It’s another one of those weeks where I’ve only watched as far as Thursday, but there’s been a whole heap of Unmissable Drama™ on Ramsay Street, so I’m not going to be short of things to talk about. Neighbours have been teasing the big wedding/disaster (is there any other kind of wedding in Erinsborough?) for ages, and it all came to a head this week.

Be aware, my lovely Aussie friends, this is a UK pace round-up.

Roxy and Kyle Forever

Despite almost being called off, Roxy and Kyle’s wedding ends up going ahead, and everything seems to be going swimmingly at first. From Sheila walking down the aisle with Gary, the pigeon on a cushion, to Susan telling Roxy, “You may kiss the groom,” the whole ceremony was very true to who Roxy and Kyle are. My personal favourite moment, of course, is when Karl is about to start singing, and Mick unceremoniously pulls the plug on him. Later, when Karl confronts Mick, outraged about him “pulling another man’s plug,” Karl looks for back-up from Susan, who fully disassociates and stares into the distance in silence. Absolutely hilarious.

Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy


Meanwhile, Sharon is making a bit of a show of herself after sleeping with Glen, referring to them as a couple and feeding him cake at the wedding reception like an overbearing, bogan mother bird. This obviously goes down like a cup of cold sick with Terese.

Does anyone else remember Roxy telling Harlow not to come to the wedding, or did I dream that? In true Harlow style, she turns up at a wedding she’s either not invited to or at the very least not welcome at and then is hacked off when Roxy, Mackenzie, and Hendrix don’t ask her to dance with them. They don’t like you, Harlow. You’re not very nice. Nobody likes you.

Let’s All Hide From the Wind in a Glorified Garden Shed

It’s been windy for the whole day – with Jane even commenting that the wind is so strong it almost brought her perm back – and it gets stronger as the day goes on. As it reaches gale force, the lights suddenly go out at the wedding reception, and everyone heads outside. They’re now faced with the decision of where to shelter from the wind where they can carry on the wedding celebrations. Where do they choose? The Waterhole? Harold’s? Someone’s house? Another actual building? No, they choose the Flamingo Bar, which is essentially a large, tropical-themed garden shed. Honestly, they may as well have gone to the coffee shack by the side of the lake.

Leo and Britney have been making eyes at each other, and they finally kiss after Nicolette blabs to Leo that Britney has feelings for him. Then, as Terese totters around the complex inexplicably, trying to hold phone conversations in the wind that sounds like a jet engine, she sees Glen and Sharon sneaking around together (wink, wink). Flustered, she dithers about what to do about Roxy’s wedding party, but then she looks up just in time to see an electricity pole fall through the roof of the Flamingo Bar.

Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

The Aftermath

We pick up at the funeral, where everyone has one faded facial bruise, and it becomes apparent fairly quickly that the death Neighbours has been teasing for weeks isn’t one of the main characters. Instead, it’s a blow-in who’s been around for about five minutes and who nobody really cares about. Is that harsh? Sorry, Britney, but you didn’t leave very much of an impression on me, other than being the mother of the baby that Nicolette sold to Paul. Leo is doing some pretty good angry crying, though, so at least he’s got something to do now, other than drink wine and roll his eyes at Paul.

Immediate Britney Replacement

A gutsy woman in a leather jacket turns up and starts snooping around the accident site and giving sass to Levi. I’ll be honest, for a second, I thought Britney was back. The two of them are definitely cut out of the same mould. Is she related to Britney? Or is she just a generic attractive brunette? I haven’t figured it out yet. I have a feeling that she’s going to be a new love interest for Levi. I won’t get too attached. The last outsider they brought in to date Levi lasted about as long as a piece of cake does when placed in front of me. She had all the hallmarks of a regular, including having defected from the other Aussie soap, but then she just disappeared. Is Sassy Leather Jacket going to last a bit longer? We’ll see.

Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

Terese Moves in With Paul

Terese does an about-turn and goes from hating Paul’s guts and batting her eyes at Glen to turning up uninvited at the penthouse with her suitcases. There’s nothing like a near-death experience to make forgiving your manipulative, evil husband that much easier, eh? Not only are we treated to a hitherto unseen view of the penthouse bedroom, but we also get a glorious Terese meltdown when Glen confesses that he is the one who had her wedding ring all along. Terese gives him both barrels, as does Paul, and one can’t help but think that hatred of Glen is going to unite Paul and Terese again. Don’t do it, Terese!

WHERE’S MICK?!

I need to know if Mick survived the Flamingo Disaster. Nobody has mentioned him, and he hasn’t been seen since, so I’m concerned for his well-being. WHERE IS MY CHAOTIC KING?!?!