© Netflix
This episode focuses mostly on Rafa, who is turning out to be a definite loose cannon, and an increasing problem for Gallardo.
Rafa’s Scarface makeover in the last episode successfully won him the heart of the object of his affections, Sofia. For some crazy reason, her parents aren’t that hot on the idea of their daughter dating someone who works for a drug cartel, so Rafa and Sofia hatch a ludicrous plan so they can be together. While Sofia’s family are gathered to celebrate Christmas, their house is stormed by masked men who yell something vague about a revolution and then drag Sofia out of the house.
It’s all a ruse, the kidnappers include Rafa, and the two lovebirds dash off to his mansion to have sex in lots of improbable locations. The trouble is, Sofia’s dad is a high ranking politician, and he immediately turns to Gallardo to get her back. This puts Gallardo in a very awkward position – he needs to keep the politicians happy, and that means turning Rafa in. He goes to do exactly that, but has a change of heart, instead deciding to send Sofia home and secrete Rafa away in a safe house, leaving Don Neto to supervise him.
Gallardo having to deal with Rafa’s nonsense. © Netflix
Oh, Don Neto. He is by far the best thing about Narcos: Mexico, and in this episode we see how suitable he is as a babysitter. And it comes as no surprise to learn that he’s not suitable at all. While Don Neto is supposed to be keeping an eye on Rafa, the pair get sky-high on cocaine and end up leaping around the room to prove that a CD doesn’t skip as much as a record does. This scene wins the prize for the funniest scene in any series of Narcos so far, as the pair jump up and down yelling “Doesn’t skip, doesn’t skip!” – Don Neto brings comedy gold wherever he goes.
He delivers some more gold later as he gets into his car while absolutely blind drunk and has a comedic low-speed crash into a wall right in front of a police car. He charitably decides not to shoot the police officer because it’s Christmas, and instead hires him on the spot as his driver, so presumably he won’t have to drive whilst terribly drunk again. Is there a Don Neto fan club?
Meanwhile, Gallardo has reached an agreement with the DFS. In order to protect Rafa, he needs to personally carry out the favour for Nava that he refused to do in the last episode. The favour turns out to be shipping weapons to Nicaragua, which Gallardo duly does. He gets a brutal beating for his trouble, but he also clocks a warehouse full of bricks of cocaine which are just sitting there idly, with no means of transporting them further. Despite the concussion he must have, he can think clearly enough to see this as a huge opportunity. Mexico is perfectly positioned for funneling cocaine into the USA, and he starts to hatch a plan to do a deal with the Colombian cartels to move their product across the border for them.
Michael Peña as Kiki Camarena © Netflix
Kiki and the DEA don’t really get up to much in this installment. They team up with Guillermo González Calderoni, AKA “the Eliot Ness of Mexico,” and with the help of Kiki’s neighbour they use telephone records to trace Rafa’s location. They’re all set to storm the house – literally standing in the garden – when someone way above their pay grade calls the whole thing off. Gallardo’s deal with Nava means that Rafa’s suddenly back to being off-limits, and Kiki is left frustrated once again. How are they ever going to touch these guys when they’re being protected by everyone but the DEA?
