Love, Death & Hockey: Heated Rivalry Episode 5 Recap

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♫All the things she said

All the things she said

Running through my head

Running through my head

Running through my head

All the things she said (all the things she said)

This is not enough (enough, enough, enough)♫

The song pulses from the speakers, the beat pounding through the club in rhythm with the flashing lights. Bodies are moving everywhere. Jumping. Dancing. Kissing. All except for two. Amidst the chaos of everything around them, Ilya and Shane stare at each other. There might as well be no one else in the club with the way they are looking at each other. Nothing else matters, not the girl Ilya is dancing with, not Rose who Shane goes home with. It is just the two of them, longing for the thing they want most, but cannot have.

And that is where the end of Episode 5: Rose left us. What silly boys, thinking they mean so little to each other that they could move on from this. But thank god for Rose Landry. It might not seem like it yet, but she might be the exact person Shane needs to push him just enough out of the closet to go after exactly what (and who) he wants.

Now onto the show! Here is everything that happened in Episode 5 of Heated Rivalry. And if you missed my last two recaps, not to worry. You can find Episodes 1 & 2 here and Episodes 3 & 4 here.

Episode 5: I’ll Believe in Anything

The episode opens with Shane laying in bed and an alarm clock going off. Rose is up and getting dressed as Shane begins apologizing, saying that the hockey season must be stressing him out. Rose assures him that it’s okay and asks to meet up for dinner later.

While getting ready for the day, Shane scrolls through comments on a photo of him and Rose together. Ilya is reading through the same comments as he gets on a plane. The voice of Man in Crease announces that this year’s All-Star game will be East vs. West, which means that Shane and Ilya will be playing on the same team.

At dinner, Rose asks the question that Shane has been dreading the most: if he would rather be kissing a man. But then also says the thing he needed to hear the most, that it’s really okay. For the first time, Shane is able to tell someone that he has been with a man. That is was different. Better. Images of Shane kissing Ilya flash on the screen as he talks, tears welling in his eyes.

Shane and Rose part ways, promising to stay friends.

Meanwhile, Ilya and Svetlana are laying in bed together, discussing hockey players. Svetlana brings up Shane, mentioning how gorgeous and talented he is. Ilya pretends to be indifferent, only letting his emotions show when Svetlana isn’t looking as she ponders what outfits Rose might bring to Tampa Bay.

And then we’re in Tampa! Ilya is sitting at a bar, nursing a beer, when Shane joins him. They have a few laughs together, falling into an easy banter that their new position as teammates allows them to. While they have both made it clear that they have come to Tampa alone, Ilya asks about Rose. Shane tells him that they weren’t compatible and stares at Ilya’s lips.

On and off the ice, the two experience a side of each other they’ve never been able to before. Ilya, sweet and charming, plays with kids as Shane lounges poolside, taking advantage of the conveniently good view of Ilya in a bathing suit. And on the ice, they work together as a team. Shane scores after an incredible pass from Ilya and when Ilya kisses the side of his helmet, the two grin at each other in front of hundreds of people.

And when the games come to an end, Ilya finds Shane on the beach, watching the sun set. Their fingers touch in the sand as they promise to find each other later.

In Ilya’s hotel room, Shane asks the question that’s been burning in his mind since they were together last, it’s not just me, right? You feel it too, don’t you? Ilya puts up a front, reminding Shane that what they are is simple. They meet up, they fuck, and that’s it. But it’s not simple for Shane. He confesses to Ilya that he is gay and what they have means more. Not because he’s gay. But because of him. And last time, it felt like they were something.

“We can’t be something, Hollander.”

“Would you want to be, if we could?”

“We can’t.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Ilya tries to push Shane back again and again, but it isn’t until Shane says that he likes him too much that Ilya breaks, telling Shane that he wouldn’t be able to go home again. Ever. As they talk, Shane climbs into Ilya’s lap and holds him. When Shane leaves, Ilya calls him by his name as he says goodnight. His first name. Shane does the same.

Later, Ilya texts Shane before a game, asking him to come over. Shane resists at first, claiming it would be a bad idea. But everything they do is a bad idea, Ilya says, and how can Shane argue with that? After a stolen moment together, Ilya’s brother calls him, which he ignores, and Ilya announces to an empty room that Shane Hollander is an asshole after apologizing in advance for destroying Boston tonight.

