Sitting down to write this, having just watched Friday’s episode, I was drawing a blank for a second about what to write, because I honestly couldn’t remember any other storyline apart from the disaster that is the Brennan/Tanaka household. Looking back though, I realise that quite a lot happened, it’s just that this week has been so long that it felt like all these things happened about a month ago. Since the pandemic, time means nothing any more. Anyway, I’ll stop rambling.

Brent is Back (Briefly)

Once I managed to cast my mind back, I remembered that Brent returned, still sporting that terrible haircut. He’s back on leave to surprise Harlow, only it’s Brent who’s in for the surprise when he sees how much Harlow’s changed since he’s been gone. Harlow has been scheming all week to try to force Terese and Paul to spend time with each other because she’s determined for them to get back together. Brent warns her to stop being so devious about it, and a few red flags get hoisted when Harlow whines about Chloe and admits that she tried to sabotage her. Brent is doing major side-eye at her at this point.

Harlow Takes Sides

Harlow tells Terese that she’s invited Paul for dinner, when in actual fact the whole thing is Paul’s idea, and Brent blabs to Terese that Harlow lied. Terese is furious and , as payback, she tells Harlow and Brent that Paul tried to pay someone to lie in order to get Brent locked up. Brent is horrified when Harlow defends Paul. She later tells him that she did it because she doesn’t want Terese to see what an A-grade garbage bag Paul actually is (I’m paraphrasing), but quite honestly that ship has hoisted its sails and is halfway across the Pacific by now. Despite Harlow’s protests, the damage has been done though, and Brent calls time on their relationship because he doesn’t want to date a mini-villain-in-training. I can’t say I blame him. Harlow is vile now, but she’s so much more interesting than she used to be.

Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

More Baby Mama Drama

I feel like every week my thoughts on what’s going on at the Brennan/Tanaka house boils down to, “what were they expecting?” This week I’m saying it because Aaron and David decide they want to draw up a parenting agreement with Nicolette, and everything is going swimmingly until they bring up the issue of being Isla’s primary carers. Nicolette flies off the handle and says that is off the table, and to be fair to her, I think she’s made it pretty clear since she came back that she’s not going to give up her baby. Nicolette offers them a 50/50 split when it comes to parenting, but that’s not enough for Aaron and David. David is Isla’s biological father and Nicolette is her mother, so a 50/50 split seems perfectly logical and fair to me. I know she originally agreed to give up the baby, but come on, they entered into a ramshackle parenting agreement with someone they barely knew, and who already had a reputation for being untrustworthy and emotionally volatile – what were they expecting?

David starts going all Paul Robinson on Nicolette and threatens to take her to court over the parenting of Isla, reminding her that her past actions and criminal record would probably be more than enough to tip the judgement in their favour. He also implies that they would accuse her of trying to take them for a ride financially, which he says would be quite hard to refute since she’s not working, and she’s living in their house without really contributing much in the way of cash. Honestly, every time this situation takes a turn, I think that it can’t really get any messier, but they just keep on surprising me.

Amy and Levi Both Need to Sort Themselves Out

After Levi met Felicity last week and expressed a wish to date other people, Amy lost the plot a bit. They’ve both been doing my head in a bit this week, because Levi has been acting like a toddler who asked for an ice cream and didn’t get one, and Amy has been acting like a child who doesn’t want to share their toys with anyone. Yes, Levi should have had this conversation with Amy before he went on a sort-of date with Felicity, but Amy flatly refusing to even consider Levi dating other people seems a little bit hypocritical given the situation they’re in. Finally, she seems to have calmed down, and her and Levi have an actual grown-up conversation about how their relationship is going to work in the future. For once, Amy seems to be acting maturely, except she immediately reverts back to classic Amy when she sees a text message from Felicity come up on Levi’s phone. She does no more than fling his phone into the lake and pretend it was an accident. Levi is remarkably relaxed about the fact that his phone is now sitting underwater, no doubt amongst a load of sludge, numerous engagement rings and several hundred Right Prescription CDs. If it was me, I think I’d have thrown Amy in after it.

Along for the ride during all of this has been dear, sweet Ned. He’s too dumb and too pretty for all this hassle, and he’s been nearing the end of his tether recently. Hopefully Amy and Levi can get their act together next week so Ned doesn’t have to look so exasperated all the time.

Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

Kyle Has a Secret

After Hendrix’s near miss at the testicular cancer testing booth, it seemed like a bit of a pointless plot point that was hyped up for days and then amounted to nothing, but I have a feeling that the booth prop is about to earn its keep. Kyle has been acting a bit distant and moody, and he suddenly announces that he’s going back to Frankston for a few days, then Roxy catches him speaking to his ex-wife Georgia. We never actually find out what’s wrong, so this is pure speculation, but all the clues are pointing towards a cancer diagnosis involving the old gentleman’s agreements. Kyle reacts strangely when Roxy says she wants six kids, and after Kyle reveals to her what’s going on, she gets tearful when she’s holding baby Isla. Add to that the fact that Georgia is a cancer survivor, and I have added two and two and come up with testicular cancer. Not that I wish any ill on Kyle, because he’s a pure idiot with the soul of a golden Labrador, but it’s about time he had a nice meaty storyline that isn’t just being frustrated with Sheila. I hope we find out next week if I’m right or not.