It’s Supernatural day which means we get to recap what happened last week and try and make sense of it before tonight!

Last we saw Dean, he was Michael except not really Michael, as the dapper but daunting archangel had inexplicably left the body of Dean. Now Dean is back in the bunker and kinda grumpy about both the company (a shit load of hunters) and his brother’s new beard. Chill, Dean. Sam’s a Millennial; we appreciate sad beards. After Dean reassures Sam he has “no memory” of being Michael and endures the awkward introductions to the new hunters, Jack and Dean have sweet reunion before the music literally swells when Cas and Dean see each other, sharing a Totally Platonic Friend Look™. We soon learn that Mary and Bobby are having a honeymoon– er clean up in Duluth, and Nick ran off in a totally non-worrying trip after spazzing about his family. None of this is as weird or as shocking, however, as learning that people call Sam “Chief.”

Totally Platonic hello. Images: CW/WB

Totally Platonic hello. Images: CW/WB

Dean doesn’t seem to know what happened while Michael was using his body, up to and including how he got a nifty new scar on his shoulder, so he asks Cas to get in him (to read his mind, you perv) and figures some shit out. Unfortunately, Cas bypasses all the fun cool shit and zeroes in on when Dean got the scar, and we see the hooded figure from way back when the CW seemed to be 100% behind a fantastic show full of promise and non-white hetero male representation called Wayward Sisters. Turns out the thing that hurt Michael was a spear wielded by Killer Kaia, who found him in Sioux Falls. After a call to Jody it’s determined that the team should head out ASAP to figure out what or who stabbed the Michael out of Dean and is beheading other folks, too.

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Except, not everyone is going on this trip. The boys gently-ish tell Jack he’s not ready for this jelly (he does not take it well), and before Cas can pack his unnecessary bag a hunter comes in with a freshly rescued-from-a-witch hyper-aging girl, so Cas stays behind to try to break the spell using his mojo.

Meanwhile on the road, Sam is trying to make the most of is psych 101 class by trying to get Dean to talk about his feelings™ about Michael which, to the surprise of no one, Dean doesn’t want to talk about, insisting that the whole thing was as quick as a blink and SHUT UP ABOUT IT SAM. Ah, brothers. They meet up with Jody who has thoughts on both Sam’s beard (she’s ‘pro’) and on avoiding difficult conversations with people you love (she’s also ‘pro’ as long as it means she can avoid Claire’s heartbreak over losing her first love, Kaia). Dean is full of grit and determination and devoid of common sense, so despite the long drive and his ongoing recovery from being an angelic sleeve, he vetoes the idea of sleep and the trio goes monster hunting.

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Back at the bunker, Jack is speeding through childhood as he enters his “my parents are mean and I’m running away from home” phase. He packs a bag and writes Dean, Cas, and Sam a note (in better handwriting than I could dream of). Before he can hop that train car, however, Jack hears Cas and a hunter trying to figure out how to help the girl brought in under the witch’s spell, since Cas’s grace wasn’t enough. Curiosity piqued, Jack heads in to see what’s up and Cas shows us his growth as a parent by demanding to know where his teenager thinks he’s going. Immediately scuttling his plans to run away, Jack compares the dying girl to Sleeping Beauty and Cas quickly disabuses him of any whimsy in this story, since the girl is legit dying, and Jack decides to stay. Ah young love… the kind you read about in fairy tales in which a dude is super into a girl who’s sleeping…

Anyway, back in Sioux Falls the next morning the case gets a breakthrough! And by that I mean a bunch of heads on pikes which, by process of elimination, could only really belong to Jody’s already headless bodies. A quick squeezing of gums reveals that the heads belong(ed) to vamps, which is mildly concerning since Jody had the bodies “run” for “weird monster shit” and nothing came back. Oh well, I’m sure this isn’t something that will bite us in the ass later.  Dean notices the fire in the camp is hella recent and has a Michael flashback that gets too real when Killer Kaia pops in and kicks his ass before scurrying off with her nifty spear. Jody and Sam decide “hey that seems like the resource we need now!” and the three head off after her.

