Last week in Erinsborough was intense, so this week everyone has mostly been focused on processing it all, including us. I hadn’t seen Friday’s episode when I did my round-up last week, so I’m going to cover it in this week’s, because it was all too good for me not to talk about it.

Freya is an Exceptionally Convincing Crier

It might be weird that in the action-packed drama-fest that was the disastrous trip to the bush, my main takeaway is that Phoebe Roberts, who plays Freya, is one of the best cry-actors I’ve ever seen. She was so convincing.

Anyway, that aside, the world’s most awkward trip to the bush turns into one of the most dramatic ones, as Freya’s ex Gareth turns up and immediately gets incredibly busy. He shoots Levi, kidnaps Freya, batters Aaron with a wrench and then takes a swift trip through the windscreen of the minibus, which I think definitely counts as a very busy morning. I think it bears mentioning that despite being shot, Levi seems to get a bit of a second wind and goes off in a kayak at a truly hilarious speed. It could only have been better if they’d sped the film up like in an old Bond movie.

Gareth is having a hectic morning. Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

David Does a Bad Thing

Meanwhile, the weird budget hostel everyone was bizarrely very excited to be staying in is near enough to Ramsay Street for Amy and David to hop in the car to go and visit Ned and Aaron. Amy wants to tell Ned that she wants to get back together and David is going to tell Aaron about his strange encounter with Creepy Dean. On the way there, they come across Aaron lying by the side of the road, and no sooner have they picked him up, they happen upon the crashed minibus. David gets out to help Gareth, but Freya very pointedly tells him in graphic detail about how it was Gareth who attacked Aaron. David makes a snap decision and doesn’t help him, sitting back and watching Gareth die. I did not see this coming at all – sweet little David letting someone die right in front of him! This is going to make for some very intense soul-searching and guilt in the weeks to come.

Glen Carries on a Robinson Family Tradition

It seems that the Robinson apple didn’t fall very far from the tree, as it is revealed (for anyone who hadn’t guessed already) that Glen has a secret grown-up child in the form of Kiri from the disappointing hostel. Paul is obviously the trailblazer when it comes to surprise children, but Paul and Glen’s dad Jim paved the way back in the day by having Glen, so it’s only right that he carries on the tradition. After behaving weirdly around Kiri for the entire holiday but not saying anything to her about being her dad, Glen spills the beans to Terese when he gets home, and then – surprise! Kiri rocks up on the doorstep.

By far the most interesting bit of this storyline is Nicolette’s role in it, because she’s unwittingly carrying on another Neighbours tradition by accidentally dating someone she’s almost related to. Kiri is her baby’s father’s half-uncle’s daughter, so of course she’s attracted to her. It’s the Erinsborough way.

Ned Doesn’t Know Which Way is Up

Talking of people getting involved with people they’re almost related to, it’s time to talk about Ned and Harlow. I’m sorry, I don’t want to either, but we must. They get lost in the bush looking for Levi and Freya, because Ned loses the map (of course he does). So while everyone is worrying themselves to death about where Business Barbie and the village idiot are, they’re just frolicking in a waterfall in their undies. On that subject, if I ever get lost in the bush and go for an impromptu swim in my undercrackers, there is not a hope in hell of me happening to be in a stylish matching set. I’d most likely be in some sort of exhausted, saggy bra and a pair of Baby Yoda pants, so props to Harlow for having a strong underwear game. Anyway, they have sex on a rock, which didn’t look like a comfortable spot at all, and then awkwardly Amy is the one to finally find them.

After they get home, Ned is confused. I mean, he’s always generally confused, but he’s particularly confused about whether he wants to be with Amy or Harlow. He plumps for Amy, despite not really knowing what it is he wants, and Harlow immediately gets jealous. I’m not Amy’s biggest fan, but Harlow and Ned is a big no from me. She only just left school and up until now they’ve had a brother/sister kind of relationship. I just find it icky. It’s a hard pass from me.

Ewww. Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

Creepy Dean Gets Even More Creepy

As if David hasn’t got enough to worry about, Creepy Dean gets even more weird this week as he tries to sabotage David’s marriage by telling Aaron that something happened between them. He’s got into his head that David is scared of Aaron, and secretly wants to be with Dean instead. David complains to Clive about it, and Creepy Dean is disciplined, but this is not the last we’ve seen of Creepy Dean and his even creepier moustache – they will be back.

Roxy May Have a Bun in the Oven

There’s not a huge amount to report about this storyline, other than Roxy and Kyle go ahead with their insemination appointment, and then Roxy is walking around like she’s trying to hold an acorn between her knees for the rest of the day. I only include it in this round-up because it provides the two biggest laughs of the week, one when Kyle asks for Hendrix’s help with putting together a surprise for Roxy, and Hendrix replies in a bit of a panic, “My help? Making a baby?” The other laugh is the immortal line, “If you put off having a baby every time Levi’s in danger, you might never have one,” which I have been laughing about all week. There really is never a good time to have a baby in Ramsay Street…