Recently, I reviewed the House of the Dragon finale and gave my top 10 moments from The White Lotus season two. I like these shows, but The Boys is my favorite of them all. The first two seasons ruled. I tried to get my fiancé to watch season three, but she couldn’t make it through the first episode. Can you blame her? I almost quit too after Termite shrunk, went inside a man’s penis, and accidentally grew big, exploding the man from the inside out. Don’t do drugs, kids. I’m glad I soldiered on because The Boys did its thing again.
After contentious deliberations, the vote is in! Keep reading to find out the winners of The Boys season three superlatives.
Cutest Couple: Kimiko and Frenchie
I know what you’re thinking. Hughie and Starlight got snubbed! Recount the votes! No. Hughie and Starlight should breakup. Forget that this season introduced Starlight’s ex-boyfriend, Supersonic. Focus on Hughie’s toxic masculinity. All season, Hughie couldn’t put aside his insecurity about his weakness compared to his superpowered girlfriend. He pretended to take Temp V so he could “save Starlight,” when we know he just wanted powers. She doesn’t need any saving, bro!
Meanwhile, Kimiko and Frenchie are the will-they-won’t-they I didn’t know I needed. Every time Frenchie calls Kimiko “mon coeur,” I scream “kiss her!” at my TV. Kimiko finally kissed Frenchie while in the hospital in episode five. The kiss went over weird. It’s hard to tell whether their relationship is just more familial than romantic. I think the vibes were off because Frenchie had to deal with Little Nina’s drama. Still, their chemistry is undeniable. Just rewatch the musical number leading up to the kiss.
Most Likely to be Late to a Meeting of the Seven: A-Train
A-Train had heart issues for most of the season preventing him from using his superspeed. As Homelander constantly reminded him, he looked chubby. Unsurprisingly, the voters had concerns about his punctuality even with the new heart he received from Blue Hawk.
Life of the Party: The TNT Twins
As the hosts of Herogasm, the TNT Twins won this superlative in a landslide. Though, if I had to pick one character to party with, it may be The Legend. He seems like the keeper of infinite cool stories. Starlight earned an honorable mention for the White Claws she chugged in episode five while Hughie filled her in on the Soldier Boy, Temp V situations.
Most Athletic: Victoria Neuman
It’s not exactly athleticism, but Victoria can pop peoples’ heads. Name one sport you’re not winning with Victoria as your first pick.
Best Eyes: Billy Butcher
Let’s face it, this superlative was always going to someone with laser eyes. Homelander and Ryan shoot red lasers. Butcher’s Temp V lasers are more orange-yellow and menacing, so he eked this one out.
Most Likely to Succeed: Starlight
There was a strong voter-push for Crimson Countess to win this superlative. In the hilarious episode five scene with Seth Rogen, we learned Crimson Countess made a killing on Supe Porn Platinum. $19.50 per minute! She also has a chimp sanctuary, or something? Regardless, she died and lost her eligibility.
Instead, Starlight wins for her social media leveraging. Homelander’s reputation took a hit after dating Stormfront the Nazi last season. Vought needed Starlight’s wholesome image, so Stan Edgar named her co-captain of the Seven. For supes, polling numbers is power, and the numbers favored Starlight this season. She continued to get those numbers up by pretending to date Homelander, even kissing him. After Soldier Boy blew up the Herogasm party, Starlight went live from the scene to tell her followers the truth and resign from the Seven. Over 22 million views. In episode seven, she went live again and secretly recorded Homelander admitting to Supersonic’s murder. No doubt a sizable chunk of her 190 million followers caught that story. With all that fame, Starlight’s future looks bright.
Best Dressed: Mother’s Milk
A lot of people voted A-Train as a joke. Mother’s Milk ultimately prevailed for the leather jacket that always looks so clean.
Class Clown: Soldier Boy
Soldier Boy is low key the funniest character. I’d include some quotes, but they don’t do the delivery justice. They’re also extremely profane. Try 14 minutes, 29 seconds into episode seven if you need a laugh.
Teacher’s (Vought’s) Pet: Ashley Barrett
Do I need to explain this one? Ashley has sold her soul to Vought. As terrible as she is for her racist comments, murder cover-ups, and loyalty to Homelander, her PR prowess has kept her relevant in the show. She did delete the footage of Maeve surviving in the finale, so maybe she isn’t all bad. Though deleting the footage wasn’t completely altruistic. Would you want to deliver that news to Homelander? I’m interested to see how Ashley’s character arc progresses.
Friendliest: Black Noir’s Cartoon Friends
Black Noir’s visit to Buster Beaver’s Pizza Restaurant in episode seven was amazing. Black Noir’s conscience conjured up cartoon friends, which told us dark details about his life in the friendliest of ways. Namely, Buster Beaver recounted when Black Noir “p-p-p-paralyzed” another child at the age of nine and the cartoon friends gave us the backstory of Black Noir’s relationship with Soldier Boy. The cartoon friends were a major highlight from this season.
Biggest Flirt: The Deep
The Deep has major problems. This season he asked his wife to participate in a threesome with him and an octopus… hard pass.
Most Changed: Ryan
Butcher made a major miscalculation this season. He distanced himself from Ryan, partly to distance Ryan from his violent plans and partly because he unfairly blamed Ryan for Becca’s death last season. This led Ryan into Homelander’s arms and the season ended with Ryan in lockstep with Homelander. Becca would be mortified. It seems certain that Ryan will play a major role as a villain in season four.
Best Bromance: Hughie and Butcher
The Temp V boys! Butcher would hate the term bromance, but his friendship with Hughie often carries the show and keeps the Boys together. We learn about Butcher’s demons in episode seven when Mindstorm trapped Butcher in a nightmare. Butcher and his nervous, frail, little brother, Lenny, were abused by their father and Butcher took the role of Lenny’s protector. Lenny eventually committed suicide, which is clearly one of Butcher’s core traumas. Hughie reminds Butcher of Lenny, which explains their sincere bond.
Best Smile: Homelander
This season ended with Homelander losing all control and zapping a civilian protestor to pieces with his laser eyes. To his surprise, Homelander’s supporters cheered. This gave us the Homelander smiling meme that one could only miss by living under a rock. The smirk we get from Ryan is even creepier.
Antony Starr is crushing it as Homelander. As a side note, if you haven’t watched him in the show Banshee, then you should as soon as possible.
Best All-Around: No One… Ok, Queen Maeve
All characters in The Boys are extremely flawed, and we should strive to be like none of them. If this is a copout and I have to pick a winner, I would pick Queen Maeve. She played a major role in this season by tipping Butcher off about BCL Red, serving as Starlight’s ally, and saving everyone in the finale by jumping out of the building with Soldier Boy despite losing an eye.
Who Got Snubbed?
That’s a wrap for The Boys season three superlatives. Who got snubbed?