Airing on a special night, as a one hour special, I already figured the winter finale of Brooklyn Nine-Nine would be a big, fun episode. But I was NOT expecting THAT ending!
The episode started off with a bang–a bus crash led to the escape of nine convicts into the streets of Brooklyn, and seemingly, only retired football player Marshawn Lynch saw it happen.
This manhunt falls into the 99′s hands, and Holt sends two teams: Jake/Terry and Amy/Charles out to arrest the escapees. Like old times, Jake and Amy turn it into a bet: whoever catches the most men gets to keep their apartment, and the loser moves in. Of course, right off the bat I’m rooting for Amy. I can only imagine how disgusting Jake Peralta’s apartment is…and that’s before he started gloating about his one gray towel.
While the manhunt begins on the streets, the rest of the detectives remain in the precinct to interview witnesses and take phone tips. Rosa and Holt talk to Marshawn Lynch, who contradicts his tough, quiet football persona. The man went on for an hour talking about everything from quesadillas (he pronounces the Ls) to snow. It was a hilarious scene, but not helpful in any way to Rosa or Holt, because he didn’t actually witness the crime. Luckily a woman who doesn’t speak any English (we actually never figured out what language she speaks) and a crazy man who think human-lizards live in the sewers, helped the detectives figure out that the last convict–a triple-murderer–escaped into the sewer.
Back on the streets, Jake and Amy have acquired any and all resources at their disposal (including tactical equipment and a homeland security bus) to help them catch the fugitives. After the 8th arrest, Jake and Amy had the best conversation I’ve ever heard in my life, and it has nothing to do with the actual plot of the episode but I have to talk about it. Jake started reading Harry Potter and was really psyched to tell Amy all about it. He even called in sick earlier in the week to read all day. I squealed for about 30 seconds. Moving on, with the score 4-4, whoever catches the next man wins. They both learn that the last man is in the sewer and happen upon him at the same time! While saying the Miranda rights in sync, Jake gives up, because he loves Amy and wants her to be happy. He decides to move in with her. Their relationship is very much written into the background of this show, which is why it works so well for them to stay together, but we’ve really seen them develop into an amazing couple over the last year and a half.
Surprise! The last fugitive was actually the bus driver! He was threatened to crash the bus and switch clothes with the murderer, which means the bad guy–the REALLY bad guy is still on the loose! Not only has this man murdered at least three people, but he also stole money from his foster family and burned their house down when he was a kid! And guess who his foster brother is?? Doug Judy, the Pontiac bandit! Yes! Craig Robinson returns!
Jake promised Doug full immunity if he successfully helped the 99 track down his dangerous brother, so Doug happily partnered up with Jake on the case. And they wrote some pretty hilarious cop songs. Like seriously, I’m pretty sure even Craig and Andy were having a hard time holding it together while singing these. While Jake fully placed his trust in Doug (you know, because they’re besties), Holt was weary of trusting a man with over 600 felonies. Understandably. So he joined them on the case as well.
Originally, the trio thought George Judy may be after some 20 million dollar egg (which is why we see them in those schnazzy suits below), but it turns out he was actually after all of the cars at the art show (including Holt’s pride and joy, Gertie). The next day, while undercover at the chop shop, the boys finally find George who runs off WITH Doug! NOOO!! I was really hoping Doug was actually good now! He and Jake are too cute! A heartbroken Jake and a smug Holt track down Doug and George, and just before George kills them both, Doug knocks him out and reveals he played his brother to help them out! Yes! Doug IS good! Sort of. He’ll probably go back to stealing cars tomorrow.
Back at the precinct, Charles was devastated to find out that he’s not apart of any of the 99′s text threads, and it’s because he’s a frequent-texter. We all know one. Actually, I may be one. After telling a sob story about always being left out, Amy and Gina decide to let him onto the threads, but only after they teach him “How to Text Like Not Charles”. The ladies succeed in making him a more efficient texter which led us to the final scene of the episode and the most shocking moment in Brooklyn Nine-Nine history.
SPOILER ALERT–DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT!
While Charles, Amy, and Gina are walking on a sidewalk talking, Charles sends his first text to the group. Gina reads it as she’s crossing the street and when she turns around to tell Charles good job, she gets hit by a bus. A big, fast bus.
I’m honestly still in shock. This doesn’t really seem like a story path that a sitcom would ever take. Which is why I’m hoping something lighter than Gina’s death is what will come of this. But we won’t know until Spring, because that’s when Brooklyn Nine-Nine returns…
How the hell are we going to make it until Spring???