Amara and God made up and decided to jaunt off for some celestial bonding after a family mediation by Dean, who was originally there as a human soul bomb to destroy Amara. Sam and Cas (now Lucifer-free), thinking Dean dead, went back to the bunker, only to find an Englishwoman in what I swear are jodhpurs or some kind of riding outfit waiting for them. She promptly banishes Cas and then pulls a gun on Sam, presumably shooting him. But, wait! There’s more! As Amara and God are heading off, Amara thanks Dean for giving her her brother back and tells him she has a gift for him, too, and zaps him to who knows where. Dean, freshly arrived at the mystery location to which Amara sent him, hears a suspicious noise and when he finds its source, he also finds none other than Mama Winchester back from the dead after over 30 years!!
And THAT is The Road So Far.
Season 12 picks up right where we left off, with Dean staring at Mary in bewilderment, while Mary is (understandably) confused. Dean’s not sure if his mom is real, but her realness is pretty much confirmed when she promptly takes him down, which is the only response one should have when some random guy tries to grab you in the middle of the night. Dean explains to Mary who he is and walks her down Memory Lane to convince her that he is her son, 33 years after she died.
While Dean is talking Mary down from kicking his ass, a redneck Sebastian Stan (no, not really) is driving past a Mystery Spot! Billboard when a Cas-shaped meteor (congrats on the promotion, Misha!!) comes crashing down next to his truck. Dude is all ready for a close encounter moment, but Cas has zero time for this shit and, after finding out how far from the bunker he is, Cas mojos the dude and steals his car, determined to get home. Dean and Mary have some catching up to do, and wow does Mary take things in stride. My parents were pissed if I so much as didn’t call to let them know when I was going to be late, but Mary hears all about the past 30 years and doesn’t pull her own hair out, which is either amazing or psychotic. No, she isn’t happy that her baby boys grew up in the very life that she didn’t want for them, but she seems more nonplussed by the rampant use of technology than she is about the fact that her kids stopped the world from ending more than once. Maybe it’s her hunter upbringing, but I remember when angels were introduced and all the hunters were like, ”Whoa”.
So Dean and Cas are both heading home to the bunker, and Sam is…not. Sam is chillin’ in the back of an SUV after Lady Toni Bevell shot him in the leg. He’s not having a great day, but hey! Toni is a nice kidnapper and pays a (pretty hot) vet to dig the bullet out. After all, people and animals are all just meat when all is said and done, right?
Quick break to what Crowley is up to this episode. He’s not here much, as he’s just chasing the devil, but the scenes he has are gems, mostly due to his scene partners. Lucifer is not dead, and we come upon a couple of demons who are tasked with following him and cleaning up his messes. Bearded Demon Who Possessed A 14 Year Old Girl is my BAE. I love him. I want to see his adventures. Sadly that will not happen, since Crowley kills him and his partner after a couple stops and a few insults.
Toni and her Muscle Sidekick Sadism Buddy have Sam all trussed up in the basement, ready to torture. She tells Sam that she knows him and Dean because the British Men of Letters have been following their exploits for years. She wants info on other hunters, and isn’t afraid of her partner getting her hands dirty torturing the info out of Sam. This whole bit (and Sam’s reaction) is more than enough to tell us that although the British MoL may have studied the Winchesters for years, they do not know them at all. She certainly doesn’t know Sam, as he points out: “I have been tortured by the Devil himself, what are you going to do?” The answer, of course, is a cold shower. This may seem like a laughable punishment at first, but cold water torture is a legitimate way to make someone insane and takes minimal effort. A lesser person would break fairly quickly. But this is Sam Fucking Winchester, and traveling with his brother (and dad) for his whole life means he’s knows how to deal with a cold shower.
Dean and Mary arrive at the empty bunker and, after finding blood, an angel-banishing sigil, and no Sammy or Cas, Dean gives Mama a gun and goes off to search the rest of the place. While Mary is checking out the new digs, she hears someone come in and pulls her gun on Cas. I swear this angel can never just have a nice first meeting with a Winchester. They’re always pulling guns or stabbing him. Anyway, he’s asking about Sam and she’s doing a hand check when Dean comes in. I need to take a moment here to celebrate the really great reunion of the best friends. Cas’s relief and annoyed worry are perfect, and Dean pretending (for a second) that Cas being so happy to see him is embarrassing rather than endearing is wonderful. It’s also interesting to read Mary’s face as she witnesses her son show affection to someone for the first time since he was a preschooler. Cas explains to Dean what has happened to Sam, and the three head to the garage to get Baby and save Moose. It’s a sweet and funny reunion for Mary when she (finally) sees something she remembers and recognizes from her life, and her memories take a Winchester Turn, embarrassing Dean, who apparently thinks he invented sex in the back seat of a car.