Alexei calls Ilya again before the game. And again after. Ilya finally answers.

The next day, Shane hears that Ilya didn’t fly with his team to Nashville. Concerned, he texts Ilya immediately asking if he is okay. When he doesn’t hear from him, he tries giving him a call. Again, he gets nothing. Until later that night, when he is tucked away in bed, reading a book, Ilya calls.

“You wear glasses?” Is the first thing Ilya says, before breaking the news that his father is dead. Shane tells him wants to help in whatever way he can, to which Ilya asks him to take off his clothes. And to put the glasses back on.

In Moscow, Alexei corners Ilya, demanding even more than what he has already taken from him. Ilya offers him his apartment and a trust fund for his daughter, with the threat to never contact him again.

Svetlana tells Ilya she loves him and that she hopes Jane knows how lucky he is.

Ilya asks to call Shane and when English is too hard for him, Shane tells him to say everything he’s feeling even if he can’t understand it. In Russian, he says the things he’s been too afraid to admit. He never wants to go back to Russia. He hates it there. Everyone hates him, despite the fact that he gives them everything. All they ever want is more. It kills him that his brother hates him. It kills him that he wasn’t the one to take care of his father. And it kills him, that on top of everything, that all he wants is Shane. That he is so in love with Shane, he doesn’t know what to do.

Shane says he wishes Ilya were with him and Ilya says he does too.

One week later, the Metroes and the Raiders play. During the face off, Shane and Ilya grin at each other and when the puck drops, Shane steals it away. Flying down the ice, Shane looks over his shoulder and locks eyes with Ilya, smiling still. He doesn’t see it coming when he gets hit, but Ilya does. And then he’s down, unmoving on the ice, with Ilya hovering, demanding to know if he’s okay.

Delirious, Shane asks about his parents, then asks the paramedics to tell him he’s okay, because he’s going to worry.

A concussion and a fractured collarbone, Shane tells Ilya when he visits him in the hospital. “You scared me,” Ilya says, holding his hand. Brushing his cheek. Shane, very medicated, asks Ilya to come to his cottage for the summer. Not to go to Russia, but to spend a week (maybe two) with him in private together. Maybe, Ilya says.

With the Metros and the Raiders out of the playoffs, Yuna Hollander has a feeling the New York Admirals are going to win the cup.

One week later, the Admirals make history, winning the cup for the first time in 28 years. Shane and Ilya are both watching from their homes. Watching as Scott holds the cup, skating with it around the ice. As the team’s friends and family join them. As Scott beckons for someone in the stands, a man, and leads him out onto the ice. As Scott Hunter, hockey veteran, takes the man in his arms and kisses him.

Shane’s phone rings and he answers immediately.

“I’m coming to the cottage.”

Book vs. Show: give me angst!

After the release of Episode 5, all everyone on social media was talking about was the way the show changed the scene where Shane gets injured. While the scene itself wasn’t all too different, there was a slight shift in the emotions being portrayed, particularly on Shane’s side. Fans noted the absence of Shane’s words to Ilya while he was laying on the ice: “‘We’re not alone,’ Shane slurred. ‘Ilya. They can see us.’”

Instead, the show gives us an emotionally vulnerable scene in which Ilya watches Shane from afar, terrified and unable to be by the side of the man he loves, and Shane, delirious with pain, mumbles incoherently about Ilya and only Ilya. It is a wonderfully done scene, with plenty of fans voicing that they actually prefer the show’s version better and while I agree that I enjoyed watching the scene itself more, I think that the change feeds into a bigger difference between the book and the show.

Some of the changes, although small, relieve the show of some of the angst that so heavily felt between Shane and Ilya throughout the second half of the book. This is more prevalent when looking at the Skype scene.

In the show, this scene is merged with their first phone call after Ilya disappears to Russia, cutting out after Ilya tells Shane to put his glasses back on. While I’m unsure if they cut the scene for time purposes or because the show seems to be veering away from the physical side of their relationship and towards the emotional side as they begin to accept the changes in their feelings, the intensity of their vulnerability is softened by cutting this scene short.

By ending the scene where it does, we miss details like this:

“Shane kissed the tips of two fingers and reached out and touched them to the screen.

And Ilya’s heart fucking stopped.

‘Good night, Ilya.’

