Well, the humans have done it, they are on a train headed straight for the actual Bad Place! With Michael as their guide, they’re hoping to get to the portal to the neutral place where the all knowing judge resides, convince him to hear their case & grant them stay in the actual Good Place.
On the train, they change their outfits and pick out their alter egos so that they can blend in.
- Tahani is Rhonda, who works in the hot dog torture department
- Jason is Jake Jortles (like Blake Bortles) who specializes in Molotov cocktails
- Eleanor is Diana
- Chidi is Trent, someone who is constantly nauseous BECAUSE LYING IS IMMORAL AND HE CAN’T PLAY THIS GAME
- & Janet is luggage (yay!)
The portal is reserved for high ranking members of TBP who have the Bad Place pin so Michael stashes the humans, & Janet, in the Museum Of Human Misery’s Hall of Low-Grade Crappiness while he goes to his boss and asks for more.
When he gets to Sean’s office, he Axes up (with a spray that smells like Transformers movies feel – loud & confusing) and launches into his story about how he & his associates need to get to the judge & obtain extradition papers to get the bozos from Mindy Sinclair’s house but Sean has other plans. He’s a naughty bitch who lives for the drama so he’s sent a swat team to the Medium Place to extract the humans. Michael and his colleagues all watch from the War Room as the heavily armed demons get to Mindy’s place and find Mindy, cocaine, & Derek – no one else.
Luckily Sean, a 45 year old white man, can only fail up so this is simply a minor bump in the road. That is until Michael uses the hullaballoo to grab 4 jackets from the coat hanger & start running.
In the meantime, the humans are hanging out in the museum & absorbing demon culture, looking at exhibits of humans being ~the worst~ including but not limited to:
- the first man to send an unsolicited dick pic
- the first person to floss in an open office
- the first waiter to make a “I guess you hated it” joke
- the first man to say “well, actually” to a woman
- first white dude to wear dreads & call ultimate frisbee ultimate
Because nothing can ever go right for too long, actual demons start pouring in for a party! Now our dudes are stuck having to mingle with demons and have to sell their identities convincingly. Tahani is THE BEST at this (she name drops Johnny Depp for teaching her to say “no, your whole thing isn’t exhausting”) and she & Eleanor basically coast through conversations with randos. Jason & Chidi have a harder time because Kristen Bell’s IRL husband, Dax Shepard, thinks Chidi is a master-torturer he used to know. Jason helps distract him and his buddies from the Toxic Masculinity division while Eleanor gives Chidi a crash course in situational ethics and makes him feel okay-ish about lying.
Good Janet, pretending to be Bad Janet, find out that this party is for the unveiling of a new museum exhibit ABOUT THE HUMANS! The first neighbourhood of it’s kind is being immortalized and she needs to get the bozos out of there before anyone notices them! Unfortunately they ask too many questions and don’t move fast enough, so the exhibit opens while they’re in the room. They are faced with an animatronic version of themselves, reflecting their worst faults back at them. It almost goes smoothly but then the demons they had been talking to start recognizing them and Jake throws a molotov cocktail to distract everyone and get them out of there. (On earth, whenever he had a problem, he would throw a molotov cocktail, causing him to immediately have a different problem.)
They’re running towards the portal with Michael & Janet and being chased by like ALL the demons. They get to the portal and Tahani, Jason, & Chidi hop on through. When it gets to be Eleanor’s turn, Michael doesn’t have an extra pin to give her so he SACRIFICES HIMSELF! GUYS! Michael the DEMON gives his pin to Eleanor so she can get to the judge and lets himself get caught – basically causing the Trolley Problem & breaking everyone’s heart all at once.