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The Monsters That Go Bump in the Night

As Halloween approaches, we take a look at some of the most terrifying monsters that anyone could have the misfortune of meeting, and a few tips on how to survive them.

Six of the Worst Monsters You could Ever Meet in Fiction (And Some Tips on How to Beat them)

Sometimes it can be fun to get a good scare now and then. Unless, of course, it involves getting visits from these unholy entities. For as long as humanity’s told stories, it’s also dreamt up monsters and things that go bump in the night. And these guys are among the last beings that you want to find yourself facing down. That said, that doesn’t stop us from developing a macabre interest in them.

Welcome to the Game of Nerds. I’m RJ Writing Ink, and we’ll be talking about five of the scariest monsters and supernatural killers in pop culture and how to kill them. If you haven’t seen the content, they’re a part of, then beware: spoilers ahead!

Also, full disclosure, I do not include the likes of Dracula or the Frankenstein Monster. They’re good, but not even they can hold a candle to some of the people on this list!

Bill Cipher, Gravity Falls

If you haven’t seen the show, then you may wonder why a villain from a Disney cartoon could get on this list. If you have seen the show, though, then you know exactly why he’s one of the scariest beings you could meet. 

In the context of Gravity Falls, Bill Cipher is an ancient, interdimensional demon that originates from the second dimension and interacts with our world via people’s dreams or making deals with others. However, Bill wants nothing more than to escape to the third dimension and spread his chaos there at the expense of everyone else. To that end, he spends centuries manipulating humans to create a portal to let him escape and bring about Weirdmageddon. 

If you’ve seen Gravity Falls, then you know that Bill’s not someone you want to face. He’s a nigh-invincible, godlike entity, capable of warping reality on a level that not even MCU Thanos could do. Coupled with his insanity (which he doesn’t deny), sadism, and love of chaos, this puts him on a level of power unto himself. His biggest flaw is his arrogance, but he’s almost impossible to trick. Your only hope is to somehow seal him back inside his dimension, or, barring that, find a way to destroy him while he’s inside someone’s mind.

Oh, and he’s also aware of the fourth wall.

Pennywise/It, IT

TGON-BAKES-PENNYWISE-COOKIES
Source: ign.com

IT may dress like a clown, but no one’s laughing when IT shows up. This monster was dreamt up by literary genius Stephen King and served as the focus of his famous novel, IT. In Stephen King’s fictional universe, Pennywise is an extra-dimensional predator older than our universe, and he’s made the town of Derry, Maine, his hunting grounds. Every 27 years, he awakens from hibernation to feed on victims, scaring them with their worst fears before dragging them to their doom. However, he then makes the mistake of pushing a group of tweens too far, and they stand up to him and give him his first real defeat.

Pennywise is so terrifying that he has no set form, at least, not one that humans can comprehend. He prefers to shapeshift into what his victims fear most; he claims it “salts the meat.” However, that’s also his biggest weakness. Overcome your fears, and his power will weaken to the point where you can take him down. In other words, he’s a bully who will crumble under pressure.

Freddy Krueger, Nightmare on Elm Street Franchise

Freddy_promo_1
Source-Warner Bros, Horror Film Wiki

Welcome To Prime Time, B****! First introduced in Wes Craven’s 1984 horror film, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Freddy Kreuger’s good at two things: killing people and dishing out one-liners. In the franchise’s lore, he was a child killer who got arrested by the police. Since some knucklehead forgot to sign the warrant, though, he got out scot-free. Outraged, the town parents burned him alive in the act of vigilante justice. However, this act of vengeance only led to him becoming a dream demon, entering the dreams of the living and killing them from within.

There are many aspects to what makes Freddy Kreuger so terrifying. There’s the iconic bladed leather glove that he uses to skewer victims. There are the hideous burn marks inflicted upon him in his final moments. Lastly, there’s the fact that he can kill you in your dreams. And since our imaginations create dreams, this lets him manipulate them to his own ends. So if you want to beat him, you have to do one of two things. Firstly, you’ve got to find a way to drag him out of the dream world, rendering him as mortal as the rest of us. Or, you could try and beat him at his own game and use your dreams against him. 

Not going to lie, can you imagine how cool it would be to fight Freddy Kreuger in the dream world using a giant mecha or a chainsaw made out of lightsabers?

Candyman, Candyman Franchise

If you value your life and sanity, do not say his name five times into a mirror. Created in the 1990s, Candyman isn’t just one of the scariest horror villains you could face. His backstory will also tug at your heartstrings and remind us of how messed up our country can be regarding racism.

Once a talented African-American painter named Daniel Robitaille in the late 1800s, poor Daniel fell in love with the daughter of a wealthy white landowner that he’d been hired to paint. She loved him back, but when her Dad found out she was carrying their child, he didn’t just have Daniel killed. No, he had his painting hand severed, a meathook jammed into the stump, and then sicced a hive of bees on him until he was stung to death. As a result, Daniel became the first in a “hive” of African-Americans killed in gruesome fashion. He became the Candyman.

Candyman’s what you’d get if you combined DC villain Scarecrow with a vampire. As the queen bee of this hive of hatred, Daniel’s grown to love the fear his legend invokes, as it’s what gives him his power. Thus, he will use any of his supernatural abilities to make sure no one forgets about him. Once you summon him through a mirror, he will skewer your insides with his meat hook. Or, just as bad, he sics the hive of bees that now live rent-free inside his body. 

If you want to take him down, don’t summon him, and make sure no one else is dumb enough to do so. Otherwise, cover up your mirrors, find some medieval armor and a good beekeeping suit before you dare to face him. 

The Headless Horseman, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

This next monster is an oldie but a goodie. The Headless Horseman myth’s been ingrained in American folklore for 201 years now, but he’s much older than that. He originates in mythology found in the British. In Irish lore, the Horseman’s known as a Dullahan, a demonic warrior that rides on horseback with their head by their side. And has a whip made out of a human spine. According to legend, when the Dullahan stops riding and calls out someone’s name, that person will instantly drop dead. 

In America, though, we know the Horseman as the ghost of a Hessian soldier on a quest to find his missing head. Barring that, he will try and take the head of anyone unlucky enough to be traveling through his neck of Sleepy Hollow on the same night as him. Case in point, look at the fate of Ichabod Crane, who may or may not have been killed by the ghostly Hessian. If you encounter this guy, you can do one of two things. Firstly, you can try to outrun him on whatever mode of travel you’ve got and pray that his horse isn’t supernaturally capable of keeping up with modern cars. Or that he hasn’t traded it in for a motorcycle. Secondly, you could find the remains of his head and hope that will appease it. 

The Joker, DC Comics

TGON-BAKES-THE-JOKER-CAKE-POPS
Source: people.com

This character is proof that, sometimes, the biggest monsters are the ones that are simply human. No one knows who the Joker once was, not even him. In his own words, he’d rather his past be multiple choice. All we know is that he was part of a break-in at the Ace Chemicals plant; he met Batman and fell into a vat of chemicals that left him in his current state. All that matters now is that is he’s crazy, doesn’t care about anyone or anything, and lives to spread chaos. And despite not having any superpowers, he’s able to go toe-to-toe with people who either possess godly strength like Superman and Wonder Woman to actual gods like Darkseid. He’s just that crazy.

If you ever find yourself facing down the Joker, you can do one of two things. First, call a superhero and hope to all that is holy that they can deal with him. Or, you can do what Batman Beyond does in Return of the Joker and mess with him enough to make him trip up. Otherwise, you’re dead.

Happy Halloween!!

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