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This week, Danny and Mindy brought baby Leo home & if you still haven’t watched it why did you even click on this, did you want to be spoiled?! Go and watch episode 4×03, then come back and read this post and when you’re done with all of that you can send me some of your thoughts, if they’re as cool as mine *sassy girl emoji*
In her audiobook, Mindy Kaling describes doing a celebratory shot of tequila after her meeting with a network executive, before heading home to rewrite her pilot. Wanting to channel Mindy tonight, I have done the same and am currently sitting on the floor with no pants on – another one of her methods. Here are my tequila fuelled thoughts, enjoy!
- ugh I should’ve brought out that lime
- maybe a second shot will help
- oh hey it kind of did
- oops episode I forgot about you *rewind*
- there are seriously so many Lion King references in this kids life
- just wait until mom and dad tell him his origin story
- one random new years eve they go back to see a production of Lion King on Broadway and Danny gets emotional and Mindy gets horny and Leo the teenager is scarred for life
- anyyyyyyyway that’s just an idea for season 18 of The Mindy Project, now available as hologram theatre right in your living room
- wow that was deep as hell
- *rewinds again*
- hahaha property taxes
- first it was airport dad novels, now its lame dad jokes, what’s next Danny, reading glasses?
- oh, right, you’ve got those covered *heart eyes*
- could you imagine them leaving the hospital and loading up the car and driving with their baby all slow and careful
- ew this alcohol is making me soft ugh
- OMG WE’VE BEEN ROBBED
- always jumps to robbed no matter the situation
- Mindy has been robbed a lot though I guess
- fun proofed! babies are totally the opposite of fun!
- I was raised on TV and also turned out perfect, Mindy Lahiri and I have so much in common!
- what huh where were we?
- AND NO WIFI?!
- lol giving up the weather channel and el nino
- whaaaat nooooo there’s no gun in here
- she found her gun, time to do a shot
- how dare you call her crazy DAN
- I love that, I’m gonna get that as a tramp stamp
- sort of a long tramp stamp
- eh she’ll figure it out
- guys maybe you should have louder sex to drown out the neighbour
- come on do it
- have sex
- ugh fine be boring
- he’s old, I’m essentially a child bride hahahahaha
- SMUG BREEDERS
- I’m calling parents smug breeders from now on
- even my own
- Danny these rules suck
- take that San Fran?!
- I always email TMZ when I leave the house, which is rare but it does happen
- none of this papa mama european bull-jive
- i feel like fox would have not let some of these jokes through so its time for
- HEY FOX WHATS GOOD
- also I wrote europeen the first time teeheehee
- Ok Danny chill out with the emotions
- Go make us some money, I have very expensive habits #SAME
- How does Schulman & Associates make money? First with the George Lopez insurance and now Steve Harvey insurance
- THAT BABY – i feel the same way Morgan
- Aw Jeremy, when will you ever get normal
- HEY BEV
- on the reg with Whitney? she knows right?
- LOL prawns in sauce are probably miserable because they’re dead
- #TLCTuesdays is actually so clever
- I don’t want no scrubs, a scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me, hangin’ out the passengers side of his best friends ride, tryin’ to holla at me
- Adrien, we literally couldn’t care less
- More important characters have disappeared without a word before you
- I hate babies I have nothing to say about these scenes where she’s hanging out with it but she’s being adorable I guess
- DANNY THERE’S AN EMERGENCY IM SO BORED
- #BRINGBACKTHETVANDWIFI
- LOL PEDOATRICIAN
- My biggest fear is literally tripping and rolling down the spiral omg
- ugh books come on dude!
- this Jack Spratt nonsense hit close to home for me too as I am shoving carbs in my face
- you didn’t need to know that
- hoockleberry hah
- how can a book with this many jews in it not have a single joke OMG MINDY
- #heyfoxwhatsgood
- Mrs Reese is hitting on Morgan HARD
- I get it babe he’s like hot as hell now
- that’s a great ringtone to set for your boss
- guys Morgan is totally in love with Mindy right? Like he messed with her birth control and he wanted to go on a date with her and he “snow whited” her when she came back from Haiti AND HE’S SO EXCITED ABOUT HER CALL
- if this was HIMYM I’d develop anxiety over who Mindy would end up with
- but Kaling wouldn’t do me like that
- that Gyllenhall grillin haul pun tho *praise hands*
- Mindy look so cool struttin out of the apartment
- Tamara’s bod is smokin’ though
- Morgan’s god ew face haha
- awwww Jer you’re in love thats adorable
- ohhhhh no THE MOTHER WHAT ARE YOU UP TO
- YAS LAVERNE COX VOICE
- she works at the white house now? what happened to the limo company? you go girl
- LOL door slam
- ew missing your guts what even
- so the issue is that the keys were too big, not that Leo has no motor skills
- my crack eats my clothes too Min
- Clippers? hot sportsball players?
- IM COMING FOR YOU LEO (DiCaprio)
- If you go to a taco place that doesn’t make you a taco
- Aw Chelsea and Mindy are going to be bff’s and I can’t wait
- WHATS GOOD FOX HUH HUH HUH
- very interested in that picture DAN
- she’s literally kicking him out heheheee
- pouahaha she’s hiding in the crib
- GUYS I MISS HAPPY ENDINGS BTW
- “I loved listening to you bone randos” “and I loved falling asleep to you munching on peanut brittle” #FriendshipGoals
- I thought you were slutty for modern female empowerment reasons, not old fashioned sad ones *giggles 5ever*
- hey babe, Morgan isn’t ANYONE at this point he’s one of the hot ones
- like so hot his personality and poverty don’t matter
- it took him 1 hour and 56 minutes to hang a photo? and its crooked tbh
- these #TLCTuesday outfits sound amazing though
- “look at him from behind a plant”
- the vest is back
- omg babe don’t staple your shirt to your body!
- A NANNY CAM OMG
- and Morgans home alone face <3
- his sex sounds are weird as hell
- Duh he knows another Mindy, his neighbours cat!
- *gasp* it was in the picture frame
- omg Danny only came home because his live-feed was out
- that’s why he went straight to the picture
- i see what you did there!
- hey pal, anyone is lucky to get Jake G’s germs!
- ohhhh Danny, I’m just going to assume you didn’t love brokeback mountain because it made you sad as hell
- just give her back her tv and internet man
- WIFE
- WIIIIFFFEEEEEE
- WIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEE BABES
- I’m loving Chelsea being like no let’s just call it a night ssshh
- yikes don’t tell your bosses to stfu
- MASTER HAHAHAHA
- DANNY CHILL
- poor sweet Morgan, yes the “wind” blew the door”
- okay he has tall hair
- to show you the face of devastation, SPECIFICALLY MINE
- TAMAR & WHITENEY
- Aw poor Gerald
- I hope he and Jon still get married
- every day is BUSINESS FORMAL DAY
- hahaha finest body shot
- boo rando dudes
- double boo don’t shame her
- wow both these dudes suck
- lol but like you’re just creeps
- Yo Syria is always wack
- Euh Whiteney what gives? is tha coke? why the marker?
- LEAVES
- LETTUCE IS LEAVES GUYS
- wow look at us adulting though
- awww she was so cute about the sexy striptease
- BAAAAAABES <3
- seriously though we’re adulting and having a legit conversation
- “we’ll balance each other out” “as long as we both compromise a little” “no thats not what I said” heh
- Since this is Hulu, can we see it too?
- jk obvi im not a drunk perv
- what huh ok bye
Thanks for reading guys, see you on Tuesday for a brand new episode and epic livetweet!!
