Wow. Where do I start?
It’s been quite possibly the weirdest week in my life – what with being ordered to move the entire contents of my office desk into my bedroom and stay there indefinitely – but Neighbours was on hand to rescue us all from the doom and gloom by providing us with the most bonkers week of episodes in the show’s history. We were treated to a pretty hectic and nostalgic wedding-heavy week of daytime episodes, plus the darker late night Neighbours End Game episodes, complete with some pretty gnarly action and a few swears.
I only just watched the final Neighbours Endgame episode, and I still haven’t quite managed to get everything straight in my head so here, in no particular order, are some of my thoughts from this week.
Easter Came Early
For those of us who’ve invested way too much of our lives watching this show, it finally paid off by being able to spot the numerous Easter eggs that were sprinkled liberally through this week’s episodes. Paul used the phrase “unmissable drama”; there was the reference to the actors who played Lou and Harold (“Tom and Ian” were a couple set to tie the knot at the wedding expo); a glimpse of Dani Stark’s name and also Fiona Corke’s wardrobe supplier Kamizole; Mark Gottlieb’s sister getting name-dropped in the vows at his wedding to Lucy – there were so many to spot. By far my favorite was Ned suggesting that Paige has Torn as her first dance song, saying his mum used to sing it all the time. I’m not going to explain that one because I know you got it.
Along with the Easter eggs, we got to see more familiar faces returning, including Sky and Lana, Dylan Timmins and Des. We also got to hear the old theme song and a re-enactment of the old title sequence, which was pretty perfect and transported me right back to watching Neighbours while my mum was getting my tea ready after school.
A Number of Weddings
They promised us five weddings and I honestly can’t even figure out if we got five in the end. Lucy and Mark Gottlieb tied the knot and he managed to restrain himself from trying to force-feed her for an entire episode. The other Mark’s hair got steadily more glorious as the week went on and he finally married Paige without trying to arrest her first. He wore a kilt and I still haven’t recovered. He also delivered one of my favorite lines of the week when he realized with horror that he was now related to his nemesis, Ned.
Des and Jane got married and she looked absolutely stunning. Des is a very lucky man, especially considering he got flattened by a gazebo almost as soon as he arrived in Erinsborough. The bit where he accidentally proposed whilst picking up a sandwich off the floor was so perfectly Des and also so perfectly relatable. I’m with you Des, I wouldn’t let a bad back get between me and a sandwich either.
Prue got blown up and absolutely nobody cares. Surely a bomb would make it on to the news? And yet nobody in Erinsborough has said, “Hey, did you hear about the bomb that went off?” Didn’t anyone see it? Or hear it? Where are the police? I know Australia is a big country but surely it isn’t so big that nobody would notice an actual bomb.
There have been so many bums on Neighbours lately. We recently got “treated” to several bums at the weird nudist brunch at The Waterhole, and we got shown a few more in the End Game episodes, namely Kyle’s, Roxy’s and Finn’s. And yes, I do have a favorite.
Gary Francis Xavier Canning
As the episodes were going on I had a sneaky suspicion that everyone’s favorite waste of space might be a goner, but it still made me yell, “IT’S GARY!” when Finn shot him in the back with an arrow. Gary was such a distinctly average man in every respect, but nobody can say his death was average – he got shot by an arrow, fired from a giggling psychopath’s bow. As soap deaths go, it was pretty epic, but I am a bit sad. Gary was a moron, but I absolutely loved ragging on him, and I’m going to miss him being so crap. I hope Kyle can accept his Canning destiny and take his place as Ramsay Street’s punching bag.
This leads me to my absolute favorite line from the whole week when things were heating up between Hendrix and Harlow. They were all cozy in the tent, and Hendrix attempted to get them both into the mood by asking, “What are you thinking about?” Harlow’s response? “Gary.” She was thinking about the least sexy character on Neighbours. Way to kill the mood, Harlow. I laughed for ages. Who’s going to be the butt of all the jokes now?
I am not looking forward to Sheila finding out, I’m already sad just thinking about it.
Finn’s descent back into swivel-eyed madness was perfect. Rob Mills really knocked it out of the park this week, you could see how much fun he was having, from the excellent, “Goodbye Bea”, as he pushed her down the mine to the evil cackle when he dropped the snake down there as well. Finn’s murder walk to the camera in front of the fiery backdrop at the end was so incredibly extra, I just loved it. He’s a really great bad guy, and it looks like he’s going to get another chance to go full lunatic in the special two-hander episode with Queen Jackie Woodburne on Monday. I can’t wait, and I will be timing my lunch break so I can watch it as it airs because I work in my bedroom now, and work stops for Neighbours.
I Have No Idea What Happened At The End
I have a few questions, one of which is why the heck didn’t Harlow and Bea club that damn snake to death with one of the many sticks they had, instead of inventing the world’s most deadly backpack? But there are more questions – what’s going to happen to Toadie and Paul? Is Harlow dead? Is Elly dead? We heard her scream but we didn’t see what happened to her, and now everything is on fire.
Can it be Monday already?!