Superstore - Health Fund - The Game of Nerds

Michael Yarish / NBC

The Cloud 9 employees try to put together a group health fund but it turns into a full on pyramid scheme, we learn about everyone’s weird health issues, including Dina’s almost cancer and Glenn’s penile growth.

Mateo has an ear infection but he can’t afford to get it treated because the company’s insurance deductible is through the roof. Everyone tries to give him weird remedies, like root beer and Vicks vapo rub and Windex (hehe guys my Big Fat Greek Wedding joke). Amy also sets up a tip jar to raise money for Mateo’s antibiotics.

Michael Yarish / NBC

Jonah (with Amy’s help of course) decides that it could be a good idea to set aside a little money every month, so that there’s an emergency fund for the employees. Everyone jumps on board with this and gives him the 20$ he needs. But, because health care is so ridiculously expensive, the money they have doesn’t go far at all when applied to all the real health problems everyone has and all the treatments they need.

The gang tries to come up with some plan together, adding levels and different prices based on pre-existing conditions and in the end the whole thing falls apart. Meanwhile the jar that Amy set up though? It raised enough money to get Mateo his antibiotics, but he’s gonna use it to buy a trench coat maybe.

Michael Yarish / NBC

This episode also confirms that the pharmacist is shady AF. He treats one employees cuts with superglue (the worst idea ever perhaps) and pulls out a Ziploc from under his work-space with a bunch of missorted pills when Mateo asks for some antibiotics on the down-low. In that bag of pills, there was something that looked like candy but could’ve been oxycodone and he just took it! It was definitely oxy & I’m very worried about his patients.

In other health related news, Glenn is worried about a growth on his penis but he can’t make a dermatologist appointment fast enough so he turns to Dina, who recently had a benign tumor removed and has her dermatologists personal cell phone number. They do a whole song and dance where Glenn tries to describe it and draw it but those results are inconclusive so he ends up having to show Dina. If you watch nothing else this week, find this episode and fast forward to this scene to watch Glenn choose which pen Dina can lift his penis with because it shouldn’t be that funny but it is.