Your Incomplete Guide to Riverdale Ships

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Source: CW Riverdale

(Now with proposed ship names!)

ANDRODGENOUS
(Veronica Lodge and Archie Andrews)

Though she promised to back off of him, there’s definitely still a spark between these Riverdale High lovebirds. Though this season is doing its best to distract us from the central ABV triangle so far, my money’s on this couple becoming a thing!

BETCHIE
(Betty Cooper and Archie Andrews)

Set up in the first episode, Archie’s flat-out denial of feelings for Betty seems to ensure this one ain’t going nowhere. However, if the comics are any indication, this could be a recurring instance of more-than-just-friends!

ANDRODGENOUS SR.
(Hermione Lodge and Fred Andrews)

What’s weirder than seeing your parents kiss? Seeing your parent kiss the parent of a prospective love interest. Talk about family drama! While their relationship/affair is still budding, you can’t help but smile when Fred gets giddy like a schoolgirl around Hermione.

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Source: CW Riverdale

ARCHERIE
(Valerie Brown and Archie Andrews)

How much action can one redhead get? While they were a thing for a while in the comics, Valerie’s flat personality makes for a fairly static and chemistry-free pairing. Let’s hope this is just a temporary distraction from bigger fish!

GRUNDREWS
(Jennifer ‘Ms. Geraldine Grundy’ Gibson and Archie Andrews)

No.

JASONOPOLY
(Polly Cooper and Jason Blossom)

There’s some secrets, some ickiness and some probable illegality going on here; like a twisted take on Romeo and Juliet. We want to ship it, but we just can’t.

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Source: CW Riverdale

TWINCEST
(Cheryl and Jason Blossom)

Oh, come on. We all know there was more there than your run-of-the-mill unconditional sibling love. Cheryl and Jason were boinking and you know it; the real question is if Riverdale’s own Jaime and Cersei Lannister were shippable or not? I’m putting my chips down on ‘ew’.

BETHEAD
(Betty Cooper and Jughead Jones)

The one ship you never knew you needed. Things are too good to last forever, but can we just hold onto this über-cute pairing while it lasts? This teen investigation team is too sweet, and Juggie deserves something pure in his life. Please work out.

BERONICA
(Betty Cooper and Veronica Lodge)

Just because it’s not canon doesn’t mean you don’t want it. Be honest.

VEGGIE
(Veronica Lodge and Reggie Mantle)

The show definitely seems to be headed this classic comics route, and a rich socialite with a meathead jock on her arm isn’t exactly a new trope. How long do we give this power-couple?

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Source: CW Riverdale

CHERONICA (VUCK?)
(Veronica Lodge and Chuck Clayton)

It may have been a short-lived fling to further a revenge subplot and try and popularize the term ‘sticky maple’, but some people might ship it. You don’t know them. If you’re a Vucker, you don’t owe the world a damn thing.

JUST MASON’ OUT
(Kevin Keller and Moose Mason)

Technically this one fizzled out before anything happened, but closeted Moose and flamboyant Kevin would’ve made a cute couple, non?

MOOSEKLUMP
(Midge Klump and Moose Mason)

Just because we only saw them making out in the distance at a drive-in doesn’t discount the decades of romantic history these two share in the comic universe. I, for one, refuse to deny the past.

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Source: CW Riverdale

HALICE
(Alice and Hal Cooper)

Hitler and Stalin. Satan and Beelzebub. Martin Shkreli and inflation. You get the idea.

PLIFF
(Penelope and Clifford Blossom)

See above, but with more maple syrup.

THE REAL MCCOYS
(Mayor Sierra and Myles McCoy)

Dysfunction is so in, you guys. With Sierra and Myles both being perfectionist go-getters hell bent on gaining power and recognition, you have to admit these two would make an unstoppable force if they could just agree on something.

And of course:

SHERIFF KELLAW
(Sheriff Keller and the law)

What kind of fan would I be if I didn’t acknowledge the steamy furtive side glances and obvious sexual tension between Sheriff Keller and the law? Just because it’s taboo, doesn’t mean this ship is any less sailed. We support your decision, Sheriff!

What do you think? Who’s keeping score? Who do you ship? Catch Riverdale back on Thursday, March 30th on The CW or Canadian Netflix!

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Author: Jordan

@jordanrolufs on Twitter!

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