In what may be the oddest opening of any Preacher episode thus far, we travel far back in time to when Jesus was still alive. Preacher enjoys to be controversial and this scene doesn’t hold back as we see Jesus in a graphic sex session with a woman. After they’re wrapped up, Jesus states he has to depart as his father needs him to accomplish something. He also informs the woman that he loves her and cannot tell anyone what happened that night. His disciplines also arrive at the house and tell him that they need to hurry if he expects to escape. As Jesus heads out with most of the disciplines, one stays behind and stares at the woman, telling her that her secret is safe with him. Seems Jesus wasn’t that good at hiding what he was doing.
Back in the present, Jesse and Her Starr are continuing their conversation from the end of last episode. Starr tries to convince Jesse that they’re on the same side and that he can assist in Jesse’s search for God. He pulls out files that the Grail has compiled and gives Jesse free reign to look through them, though Jesse instead decides to use one as a weapon on Starr after he states he doesn’t know where God is. Jesse tries Genesis on Starr, but ends up with the same result. Starr doesn’t know where God is, but he does admit to being responsible for hiring the fake God in his place after the Grail learned he was missing. Starr offers Jesse to join him in coming back to the Grail’s headquarters and Jesse reluctantly agrees.
Tulip is still suffering from nightmares about the Saint of Killers and searches Denis’ apartment for Jesse. She find Cassidy and Denis celebrating Denis’ birthday with a foursome and asks him if he knows where Jesse went off to. When he replies no and asks if Tulip wants company, she refuses and states she’ll make breakfast for them instead. While starting breakfast, Lara comes over disguised as Jenny to ask for her gun back that Tulip borrowed for the Grail attack. After returning the gun, Tulip starts cracking eggs and haphazardly throwing the shells in with the eggs. Lara asks if she’s alright and even cleans an egg off the ground, which causes Tulip to finally break down. Even a tough girl like her eventually has her limits.
Jesse and Herr Starr arrive at the Grail headquarters and after having trouble with the metal detector, Jesse realizes he still has the bullet from the Saint of Killers. Herr Starr introduces Jesse to the Pope and the Archbishop, to which Jesse doesn’t waste any time and asks where God is. The Archbishop explains that the Seraphim, a rogue group of angels, have ousted God from Heaven and he’s currently on the run from them. The Pope scoffs at this claim and instead tells the story of how the dinosaurs failed God and now humans have done the same, so he abandoned Heaven in order to start his next creation. Jesse is disappointed as he realizes that even the top religious figures have no idea or clues on where God has went. One of them briefly mention that “the boy” knows where God is and that it’s his time to rise up, which prompts Starr to get them to leave. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Jesse, who then uses Genesis to force Starr to explain who the boy is, to which he replies “The Messiah”.
Meanwhile, Tulip is spilling all of the group’s recent adventures to Lara in trying to explain why she’s currently not alright. Luckily, Lara is a Grail agent in disguise, so none of these stories about the Saint or Genesis really surprise her. She tries to place doubt in Tulip’s head though after Tulip states that she still has a bad feeling about things despite Jesse saying he dealt with the Saint of Killers. Lara feeds Tulip a fake story about her ex-husband and how he promised he had stopped drinking, but she had a feeling he was lying and it turned out she was right. Tulip ponders this, but Cassidy and Denis arrive to interrupt. He explains that they’re gonna have to skip breakfast, instead opting to take Denis out since they’ve been cooped up in his room all day. This then leaves Lara and Tulip alone, so then briefly discuss if Cassidy is attractive or not. Lara apparently has a thing for bony, skinny men with visible Adam’s Apples.
Returning to the past, Jesus’ baby from his one night stand has been born. Thaddeus, the discipline that knew Jesus’ secret, states that he’ll protect the baby and make sure Jesus’ bloodline continues on, until the time is right for the successor to rise up. They then have the mother killed to keep the secret only between the disciplines. Herr Starr finishes the story and explains that the Grail is in possession of Jesus’ 25th descendent from his actual baby’s bloodline, so Jesse does the obvious thing in demanding that he be taken to him by using Genesis once again. Starr should really learn by now that he can’t really stop Jesse from getting what he wants.
