© Channel 5

It might be a slightly shorter round-up than normal this week because I’m off to spend a long Easter weekend with my support bubble, who don’t watch Neighbours. Don’t hold it against them, I try not to. So, I’ve only seen Monday to Wednesday’s UK episodes from last week. 

Susan is Not Finished With Finn

Finn is back! Well, not really. He’s only back in Susan’s imagination so that she can have one-sided conversations with him and get literary advice while she appears to be writing Olivia’s new book for her. Why is she doing that, by the way? Isn’t Olivia the author? It brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “ghostwriting” doesn’t it? The thing that’s amused me the most about it is the fact that Susan has imagined Finn with a slightly different hairstyle to what he had when he died. 

He’s also a bit full of himself for an imaginary man because the wisdom he’s imparted on Susan is that, despite him going on his cuckoo-bananas murder rampage, Susan still cares about him and misses him. Susan pounces on this to end her writer’s block and enthusiastically starts writing it all down. Considering that Susan’s problem with the original book was that it made her look stupid and like she’d been sucked in by Finn, I cannot wait to see how well this particular hot take is going to go down with everyone. 

Are you OK, Suze? Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

Paul is Awful. Again.

Last week Paul hatched a plan to annoy Karl by allowing Roxy to pitch her idea for a pop-up shop. I actually thought that Paul was going to give her the go-ahead just to get under Karl’s skin, and so did Roxy, but because Paul is a walking bin bag he never had any intention of allowing her to open the business. It was really mean, but I honestly can’t blame Paul for not giving her the green light, as Roxy’s idea of making alterations to clothing seems to be just cutting massive holes in things so that everyone can see your underwear. I was a bit baffled by her rifling through everyone’s wardrobes for clothing to sell last week, and even more so this week when it became apparent that she’d nicked quite a lot of it. What did she think everyone was going to say when they saw their favourite jeans on her mannequins with the bums cut out of them? As business plans go, it’s not really sustainable. 

Bored of Brenlow

I’m bored of Harlow and Brent already, and it hasn’t even really got started. Brent is already undergoing the transformation from being a delinquent to being the tried and tested “rough kid with a heart of gold” character and Harlow loves a project, so she’s all over him like a rash. Literally. The only bit of this storyline I enjoyed was when Paul picked up the stress ball and threw it down in horror when he realized Brent made it. He’s so delightfully childish. 

BORED. Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

Hendrix Has a Short Memory

There was another returning character, as Richie made the most unsubtle attempt to launch himself back into Mackenzie’s orbit by taking a university course that he knew she was doing. In an extremely amusing turn of events, Richie got a lecture from Hendrix, of all people, about respecting Mackenzie’s boundaries. Erm, excuse me, Hendrix? Like that time you respected Harlow’s boundaries by inviting her over to your house and ambushing her with the world’s most unwanted picnic when she’d clearly told she was done with you? Like that sort of respecting boundaries? Jeez, that kid has a short memory. But Richie might not have to worry about it anyway because seeing him again confuses Mackenzie and brings up some old feelings. Given the choice between Richie, who is a sweetheart and is in Erinsborough, or carrying on the pointless long-distance thing with Jay who is a bit of a wand, I think Mackenzie should go for Richie. He’s so sweet I can even forgive him that man-bun. 

That’s all I have for now, I’m off to eat a heroic quantity of Cadbury’s Creme Eggs. Happy Easter!