© Channel 5

I haven’t seen Friday’s episode, and judging from the teaser I can see there might be a fairly big plot coming up. So I’m not ignoring it, I just haven’t seen it yet. Anyway, here are a few thoughts on everything else that went on in Erinsborough last week.

Terese Nearly Cancelled

Due to Tim Collins hanging around and generally being a sly git, Terese gets called out on her previous comments about Australia Day, and accused of being a hypocrite after saying Lassiters will not be celebrating it. Nobody wants Terese to get cancelled, because she’s fabulous, and luckily she has a very non-Karen reaction to the whole thing. She films a video where she takes responsibility for her past comments, apologises, expresses support for the Change the Date campaign and promises to do better. I will applaud her for all that, but I’m not sure that immediately playing the video to Jacinta was the best look. I totally understand that the purpose of it was to get some resolution on the storyline, but it smacked a little of a white person wanting praise from a person of colour for doing the bare minimum, which made me do the cringey gritted teeth emoji face.

Brent is Back

Brent is back, which I am finding it difficult to care all that much about, on account of him being such a two-dimensional troubled teen character. If he hangs around, no doubt he will go through the Neighbours Normalisation Process™ and gradually get less aggro. He also has the most late 90s hair that really needs sorting out as well. The thing that amused me the most about this whole storyline, and I admit that this is kind of a left-field thing to take away from it, was how he was discovered. Every time Jane was in the garden there was a mysterious wind, and eventually she got the feeling that someone was hiding in the Doug Out, or whatever it’s called. What on earth was Brent doing in there to cause the mysterious wind? Was he dancing around like Kate Bush in there? Or is he just an incredibly heavy breather?

Presumably he doesn’t generate the wind whilst sleeping? Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

Amy and Yashvi are Best Buds Now

Amy has been at war with most of the Rebecchi clan, aside from her old buddy Toadie and Shane, and things are more than a little bit awkward. One of the things that I’m sure is contributing to the awkwardness is her calling Shane “babe” all the time in front of everyone, including his kids. Eww. There was an incredibly uncomfortable exchange between Toadie, Amy, Shane, Yashvi and Ned at the Waterhole after Amy had taken Shane zipwiring, and we need to stop and acknowledge dear sweet Ned’s attempt to lighten the mood by announcing that he’d always wanted to swim with dolphins. Bless him.

Anyway, Shane guilts Yashvi into spending the day with Amy, they talk about football and within the space of an afternoon they’re best friends. I’ve got to admit, I’m going slightly the other way now. I was all in favour of Amy when she first returned but now she’s grating on my nerves a bit. I think it might be time to send Fashion Designer Barbie packing.

Erinsborough High Now Has Three Whole Teachers

We haven’t seen hide nor hair of smelly Wayne or Marty Muggleton at Erinsborough High recently, so the fact that they’ve hired a new teacher should lighten Susan and Jane’s workload considerably. The new teacher is called Curtis, played by deaf actor Nathan Borg, and so far he seems like he’s a delight. He immediately tries to help poor Hendrix, who is having a tough time since he returned to school to repeat his final year. I think it’s great to have a deaf cast member, although Jane telling him she thought he was “very brave”, while said with good intentions, made me do the cringey gritted teeth emoji face again.

Good luck with that one, Curtis. Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

Curtis is going to have his work cut out for him if he wants to try to help Hendrix, because later on he has an absolute meltdown after finding the word “loser” written on his locker. His tantrum was absolutely spectacular, the bin kick being my personal highlight. Honestly, Benny Turland is a treasure, and I am already in mourning in preparation for the day when he leaves Erinsborough to go and “do a Margot Robbie” over in Hollywood.

Paul and Nicolette are at War

Paul and Nicolette are both deeply unpleasant, but it’s been fun to see them at war with each other. Paul may well have finally met his match. Nicolette’s super innocent smiles whenever she’s being an utter snake have been giving me life this week, and I love how she gets under his skin. He deserves it after the utter disregard he has shown for Brent, an actual human he found sleeping under a bush. How about showing a little bit of compassion for a young person without a home, rather than openly saying you don’t care what happens to them, eh Paul? Just an idea. And here’s another idea for Paul: get in the bin.

Toadie’s Tinder Terror

The comedy plot of the week was poor, unsuspecting Toadie ending up on a date with resident sea lion in a kaftan, Melanie Pearson. Melanie lied about her age on Tinder, tricking Toadie into going on a date with her. Thus followed one of the more excruciating first dates we’ve ever witnessed on Neighbours, as she unleashed her distinctive laugh, mentioned Toadie’s dead wife (using those exact words) and seemed alarmingly over keen by texting him about five seconds after the date ended. Run, Toadie. Run and don’t look back.