This is it, kids, we’re down to the last depressing days preceding the new school year, in which we all scramble to stockpile joy against the “educational” months to come. Okay, maybe it’s not so terrible as that, but if you’re a student you can probably look forward to another year of monotonous mediocrity (with a few flashes of fun stuff, school’s not ALL bad). So while you’re sitting in class, trying to learn the difference between sedimentary and metamorphic rocks, feel free to daydream about how much more exciting your day would be if you were sitting in on a Charms class. Here are the top 5 fictional schools we wish we were attending this school year:
5. Starfleet Academy
Motto: Ex astris, scientia (“From the stars, knowledge”)
Notable Courses: Warp Theory, Xenolinguistics, Klingon Physiology, Interstellar Ethics
Founded in 2161, it’s hard not to wish we could attend Starfleet Academy. According to recent Star Trek lore you don’t even need to study or do well in your courses, just use “original thinking” when it comes time to confront the Kobayashi Maru and you, too, could someday command a spacecraft. (*cough* I see you James T. *cough*). But seriously, a class devoted to Alien Languages, the chance to befriend the future Captain Kirk, and diverse students from all walks of life, all located convieniently on our home planet? Who would’nt give up their dingy hallways and cafeteria lunches to go here?
4. Greendale Community College
Notable Courses: Baby Talk, Theoretical Physical Education, The Aerodynamics of Gender
Motto: E. Pluribus anus (Inspired by “E. Pluribus unum” meaning “From many, one.” but the gang added a butt joke…)
Paintball fights, extreme pillow forts, easy and unique courses, and a flamboyant Dean who occasionally comes off as creepy. Also, a theoretical gym class just sounds right. We’d go here.
3. Sunnydale High School
Notable Courses: None.
Motto: Something weird is going on. (Technically unofficial, as it was coined by Buffy and Xander, but still accurate.)
Just your everyday California high school, exepct for the part where malevolent creatures spring up from hades every week. The school was built on a Hellmouth, allowing such dark entities as vampires, demons, and even flying monkeys to break through and wreak havoc on the somehow unsuspecting town of Sunnydale. The upside of going here? There’s never a dull moment, the library is beautiful, the students are all ridiculously attractive, and you might find yourself making friends with Giles, the awesome librarian.
2. Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters
Notable Courses: Individual-Specific
Motto: Mutantis Mutandis (“Changing only what needs to be changed”)
If you can get past the somewhat questionable staff portraits from the comic books, and the events following M-Day; the Xavier Institute sounds pretty great. They provide lots of one-on-one learning, a courseload tailored to your abilities (without omitting the practical classes like Accounting, etc.), and never an uneventful day! Too bad I don’t have sick mutant powers…sigh…
1. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Notable Courses: Potions, Herbology, Charms, Divination, basically every course is notable.
Motto: Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus (“Never tickle a sleeping dragon”)
(Keep waiting for your acceptance letters. Don’t give up hope.)