
*UK PACE*
It’s one of those weeks where I’ve only watched up until Thursday, but it’s been quite the week, so there is plenty for me to get my teeth into.
Mackenzie Says Yes
I’m super excited that Mackenzie has said yes to Hendrix’s marriage proposal. Rather than having the rather tired, “You’re too young to get married” storyline, everyone is very excited for them, which is refreshing. Hendrix’s mum is so excited that she even gives him a family heirloom to give Mackenzie as an engagement ring. I hope we get to see the wedding before the end times because I think it might possibly be cuter than Roxy and Kyle’s wedding, and hopefully, nobody will get crushed by a tropical-themed bar.
The Kennedys Take in Another Stray
Karl and Susan are amongst those celebrating the engagement, and Karl is also briefly celebrating what he thinks is a reconciliation with Susan. With their finances taking a hit after investing with Montana, they’re in need of some extra cash, so they invite Levi to come and stay as a lodger. Everyone seems happy with the arrangement, although I’m sure Levi has some doubts when Karl gleefully tells him he and Susan have tested the “structural integrity” of his bed. Karl thinks Levi’s arrival means he’s back in bed with Susan, but she kicks him and his flat cap into the spare room. He then kicks up a fuss about the state of the spare bed in there, so Susan dumps him onto the sofa. I’m fully on board with Susan’s pettiness, Karl deserves it, and it’s truly hilarious.
Wendy is Still Trying Too Hard
Seriously, Wendy. Just chill out and try to act normal before I cringe myself to death.
Corey Goes Full Jack Nicholson
Obviously, the big storyline this week was the climax of the Harlow and Corey cult-fest. Corey has dragged Harlow off to some sort of pre-compound staging area of the cult, where she dons a white dress and waves her arms around on the lawn because she’s off her tits on Corey’s special tea.
Meanwhile, back in Erinsborough, Freya spots Harlow’s ugly cardigan in Christabel’s car and starts putting it all together. I’ve hated that cardigan for some time now, so I am as surprised as anyone that it should end up being the hero in this drama. Freya notices the last location the car went to according to the GPS and later on decides to go out there to see what’s going on. She arrives while Harlow is still having her woodland silent disco and tries to help her, but Corey finally shows his true colours and whacks her over the head. She ends up in Christabel’s bunker, and Corey speeds off with Harlow.

Christabel is about to drug Freya, and she’s going to wish she had done it sooner because, at that moment, Freya manages to escape and runs off into the bush. Freya is one tough cookie, and Phoebe Roberts’ distress-acting is very good. That girl is going to need some therapy, though. This is the second time she’s been abducted now.
Also, on her second abduction is Harlow, who realises Corey has been drugging her water, so when they stop for a toilet break, Harlow uses sign language to signal to the guy working at the service station. Now, I thought it was really great that Neighbours used this hand signal, which can be used discreetly all over the world to let someone know that you need help. It is especially useful for victims of abduction or trafficking. However, the keyword there is “discreet”, and it was very clumsy of the writers to have the guy at the service station respond by bellowing “POLICE!” into his phone in front of Corey. That is not how anyone should react to being given this signal. It is silent for a reason. I’d hate for this to discourage anyone from using it to try to get help or to confuse anyone as to how they’re supposed to respond.
Anyway, with the police clumsily called, Harlow locks herself in the toilet, at which point Corey has a real The Shining moment and starts trying to bash the door in. Luckily, Harlow escapes through the window and happens to run into David, who’s come to investigate, and picked a disheveled Freya along the way. Everyone gets back to Erinsborough safely, apart from Corey, who is still on the run. Corey’s absence is why I don’t think this one is quite over. We still don’t know what’s on the USB, and The Order coming all the way to Australia to target Harlow just because her family is rich doesn’t ring true to me. Corey was in London. There are plenty of rich and easily-led people there, so why Harlow specifically? There’s definitely going to be more to this!

Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy
My favourite part of this whole plot is that Freya and Levi start to get closer again as a result, and it’s nice to see Levi finally have some chemistry with someone. Richie Morris is a great actor and very pleasant to look at, but so far, the writers have done him a bit dirty by making Levi so boring. As a result, he’s had zero chemistry with pretty much all of his love interests until Freya came along. More of this, please. They’re cute together.
Glen Gets Squished By an Empty Barrel
The elaborate choreography required at the vineyard for Kiri and Glen to avoid each other finally causes a pretty major problem, in the form of Glen getting squished by a clearly empty and very light barrel. I know they’re not going to throw a real full barrel on top of him, but honestly, it looked more empty than the takeaway coffee cups from Harold’s. Glen is rushed to the hospital, where it seems he hasn’t aggravated his old back injury too much. All he needs is some rest and pain management. The problem is that, as an addict, Glen doesn’t want to take any opiates, which is completely understandable. Clive tries to persuade him, but he’s adamant he can manage without drugs. My prediction is that the pain will be so bad he’s going to end up self-medicating and falling back into addiction, or else this storyline is a bit of a dead-end and all over a bit too swiftly.

On the subject of the vineyard/distillery, can someone please explain to me why they’re always drinking neat gin there? I like gin, and even though I wouldn’t ever drink it neat, it’s absolutely gross without tonic. Is there a tonic shortage in Melbourne? What’s going on?
Terese’s Mum Turns Up
Terese’s mum has rocked up on her doorstep after spending a whole afternoon in the pub, and she looks like tremendous fun. She’s spiky, and she couldn’t have greeted Terese with more hostility – I am really looking forward to her making a few waves on Ramsay Street. Sparks are going to fly!
Inexplicably, Paul is Still Not in the Bin
While Glen is getting carted off in an ambulance, Paul is too busy to go and see how he is because he’s having a full-blown hissy fit with Chloe and the HR person. When told he’s being unprofessional and rude, he reacts by being unprofessional and rude, leading to Chloe suggesting a code word she can use to tell him when he’s being an absolute fork. So all I have to say to Paul is this: WE HAVE A CONFERENCE CALL WITH NEW YORK.