Ilya felt an awful lump in his throat. He had buried his father yesterday, but he hadn’t cried. He hadn’t cried in over ten years. But he knew, in that moment, that he had to end this thing with Shane. It was never supposed to have gotten to this point. He was never supposed to have fallen in love with Shane Hollander. He should have ended it long before because now it was going to hurt so fucking much.”

While the scene itself isn’t necessarily important, the feelings it brings up within both Shane and Ilya are. It is at this point that they can no longer pretend not to recognize that their relationship has become something far more than they were ever expecting. The All-Star game was a start, and then there was the texting, but the Skype call was the moment both of them knew that they were in way too deep. After this call, they both knew they needed to end things.

And it isn’t that the angst isn’t present. Ilya’s speech was absolutely heartbreaking, that the worst part about everything that has happened to him, everything he is going through, is that all he wants is Shane. That Shane is all he can think about. That he loves him unlike anyone he has loved before. I just wish there was more of this, because of how much the book gives us.

How could I not want more when Shane thinks things like this?

“What if he had Ilya all to himself at Shane’s favorite place in the world? If there was no one to interrupt them, no one to hide from, no one to remind them of all the reasons they shouldn’t want each other…

It would be too much. Shane would never be able to hold back everything he had been trying to pretend he didn’t feel. He would blurt something out that he would never, ever be able to take back.”

How could I not need more when this is all Ilya can think?

“He had convinced himself that the only sensible thing to do was to end this thing between them entirely. No good could possibly come of it. Ilya’s heart had entered into it, and that changed everything. It wasn’t thrilling or fun anymore–it was torture.”

But don’t get me wrong. When I was watching the show, it didn’t feel like it was lacking in anything. I was kicking my feet and giggling and punching my couch, screaming, all throughout the episode just like everyone else. And then I read the book.

I understand that most of the vulnerability and angst is trapped within their thoughts because there is so much they are keeping from each other and that aspect of the book is impossible to portray on TV, as I have talked about in my previous recaps. I truly believe Williams and Storrie do an incredible job portraying the complex emotions of their character. So, while I have my complaints about certain scenes being cut short and opinions on how that affects the portrayal of the intricacies of Shane and Ilya’s emotions, I am still a huge fan of the show and I think they are doing an amazing job adapting the book to TV. I just also think you should read the book as well to get the entire scope of the story.

Book vs. Show: he’s coming to the cottage

With all that being said, one scene I think the show completely nailed was Scott and Kip’s kiss. I haven’t read Game Changer, so I don’t know how that scene plays out in its original book. All we get in Heated Rivalry is Ilya’s view of things, which is him texting Shane while watching the game when he suddenly realizes that Scott Hunter is kissing a man and looks absolutely in love as he smiles at the mystery man in his arms.

“But there Hunter was, smiling at this mystery man like he was the only thing that mattered in the world. And holding his face as he leaned in to kiss him again. Ilya felt like he was watching all the worst things about his left getting sucked up by a tornado.”

This a moment when all the emotions from the book really shine through in Williams and Storrie’s performances. In the book, we don’t see Shane’s reaction at all, aside from the texts he sends Ilya. But in the show, as the camera cuts between Ilya and Shane, the emotions so clearly written on both their faces give away everything. While they have both been struggling with the implications of their deepening feelings, and have both come to the same conclusion that they need to end things, the fears surrounding those feelings are different and this scene really encapsulates that.

As they watch Scott kiss Kip on the ice, the way Shane is looking at the TV screams a questioning I can have this? while Ilya’s look of determination could mean only one thing: I’m going to have this. This moment is so pivotal for both of them. Seeing Scott and Kip eases something in both of them. Shane, who is so afraid of being found out, is finally able to see another gay hockey player being unapologetically himself on live television. He sees a man get exactly what Shane has never dared to want. Ilya, who is so afraid of loving someone he cannot have, sees a man, happy and so in love, with another man despite the eyes of thousands of people upon them. He sees a man who has exactly what he has already been so desperately wanting.

This is a perfect example of how changing a scene from the book to TV can be necessary to portray the full scope of emotions among the characters. This is just a small change, but getting both Shane and Ilya’s reactions to the kiss is so important when trying to understand their internal conflicts when we don’t have access to their inner dialogues. Although I wish they didn’t change some of the other scenes, adding this detail was absolutely perfect.

The story continues…

Stay tuned for my recap of Episode 6, but for now, let me leave you with this:

Watch the show, read the book, and scream and cry over both.