Things are going just about as well in the bunker, as Cas has moved on to magic, trying to figure out the recipe for a spell Rowena gave him to help the rapidly aging teen. I love that Cas now knows his way around the bunker so well that he can direct people to exact shelves because my baby always deserved a home. Cas may be trying to save girl’s life, but Jack is trying to save her life as he and Laura bond about how parents just don’t understand. Turns out Laura is a runaway, too (or, it would be “too” if Jack had actually made it out the door), but she learned the super hard way that while your parents may be annoying AF and give you a hard time, they’re still better than a witch who gives you pretty baubles and literally sucks the life out of you. Unfortunately, when Cas casts the spell, it does the opposite of helping and Laura withers away before Jack’s eyes. EEP!

Back in Sioux Falls, the team is tracking Killer Kaia when Sam suggests that maybe the monsters are hunting her, rather than vice versa. Dean scoffs in the Deanest of ways, but Jody is more inclined to listen to Sam’s theories of amped-up monsters. Dean literally gives no fucks, however, and decides to head straight into whatever with no plan. Maybe I was wrong and this is legit Dean after all. After Dean scurries off, Sam and Jody scramble to catch up, and during this little hike, Jody confesses she doesn’t want to tell Claire about the monster shit, especially not the Killer Kaia shit because although Claire is doing well, first love is a bitch and dealing with Kaia’s death has been rough.

Eventually, the team tracks Killer Kaia to a cabin and Dean knocks her out. When she awakens, she finds herself tied to a chair and with Dean in her face, and not in a hot way, either. She tells Dean, Sam, and Jody that killing Kaia was an oopsie as she was actually aiming for Claire and that the Kaias were connected and could see into each others’ lives. She taunts Dean a bit, telling him that he’s not as scary as his recently evicted tenant (or the monsters he sent after her), and calling him out for his use of violence as a first, second, and last resort. Honestly, it’s good to see Dean put in his place over his shitty treatment of Kaia, especially since Dean is all too willing to “break” Killer Kaia and torture her for Intel.

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Back in the bunker, Jack isn’t willing to believe his first human friend is dead and is understandably upset about not being able to help her when he gets a sudden inspiration and asks to see the witch’s body. Turns out the witch and Laura have matching necklaces and Jack thinks they’re linked. He thinks that as long as the bullet is in the body, the necklace will try to heal the wound thereby sucking the life out of Laura. He smashes the necklace and whaddya know, Laura is a-okay!

Meanwhile, Dean’s super legit and above board interrogation is interrupted by some pesky monster who give no fucks about silver! We get a quick flashback to Michael offering Killer Kaia a sweet deal to be on his team, as well as her turning him down, inciting the grumpies from the archangel. In the cabin, there is a fight, and it’s the typical “Ooooo who will win?!” fight we always see with the Winchesters. Eventually, they gain the upper hand, and with the help of a now free Killer Kaia and her Killer Kaia Spear, are more or less safe, with the understanding that shit ain’t over yet. When the boys say goodbye to Jody, we get another tiny glimpse into the show that could have been in a poignant moment in which she tells them how hard it is to raise three hunters, knowing they could die any day. Ugh, I want this show. They part ways and I’m already missing Jody.

Back at the bunker, Cas is helping Jack through is first heartache as well as his first, well, everything. Cas tells Jack how proud he is of him and says that while he may need more training, Jack’s got the mind and heart of a hunter already (aww). Cas is talking about going on a father/son hunting trip while on the road Dean admits to Sam that his time with Michael wasn’t just “a blink”. While he couldn’t see what Michael was doing, the whole time he was possessed, he was actually drowning. Dean feels responsible for everything Michael did, and we all know that stories that feature a guilt-ridden Dean always turn out well…

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Oh, and Jack is coughing up blood, so that’s fine. Everything’s fine.

I can’t lie, I’m just ready for TFW 2.0 to get back together in good health and hunt some goddamn monsters.