Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

I’m yet again writing this before I’ve seen Friday’s episode, because life is annoying and gets in the way. Here’s the recap for most of last week’s UK episodes, and I’m going admit that I was struggling to find a lot to say about last week because outside of Shane’s drama it felt like not very much happened.

Shane and Dipi Are About to Have the Worst Party Ever

I’ve been to a grand total of two anniversary parties in my entire life, and they were both for 50 years, which is an achievement definitely worthy of a party. I’m not sure I could be bothered to go to the effort of putting my shoes on to attend a 20th anniversary though, and yet Mackenzie is making such a big deal out of Shane and Dipi’s that she’s throwing a surprise party and hiring a cabaret performer for it. Everyone’s going all-out for this anniversary – Sheila’s even made some emu egg quiches. But the party is sure to be a giant disaster (as is usually the case in Erinsborough) because instead of getting ready to travel back home from a break at Stoney’s house in Colac, which is what everyone thinks Shane is doing, he is actually sweating on a camp bed in an outhouse in Bourke while he goes through speed withdrawal. There’s even an emu outside, but not a single emu egg quiche in sight. Thankfully, Roxy has finally come clean and told Kyle and Toadie what’s going on with Shane, so Toadie takes a break from answering his many female admirers on social media to go to his brother’s aid. The fallout from this one is not going to be pretty.

Toadie Goes to Help Shane. Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

Paul is Being Awful Again

Paul’s had a week or so off from being awful, but he got back into the swing of things again last week by backpedaling on the agreement he made about the art collective, or whatever it’s supposed to be, that Ned is creating at the backpackers. Now, Ned should have got the details in writing straight away (this is Paul after all), but it’s a really low move from Paul to do the dirty on someone who lives in his house. That’s going to make mealtimes a little bit awkward, surely? He really doesn’t have any qualms about who he tries to do over, does he? He just enjoys being the worst he can possibly be at all times. More fool Ned for continuing to live with someone who makes no effort to hide his utter disdain for everything he does though.

Ned Sends Nudes

Speaking of Ned, I was under the impression that when he sat on the cake the other week that he’d done so with a naked bum, but apparently not – he divulged to Kyle that he was wearing pants, which makes the fact that Sheila and Terese ate the cake slightly less nauseating. But after accidentally publishing a photo where his bum was on show, because like a budgie he has no concept of how mirrors work, Ned has now graduated to getting his kit fully off. He gets a Fandangle request for a nude photo, and the fee is enough to help him enter some life changing art competition that we’ve only just heard of, but that he literally will not stop going on about. There’s no way this is going to end well. 

Nicolette is Still the Worst

You can’t help who you’re attracted to, but you can stop yourself from trying to cause problems in said person’s marriage while being absolutely awful to their teenage stepson. Seriously, are we supposed to be even vaguely sympathetic towards Nicolette, or is she a full-on villain? Because I do not like her one bit, she’s so selfish and spiteful. Yuck. I do have to give her a tiny bit of credit for getting Pierce to run around the hotel complex in his dressing gown and a face mask though. I bet the staff at Lassiters got some mileage out of seeing their boss in that state, and Paul certainly enjoyed it. Actually Paul and Nicolette would be a great baddie double act, if the writers can figure out a way for the two of them to combine their evil powers together for some reason.

Pierce goes for a quick run in his dressing gown. Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

The Word “Buddy” Sees a 400% Downturn in Useage After Emmett Leaves

I’ve nothing against the kid, but I am so glad I don’t have to hear Aaron calling him “buddy” and talking to him like he’s four years old any more.