Cas does NOT have a harp
Flash over to Sammy, who is still taking the longest cold shower known to man, and not breaking. Toni finally turns the shower off only to torture Sam some more by giving him a terrible job performance review. If I wasn’t convinced before that Toni is either being fed a story she’s swallowed hook, line, and sinker, or that the British MoL don’t actually know anything about Dean, Sam, or the U.S. hunters, this scene does it. Toni tells Sam that he’s “bad at his job” because they don’t kill the monsters until they hear the monsters have killed a human somewhere. The boys scour the news and drive back roads to solve cases. The Brits apparently have sentries all over Britain. They have every way into the UK warded and supernaturally alarmed, so when any monster comes to town, within an hour said monster is tracked and killed. Now, I don’t know about you, but this doesn’t sound like hunting to me. There is no mercy, and there are no questions asked. Now, if doing this in every airport, thoroughfare, and bridge in the little ol’ UK seems insane and impossible, imagine doing it in America. That is what Toni and her ilk want to do. And what really puts the frosting on the cupcake for me in regards to Toni being fed a line of bullshit or BMoL knowing nothing about the U.S. hunters is the fact that she asks about the organizational hierarchy of hunters here. Excuse me while I cackle myself into an early grave. The very idea that these people have studied the U.S. hunters, and Sam and Dean in particular, closely enough to follow the goings on here and still think there is any kind of organization is just ridiculous. Sam once again tells Toni to go fuck herself, and Toni, having not learned shit yet, passes off the bloodier torture of blow torching Sam’s feet to her partner. Well, at least part of him will warm up.
Team Free Sam is on the hunt, and Cas still gives zero fucks as they interrogate the driver who carted the bloodied brother about. While Mary seems surprised that an angel would be so violent, she’s not entirely disapproving. Cas and Mary have a nice bonding moment over returning to Earth after being “gone” for a while, and Mary again can’t seem to reconcile herself to modern life, with all the phones and gadgets and whatnot. They find the vet and scare him enough that he gives up Toni’s phone number. Dean then proves that he was paying attention during Taken when he calls Toni and lets her know what’s in store for her should she hurt his brother (oops too late!).
Toni hangs up the phone and her Torture Pal lets her know that no one can take as much as Sam has and not break (clearly they have never met Sam Fucking Winchester), and hell, she can kill him if Toni wants, but any more and they will have to call in the Big Guns (some unknown psychopath whom I’m sure we’ll meet later). Toni says “nah bro” and decides to try to break Sam’s mind, rather than his body. I again laugh at the fact that she has no idea who she is dealing with. The drugs cause Sam to hallucinate, and it’s a guilt acid trip. He sees everyone he loves dying all over again, and hears Dean’s voice telling him it’s his fault.
Meanwhile, Dean decides to trace Toni’s phone from their convo and the Sam Rescue Trio head back to the bunker. On the drive there, though, Torture Friend Extraordinaire T-bones them (and, wow, this may be the rudest thing she has done so far) and proceeds to kick Dean’s and Cas’s asses. Mary is slumped in her seat and not a concern for Torture Pal, who has some nifty sigils on her brass knuckles, so Cas isn’t too much of a concern either (I call cheating). All doesn’t go her way, though, as she falls victim to the Villain Fail of gloating about your victory to the supposedly vanquished foe, giving Mary the opportunity to kill her. “Thanks Mom.” Mary has a hard time dealing with this, and with the fact that her sons are living the life from which she so painstakingly tried to keep them, but Dean assures her that their sacrifice is for the greater good and that they’re doing what they were meant to.
The hallucinations eventually get to Sam, who punches a mirror and then takes a piece of glass to his own throat. Toni is somehow surprised that he would do this and rushes in to try to help him, only to find that he simply cut his hand (because Sam is smart AF). They fight, he doesn’t kill her, and just as Sam is about to escape, Toni tases him and locks him up. It’s really only now that we see Sam break a bit. He’s been tortured, both mentally and physically, and as far as he knows, no one is coming to save him. Dean is dead, Cas is who knows where, and Sam seems to truly feel alone here in the last moments. This is the first time I actually feel scared for Sammy.
BAMF: Sam Fucking Winchester (as if there was a doubt)
I’m so fucking excited that Supernatural is back this year and I’m so pumped to be covering it again for TGoN!!
What did you think of the premiere? What excites you most? Do you think Toni is a super bitch, or are you like me, thinking there is a redemption story in there for her? How do you think Mary is going to fit in with Dean and Sam’s found-family?