It’s been quite a year on Ramsay Street. Back in March, we bid a sad farewell to Sonya, and some of us are still not over it. We saw Australia’s most inefficient police officer move to Adelaide, where there will no doubt be a rise in unsolved crimes. Kirsha moved to Sydney, probably to never be seen again. We’ve also welcomed some new faces on to the street, some of whom have been less welcome than others (Hendrix, I’m looking at you.)
To round up the year, I decided to give out a few awards to the residents of Erinsborough, I just wish I could figure out how to project myself into a Christmas bauble to communicate with them in order to announce the winners.
Worst Decisions of 2019
There were a few contenders for this one. Ned has been making some pretty terrible decisions all year, and he’s not known for having great impulse control. Gary is also not known for his ability to think things through either, let’s not forget that he almost joined a cult.
But, the winner has to be Elly. From sleeping with her fiancé’s sister to buying booze for a student, Elly has really excelled in making the worst possible decision at every turn this year. I’ll be honest, I would not even trust her to be in charge of one of those Choose Your Own Adventure books.
Couple Getting the Most Action
Despite Ned getting steamy in the bath with Scarlett, and Paul and Terese getting it on in a moving vehicle, the winner of this award has to be Sheila and Clive. I don’t think there’s a flat surface in that hospital that they haven’t had sex on. I sincerely hope the hospital has really efficient cleaning staff.
Most Sudden Departure
Kirsha’s exit was pretty swift. She got accepted into her swanky new school and then she was away within days. Mark also made a pretty hasty retreat into the sunset, so quick in fact that he had to email his goodbyes to everyone. But, the winner has to be Leo, who threw a bit of a strop and then packed all his belongings in about five minutes and legged it to New York.
Most Baffling Cameo
Neighbours loves a cameo, but unfortunately due to the star calibre of the people willing to appear on the show, the guest appearances usually leave either the Brits or the Aussies scratching their heads in confusion. It’s very rare that a cameo lands successfully for both audiences. I’m sure the Aussie viewers were most baffled by Denise Van Outen and that bloke off breakfast TV, but as a Brit I was most confused by what a Cosentino was. So he gets the award, whoever he is.
Loser of the Year
Gary. I don’t need to explain.
Shirker of the Year
Nobody seems to work very regular hours in Erinsborough, but Aaron literally never goes to work. When was the last time he was at the gym? Does he even remember where it is? Are there just hundreds of people lifting weights and leaping around without any supervision? Somebody help them.
Dancer of the Year
Surprisingly, this was a hotly contested category. There was that kid whose name I forget who was really giving it some at the weird outdoor school dance, and Prue did some particularly nice freestyle work in the episode when Roxy got one of those dance machines installed at The Waterhole. But, there could clearly be only one winner. Susan Kennedy. Her bopping at Pierce and Chloe’s wedding may just be my favourite moment of the entire year. Well done Suze, keep on busting those moves.
If you have any awards that you’d like to bestow on our Ramsay Street residents, I’d love to hear them.
Happy new year, and I’ll see you all in 2020!