The feature film crossover is big news, so it wasn’t a surprise a few weeks back when a news flash broke about possible plans to have the Fast & Furious franchise cross with the Jurassic World franchise.
Ask Chris Pratt (Jurassic World) and Michelle Rodriguez (Fast and Furious). They implied that this could be a great idea. F9 director Justin Lin recently told c|net, “Once you reach a certain pinnacle, there’s nowhere to go but to cross brand and merge, it’s what big corporations do with each other when they get too big, you know what I mean? I’ve never said never to anything.” And why not? Neither franchise has gone completely flat and, in fact, F9 ups the action ante considerably, but where will these movies end up?
Maybe together … Possible titles: Veloci-Raptor? Jurassic World: DOM-inion 2?
Like a red rag in front of a bull, this can only lead reasonable people to think of more feature film franchises that need the crossover treatment. Let’s take a peek under the hood at various legal departments and studios, because: THERE HAVE TO BE AT LEAST ANOTHER THREE FRANCHIISES THAT ARE CRYING TO GET TOGETHER!!
Okay. No more caps. I got excited there.
Film Crossover #1: Batman and Bond
This is a TOTALLY natural film crossover: The Dark Knight goes up against Bond, James Bond – Secret Agent 007. Or maybe they team up. Or maybe both. They’re completely iconic characters that have undergone frequent updates and transmutations. Like Bond’s martini, Batman would emerge shaken, not stirred.
Look at the star-studded list of actors appearing in each franchise:
Keep in mind that Batman harkens from DC (Detective Comics), so he is fully capable of adding two plus two and getting four. Also note that the savvy servant of Her Majesty’s Secret Service is also a bad-ass fighter who quite often tosses aside his tuxedo jacket to land a few well placed haymakers.
Because these two franchises have employed many actors, if there was a multiverse of detectives & spies, it would be possible to pit Sean Connery against Christian Bale. To milk the comedic potential of the crossover you could do far worse than Adam West vs. Roger Moore. Even if you shove the vastly underrated George Lazenby into the mix, it’s all good in the neighborhood.
There are a plethora of other aspects to this film crossover that are quite appealing:
- Alfred vs. Q: How does a high tech batarang stack up against a pack of cigarettes that fires a laser beam?
- The Batmobile vs. The Aston Martin DB5: Depending on the model, a low-slung, jet-powered, nearly-invisible-at-night, missile firing, vehicle that’s able to reach mach 3 speeds might just take down the DB5. The British car’s hub cap spinners are still cooleo, though.
- Bat gadget vs. Bond gadget: While Bond has every gadget that can fit into a tux (admittedly one that has numerous hidden pockets), Batman has a utility belt that seemingly holds the entire contents of a Home Depot.
Film Crossover #2: Rocky and Rambo
There are endless possibilities in this calamitous crossover.
Scenario A: A middle-aged Rocky Balboa leaves boxing and takes up law enforcement in a small mid-western town. A middle-aged John Rambo stumbles into that town and mistakenly runs afoul of the law. Instead of Brian Dennehy, we have Sheriff Stallone vs. bandana Stallone in a knock down, drag out battle of the ages. Who wins? Neither character leaves unbloodied, but it’s Shariff Rocky – by TKO.
Scenario B: An elderly Rocky Balboa runs into a young John Rambo, this time recently returned from Spec Ops duty in Afghanistan. The two bond in the boxing ring. Acting more like Mickey from the first two films of the franchise, this Rocky molds Rambo into a boxing machine, and just in time. The Olympics are just around the corner and it looks like Rambo is going to have to fight a lightning quick heavyweight boxer nicknamed: “The Killah from Kabul.”
The only downside is that dialog comes at a premium when “Yo, Adrian!” gets together with “Don’t push it … Don’t push it.’
Film Crossover #1: Star Trek and Shrek
Star Trek has always been about diplomatic missions, hasn’t it?
For example, in Star Trek: TOS, Season 2, Episode 10 (Journey to Babel) the crew of the USS Enterprise is tasked with transporting dignitaries to a diplomatic conference. It is the first appearance of Spock’s father, Sarek. It introduces two new alien races, the Andorians and the Tellarites. The episode involves secret message transmissions, a murder, a stabbing, blood transfusions, an operation, and a poisoning. All in one little hour – with commercials!
I believe that’s where a crossover between Shrek and Star Trek would start. All the inhabitants of Shrek’s remote swamp in the fairy-tale land of Duloc have to leave (because of some sort of planetary upheaval that magic can’t fix) and it’s up to the crew of the Enterprise to ferry them to a new home.
Along the way we can experience every goofy plot trope that Star Trek has to offer:
- A transporter malfunction combines Kirk and Shrek into one being (albeit for just a short while). Fiona’s pretty smitten with the results. “What a hottie!”
- Lord Farquaad sneaks on board and manages to commandeer the Enterprise for his own nefarious purposes
- Donkey accidentally activates the self destruct mechanism and with the ship’s crew turned into Tribbles, Shrek has to figure out how to disarm it
- Shrek himself gets to lecture Kirk about the needs of the many outweighing the needs of the few (nothing in this crossover needs to make sense to be good)
- Pinocchio realizes his dream of becoming a real boy, then signs on as an ensign in the Federation
Ones That Almost Made The Cut:
- John Wick and The Predator
- Harry Potter and Middle Earth
- Madagascar and Planet of the Apes
- Die Hard and Pirates of the Caribbean
Making these scenarios is sure exciting! We want to see yours. Have fun with it and report in via the comments section below.