© Channel 5

Happy New Year! Well, maybe ‘happy’ is the wrong word considering everything that’s been going on recently, but I’m not sure what else to say. Let’s all just acknowledge that it’s a new year, everything still sucks, and Neighbours is one of our only sources of joy in this apocalyptic hellscape.

Here is my first weekly round-up (UK speed) of 2021.

Bye Bye Bore-drey

She’s finally gone! Audrey has to be up there as one of the most boring characters in the history of Neighbours – even stealing 500k from a dead person can’t make her interesting. Toadie and Bore-drey’s budding romance comes under scrutiny from the Kennedys after Nicolette tells them that she has a history of being a bit obsessive with past partners, in an attempt to break them up and stop Bore-drey from confessing their secret to Toadie. However, a hilariously trashed Jane reveals at the Kennedy Christmas party that in fact, Bore-drey has never had a boyfriend before, so Karl confronts Nicolette about lying. It’s at this point that Nicolette decides to step back and leave Bore-drey alone, which is a mistake because she immediately blabs to Toadie about the money that she and Nicolette stole from their patient. I never bought Toadie and Bore-drey as a couple, mostly because of how boring she is. Toadie is kind of quirky, and while I didn’t like Rose at all, at least she was a little bit whacky. Sonya was sort of potty as well. Toadie would never be with someone so dull, and now he isn’t anymore because thankfully Bore-drey has packed up her collection of dowdy floral dresses and skulked off back to Canberra.

Bye Bye Bore-drey. Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy.

Hello Amy

Amy arrives just as Bore-drey leaves as if to really hammer home how dull she really was. Amy is a livewire and immediately sets about getting on Paul’s nerves as much as possible, which is an admirable pastime. Despite having no experience with clothing design, Amy is determined to pitch for the contract to redesign the Lassiters uniforms. May we all be blessed with even half of Amy’s self-confidence. She’s ridiculous and fun, and it’s nice to have her back in Erinsborough, I do enjoy it when a retro character makes a comeback. I hope she sticks around for a while.

Amy’s back! Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy.

Jay is a Jerk

It’s been fairly obvious since he arrived that Jay is a bit of a tool, and I predicted that being friends with him would never end well, but I couldn’t have predicted that it could indirectly lead to Terese being steamed like a bunch of asparagus in the Lassiters laundry room. Jay has really excelled himself this week, as he lets Erinsborough’s resident scumbag Ollie throw a party at Harold’s, and the place ends up getting trashed. He then recruits Hendrix to help him cover-up, and Hendrix agrees because he’s too easily-led for his own good sometimes. They decide to try to make it look like a break-in, which means that Hendrix has to sneak into the Lassiters security office and delete some CCTV footage on his very first day of working there, in order for their story to be convincing. Jay then feels guilty and tries his best to suck up to Hendrix by helping him in the laundry room at work, which gets Hendrix in trouble with Paul for hanging out with his friends when he should be working. Paul banishes Hendrix back to the laundry room in the middle of a heatwave with a mountain of sheets to wash and press, where Terese finds him sweating some time later, and tells him to take a break. Unfortunately, Hendrix accidentally lets the door swing shut on his way out, leaving Terese to wilt dramatically when she cannot get out. No doubt Hendrix will get the blame for it when Terese is discovered, but I like Hendrix, so I am holding Jay 100% responsible.

Yashvi is Also a Bit of a Jerk

Dipi confesses to Shane and then Yashvi that she wanted a proper relationship with Pierce and not just a fling. For some reason, it’s this that finally motivates Yashvi to stop treating her dad like something that she found on the bottom of her shoe. Apparently, when she thought her mum was just banging their neighbour to let off steam after all of the marital problems and Shane’s addiction, she was fine with it, and in fact, was acting like it was all Shane’s fault and an inevitability that Dipi would have an affair when she was married to such a loser. Now that she knows that Dipi would have trotted off into the sunset with Pierce, leaving Yashvi behind, she is outraged by the whole thing. I can’t roll my eyes enough at her right now. Great work making the situation all about you, Yashvi.

Ramsay Street Romances

There was a fair bit of romantic drama on Ramsay Street this week. Clive and Jane had a drunken one night stand, which I think we viewers enjoyed much more than either of them did. We certainly enjoyed it more than Sheila will when she finds out, as she donned her sexiest Christmas dress and practically dragged Clive under the mistletoe at the Kennedy Christmas party, all to no avail. There was also the ill-fated connection between Toadie and Bore-drey, which thankfully all went belly-up, and Bea and Levi finally got together. I haven’t been a huge fan of the love triangle between Bea, Levi, and Nathan because it mostly involved two men trying to decide what was best for Bea when surely that should be her decision. I’m glad she finally went for Levi though because Nathan was a kind of budget Ned and I wasn’t sold on him at all.

Clive and Jane have a major case of Beer Fear. Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy.

Nicolette is Having Quite the Week

Who could ever have predicted that having a baby with someone who you’ve known for about five minutes, who has consistently lied about her past, backchatted her boss, and then tried to steal his wife, could end up going badly? Well, David did. And Paul. And we could all see it was going to be a disaster. OK, so it was only Aaron who couldn’t see what a stupid idea this all was, and even after finding out that Nicolette stole money from a dead patient he’s still pretty on board with the idea of Nicolette having his and David’s baby. David is now dead set against it having learned that Nicolette is a thief, and an unemployed one now to boot, but it’s too late because she’s already pregnant. The whole situation is kind of indicative of 2021 really – it’s a huge dumpster fire that doesn’t appear to be going out any time soon.

Oh well, at least we have Neighbours….