It’s been quite the year on Ramsay Street, so I thought I’d round it up in the form of giving out a few awards to some of Erinsborough’s finest residents.
Scandal of the Year
And no, it isn’t Karl’s facial hair. There really is only one option for the winner of this one, and that’s Dipi and Pierce’s affair. It took me a while to spot that it was looming on the horizon, and I really did not buy them as a couple at first, but it ended up being one of the most enjoyable storylines of the year. An affair is what soaps do best, and Neighbours managed to pull it off even despite the Covid-19 filming restrictions that meant the actors were not allowed to make physical contact with each other, which is no mean feat. The restrictions didn’t stop it from being quite steamy either – we saw so much of Sharon Johal’s cleavage that I thought it was going to start being credited in the titles.
It was a close-run thing for this award – do I give it to Kyle, for managing to dislocate his kneecap by being involved in the world’s slowest car accident, when Terese hit him with Bea’s van, or do I instead give it to Kyle, for getting burnt in a kerfuffle involving a barbecue and a grown man dressed as a gnome? The winner is – and this will come as no surprise – Kyle! Honestly the barbecue/gnome inferno was one of the highlights of 2020, and I don’t just mean on Neighbours, I mean it was a high point in general, although let’s face it that’s a pretty low bar this year. But I will forever be grateful for the image of Clive dressed as a gnome.
Most Ridiculous Death
There were a fair few ridiculous deaths in Erinsborough this year. Poor Gary got skewered by a crossbow bolt, like a piece of his gourmet kangaroo meat at the tram. Finn himself had a fairly anticlimactic and stupid death, tripping into the grave he’d just dug and slowly drowning in muddy water, which was a slight let down after he’d just set an entire island on fire. I kind of wanted something a little bit more elaborate for him. But the award really has to go to Prue, who went up like a Catherine wheel on Bonfire Night after her wedding gift turned out to be a bomb. At least we can be fairly certain we won’t be seeing Prue again or hearing whatever that bizarre accent was that Denise Van Outen inexplicably settled on for her.
It was a close-run thing between Andrea getting captured and the school siege that lasted approximately ten minutes, but I’ve really got to go with the school siege. The whole drugs storyline had been building up for what felt like months, only for it all to be over quicker than you could say “taser”, as Yashvi single-handedly brought down Dax with one kick, while the rest of Erinsborough police sat outside and did nothing. Meanwhile, Dipi raced to the school to find her police officer daughter (who was just doing the job she’s paid and trained to do), presumably to bring her a round of jam sandwiches or something. On the whole, a bit underwhelming.
Worst at Making Decisions
The winner of this one has won it by such a clear margin that I’ve actually decided to name an annual award in her honour, so the winner of the inaugural Elly Conway Worst at Making Decisions Award obviously goes to… Elly Conway. Whether it’s deciding to take a baby on a camping holiday to a remote island, hiring Toadie as her lawyer, or impulsively moving to Switzerland with the world’s most boring man – Elly has literally never made a good decision, so it is only fitting that this award be named after her. I’m certain there won’t be a shortage of potential recipients in 2021 either… my money is on Ned.
Fashion Faux Pas of the Year
There are always some strange fashion choices in Erinsborough, and this year has been no exception. There were Scarlett’s Barbie pink outfits, Shane’s crisis chic, and Nicolette’s insistence on only wearing things that are a minimum of 50% transparent. But the winner can only be Karl and his post-Switzerland facial hair. It’s just awful and I want it to stop.
Villain of the Year
This was a tough one, as we’ve had a few villains in 2020. Finn would be the obvious choice, after his murderous rampage on the island which left several people trapped down a mine, an unconscious Toadie floating out to sea, and Gary on the wrong end of a crossbow bolt. Or there’s Claudia, Finn’s dastardly mum, who did her best to try to frame Elly for killing Finn in order to get custody of her grandchild. And what about Scarlett, with her weird portrait-based revenge plot? With Paul always being on hand to meddle in his family’s lives, blackmail people, and generally act like a sociopath as well, I’m kind of spoilt for choice.
But, after some careful consideration, the award goes to… Channel 5. That’s right. It might be home to our favourite soap, but Channel 5’s bonkers decisions have left us trailing behind our Australian friends, and we are not happy about it. Here’s hoping they can sort it out in 2021.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone who takes the time to read my ramblings!