Well…Rosie and Wayne broke up and Wayne and Tanis get together. They go to a wedding together as well Katy in a cute little black dress, Squirrelly Dan in his plaid and Daryl in his Dad suit. The two gays are getting married. During their reception they were condescendingly horny and gay as ever. The Citiots are insufferable. Unfortunately Wayne and Katy and clan don’t fight at weddings. They figure out a way around it.
The Hockey player’s team folded so they have three choices. Hang up their skates, go to the next town over and play for them or coach a women’s hockey team with their old coach. Found out Wayne doesn’t like it when girls spit. The Skids found out about the dark web. The whisper the words dark web. Wayne and Tanis are giving it the ol’ college try which is definitely funny.
Modeans 2 burnt down. The Junior soccer team is changing their name from Chiefs to something else and the Hard Right has a problem with that. Jay is looking for people to join the Hard Right. So far he has asked the Skids and Hicks. Next is the Hockey players and then the Natives. Stewart is completely addicted to the dark web and almost fake kills the guy in control of it. Once Stewart gets it Roald gives the dude with the dark web a bunch of meth. The Hard Right end up getting their asses kicked.
Katy is in a spelling bee. She was reigning nine year champ and Stewart beat her last year and Wayne, Daryl and Squirrelly Dan make a pact to help Katy win this year. Apparently Reilly and Jonesy are in the spelling bee too. So is McMurray and Joint Boy. McMurray mutters and Jonesy and Reilly get to help each other. During the intermission, Dan and Daryl talk to Dickins about Reilly and Jonesy and Tanis talks about McMurray. Joint Boy runs out of weed and is disqualified for spelling his word wrong once the bee starts again. Reilly and Jonesy are quickly disqualified also. McMurray tries to cheat yet again by mumbling but Tanis catches it on tape. Katy spells her word and is told it is wrong so when Stewart spells the same word but wrong, they think he’s won. Tanis however catches it on tape and reveals that he spelled it wrong and that it was spelled wrong on the screen. Katy wins her tenth bee!
The Shamrockettes, the team Reilly and Jonesy coach for, have two girls Mary-Anne and Betty-Anne, giving each other a hard time because of a guy. Shoresy to be specific. Reilly and Jonesy go to Shoresy to get him to help which talking to Shoresy is always a bad idea. They end up telling the girls lies to get them to pull together. Glen, Katy, Gae and the Skids pull an intervention for Stewart. Oh my Goddess! Shoresy skating in this is the best. I mean it’s absolutely hysterical! The Shamrockettes win back to back to back ships!
There’s a buck and doe in Quebec that the entire Hick band is invited to help Wayne’s French friends deal with the Degens local to Quebec. Wayne can speak French. So Wayne, Katy, Squirrelly Dan, Daryl, McMurray, Joint Boy, Tyson, Reilly and Jonesy are all going to have a scrap and they are all fired up for it. After a misunderstanding about TD Bank they all go kick some ass. Then proceed to get hammered. The bride to be takes off her ring after breaking up with the groom. Oh did I mention that the bride to be is Daryl old flame? Yep. Wayne falls in love I think.
It’s Christmas Eve in Letterkenny. They are keeping the drink classy til midnight when everyone downs three shots for the three wise men. Bonnie got the first gift and offered to Wayne to be his helper elf. At first he declines on the account that he isn’t Santa. He asks for her help after all after the coach. It’s hysterical the reactions to Wayne’s gifts. Bonnie helps by taking pictures and keeping that rig rolling. Midnight hits and the shots begin. American whiskey, Irish whiskey and Canadian rye whiskey these are the three shots for the three wise mean taken separately but in quick succession. Then they all have a spit.
Best Lines From Season 5
So we cave to spruce up our look? No, You gotta Bruce up your look.
As sure as Grandma’s got gout, if I hear one fucking heckle, I will staple your tongue to your taint so you can watch me kick your ass.
Get Reilly and Jonesy on Dickins’s radar. Some buttfuckery going on there.
Give your balls a tug tit fucker!
Better to be looking at it than for it eh?
Your breath is an existential crisis.