joe after Harold’s daughter Kerry died, so I guess he has enough experience with Melanie to make a judgment on whether or not her marrying Toadie is a good idea. Like a shark smelling blood, Zara instantly sniffs out Harold’s misgivings and decides that the two of them need to work as a team to make her dream of getting Toadie and Amy together come true. They make quite an unlikely duo, but I can’t wait to see them become besties. Who wouldn’t want to be besties with Harold?!