Chapter Sixty-Five

Oh Rafael, how I’ve missed you. (Photo Source: The CW)

Because of the sheer volume of crazy plot lines happening all at once on Jane The Virgin, it can be hard to keep up. And after a 4 month hiatus, I think even the most loyal viewer’s (me) brain can be feeling kind of foggy.

We pick up directly after XoRo’s fairytale wedding. Jane has run into her first love Adam, who seems to turn her into a puddle of giggly lust. They go out to the beach and decide to go skinny dipping. Until Mateo thinks his mommy is in danger (prompted by a snooping Alba and Xo) and he runs after her.

In a style of storytelling that was supposed to be amusing but just ended up being annoying, we flip flopped back and forth during the hour between “Jane’s telenovela” and “Adam’s Telenovela”, which is told by a sultry sounding lady and has a comic book theme. We also found out that Jane’s love theme was written by Adam…does that mean that Adam is her true love? Or is he just her first?

I know what you’re thinking…didn’t Jane have glowing heart feelings for Rafael at the end of last season? YES. SHE DID. But, for some reason, Rafael does seem to be over Jane and totally into Petra. Good for them I guess, but you all know I’m team Jafael til I die so this premiere was hard for me. Because Jane’s ego was bruised by Raf (who’s now “poor” and living with her), they got into a huge fight over…you guessed it…money, and now they’re barely even communicating. Jane was “happy” about the fight because it helped her “get over” her feelings for him, but Alba knew better. We all do…gurl, the line between love and “hate” is very thin. Y’all got some serious heat and passion radiating between you. We’ll see how long Adam lasts…I’m still banking on Jafael as endgame.

Elsewhere, stupid but persistent (like a cockroach) Anezka’s plan to kill Petra failed and they both landed in the water. Petra got out first and was able to trick Luisa for a while. Acting as Anezka (who was acting as Petra…I know, it’s hard), Petra put together a fake cash offer (from her and Rafael) for the Marbella. It seemed like it was all going to work too, until Anezka reappeared (I told you, cockroach) from the sea mad as hell. we don’t know what’s going to happen next, but we can assume it’s not going to be good for Petra. And Luisa is working from the outside to help Rose get out of prison, so once she gets out everyone will be in danger again. (Is anyone else getting sick of the Sin Rosetro storyline?)

In XoRo land, our favorite newlyweds couldn’t actually go on their honeymoon because of Rogelio’s baby drama with Darci. She was trying to push him out of their co-parenting contact while he tried to weasel himself further in. When it seemed like all would be lost for these two, Xiomara encouraged Rogelio to be cordial for the sake of his unborn child. As he went over to Darci to apologize, she went into labor!

And just like that, a new adventure begins! What craziness can we expect this season?!