When Eugenie Ross-Leming and Brad Buckner, a writing team known to the Supernatural fandom as “BuckLeming” wrote the episode on which the beloved character Charlie (Felicia Day) was killed and dumped in a bathtub for Winchester Man Pain™, shit hit the fan. Literally. They shit all over their fans. The show was booed in Hall H of San Diego Comic Con when a fan asked about her. The actors and now-showrunner Andrew Dabb literally turned their backs, leaving Jeremy Carver to respond with some lame “We go where the story takes us” bullshit. It’s still considered one of the most pointless deaths on the show.
Basically what happens in this episode is: Eileen is killed by a Hellhound that Ketch “borrowed” from Crowley (because that makes any sense) in the opening scene, and everything after that is an out of character mess. Sam and Dean learn about Eileen and are sad/pissed, because there is no other way to create tension or up the stakes for the Winchesters other than gruesomely killing a woman they care about. Again.
Meanwhile, Mary is being tortured by the BMoL because it wouldn’t be a BuckLeming episode without a woman enduring torture of some kind. She can’t tell if she’s really killing people or just dreaming about it, but hell she has enough spark left in her to defiantly tell Ketch and Toni that they’ll never break her! She almost finishes the sentence before she is totally brainwashed on Team British Fuckfaces. Wow. Super Strong Hunter Mary doesn’t last a day. Fucking Fantastic.
Meanwhile, Crowley is working with the BMoL because nothing has to make sense in this episode where no one behaves like they should and continuity doesn’t matter. He gets persnickety when Headmistress Bitch tells him she is gonna kill his (not quite) friends but doesn’t say anything until later when he whines to Lucifer (yes, this asshole is still here, in chains) about how he doesn’t like to be ordered around. He wants to use Luci as an angelic weapon to smite his enemies, but Lucifer (who has been working behind Crowley’s back with a minion bc of course no one is *actually* loyal to the King of Hell) has other plans. Somehow all the control that Crowley had over him is reversing, and Lucifer can now control Crowley. So that’s fun. Luci freezes Crowley and stabs him with an angel blade. Crowley doesn’t go all “static electricity” though, so I am assuming he’s in the rat he was pointedly gazing at before he was stabbed.
Meanwhile the boys get back to the bunker after making lots of phone calls (a shit load of hunters in the US are dead or MIA), in a shit mood because all their friends are being slaughtered, and snagging themselves a Toni along the way. Somehow no one has yet managed to change the bunker’s locks, and Ketch is there waiting with some thugs. Sam grabs Toni and there is an impressive shoot out at the WTF Corral, but then Mary shows up and tells her sons to put their guns down. That’s right. Mary Fucking Winchester is a full blown brainwashed Woman of Letters and meat puppet for Ketch, thus fulfilling BuckLeming’s contractual non-con/external control moment in an episode. Dean and Sam are rightfully confused and pissed, but have little time to chat with Mom because Ketch and Mary have jiggered the locks to actually be useful when they leave, and to have the water, power, and oxygen sucked out so the boys can die a slow death alongside Toni, since Ketch doesn’t like competition for a promotion that Headmistress Bitch dangled in front of him earlier in the episode. This makes complete and utter sense, because what do you always do when you have your biggest threat at your mercy?? Do you just shoot them in the head and count it as problem solved? No, you give them literal DAYS to “die slowly” or “figure a fucking way out of this shit.”
Oh yeah, and apparently Lucifer liked Lion King because the first thing he does when he’s topside again is to visit a mountaintop at daybreak, and I swear to Chuck he was going to start singing.
Pies: No pies. I want to take BACK all the pies I’ve given this show.
BAMF: RIP Eileen. You deserved so much better.