Cassidy and Denis have found their way to an arcade after going out for some activities. Cassidy is busy playing racing games with one of the women they brought along, but Denis is with the other in a photo booth. The woman begins to scream as she believes Denis is trying to force himself on her, so he quickly gets away and takes her friend with her. Cassidy confronts Denis about this and explains that no matter how much he has the urge to take someone else’s blood, he cannot do it and needs to rely on other sources instead. Denis doesn’t like the scolding and decides to take off, so Cassidy takes a look at the photos that were printed. The final image shows Denis almost managed to bite the woman, which causes Cassidy to start to doubt if he really made the right choice in keeping his son alive.Back at Denis’ apartment, Lara and Tulip are bonding over some Guitar Hero, ironically playing “Dirty Little Secret”, which is not only the title of the episode, but also what Jesse and Tulip’s storylines this episode are basically about. In discussing Tulip’s childhood and life, Lara states that she’s jealous Tulip has had quite an interesting life, unlike Lara herself. She accidentally lets slip knowing about Tulip robbing banks in Dallas, which is something Tulip didn’t say during breakfast, but Lara is able to recover her blunder by stating that Tulip was probably so upset earlier that she simply doesn’t remember saying anything. Tulip believes this and then goes back to playing the game, while Lara heads to the bathroom to call Hoover for backup.
This backup is well timed as Tulip is waiting for Lara as soon as she leaves the bathroom. She doubles down on not informing Lara about Dallas and demands to know who she really is. Hoover disguised as Rodney, Lara’s fake ex-husband, arrives and demands to know where she is. Lara informs Tulip she’ll deal with it and heads out to confront Hoover. He hits her to stay in-character, but Tulip comes from behind and hits him with the Guitar Hero controller. Lara joins in on the beating to also stay in-character and then they both head back into Denis’ apartment to patch Lara up. Since Lara had seen Jesse hide the Saint’s guns in the floor of the bathroom thanks to the various cameras hidden in the apartment, she attempts to get Tulip to pay attention to the loose tile in the floor that contains them. Tulip simply mentions that she’ll get to fixing it soon, which completes Lara’s plan to drive a wedge between the group.
Jesse is brought through a series of planes, trains, and automobiles to finally arrive at the location in which the current Messiah is kept. Upon arriving, Jesse is immediately in awe of the moment and bows to the descendant of Jesus. He tries to explain that he believes he was given Genesis in order to assist in finding God and asks if the Messiah has any clues to help him. What he gets instead is a face full of urine as it seems the current Messiah is somewhat of a simpleton. Herr Starr states that they refer to this Messiah as Humperdoo, to which Humperdoo heads over to Starr and begins harassing him. Jesse takes this time to look through the drawings Humperdoo made, but none of them offer up much, so he instead tries to use Genesis on him. This doesn’t work and rather instantly agitates Humperdoo, so guards are brought in to calm him. Even the descendant of Jesus himself can’t help Jesse on his mission.
Tulip finally decides to fix up the loose tile in the bathroom floor, while Lara and Hoover watch and confirm that Herr Starr ordered them to break up Jesse and Tulip. After ripping the tile out of the floor, Tulip notices something inside and pulls out both of the Saint’s guns as well as his sword. She then places them on the kitchen table and patiently waits for Jesse to return home. On the car ride back to Denis’, Jesse states he understands what Starr was trying to do. He wanted Jesse to see the state that the Messiah is in and understand that isn’t a person that can rule the world. Starr agrees and then reveals his plan: Instead of Jesse continuing his search for God, he can instead use the power of Genesis to basically become God himself. Jesse explains that’s blasphemy, but Starr tells him to think about the offer. With Starr beginning the breakage between Jesse, Tulip, and Cassidy, he knows that Jesse will have no choice but to eventually come back to him for more help.
“Dirty Little Secret” was probably one of the best episodes of Preacher in awhile. Jesse actually had a meaningful storyline in the episode, despite him basically being back at square one like he normally is. The difference is that he now knows what Herr Starr wants of him and also knows that nobody else can really help him find God, it has to come from his own efforts and nothing more. The Cassidy side plot didn’t really amount to much, but it’s good to keep showing that he probably made the wrong choice in the ultimatum he was given. I’m interested to see what will come of it in the end, at least. And Tulip’s storyline is depressing to me, but in a good way. I don’t want her and Jesse to split apart, which makes Lara’s evil plan work well in playing with my emotions. Judging by the preview, Tulip doesn’t take the news that Jesse lied to her well, but I wonder if they’ll patch things up by the end of the season or end it going their seperate ways for awhile.
Dirty Little Secret – 5 out of 5
- All the plotlines were pretty good this episode.
- Seeing a Guitar Hero guitar used as a weapon.
- The Jesus sex scene was insane enough to work.
- Herr Starr revealing his grand scheme for Jesse, right to his face.
- Lara’s a bitch.