Diana has to deal with a gross masturbating teenager, Liza babysits for the dude she wants to bone, Josh continues his quest to sleep with all of Brooklyn, Maggie murders some chickens & Kelsey is also there.
Let’s first talk about the #TeamCharles angst because boy is it angsty! Everyone is reading Charles’s ex-wife’s novel & they’re all really engrossed by page 58, which likely includes anal. Charles is trying to decide what he wants to do about the book, and early on in the episode it looks like he wants to get lawyers involved and serve Pauline with a cease & desist letter. Liza encourages him to talk to her first, gives them a restaurant suggestion and volunteers to babysit their kids. She LITERALLY throws Charles and his ex at each other because she’s a “good person” whose “emotionally mature” blablabla ew.
The dinner between exes goes so well off camera that Charles comes back super late and basically throws Liza into a car and sends her home. Because he’s a swoon-worthy gentleman though, he does apologize for his curt behaviour. He explains that he just shuts down when things get too emotional and complicated, Liza says it’s okay, that she knows this about him because she ~knows~ him. Charles is visibly touched and these two need to get it on already because their pants are clearly on fire.
We also learn that at dinner, Charles agreed to publish the book, which Pauline wanted to be a Millennial book edited exclusively by Liza. I feel like there should be a rule where you’re not allowed to edit your boss’s ex’s book about their sexcapades, but I don’t work in publishing. Liza has dinner with Pauline to start work on the book and she learns that Pauline is still in love with Charles and is hoping that this book brings them back together. When she tells her boo that this book is basically Eat Pray Win Your Husband Back he reassures her that she’s in the past and that Liza is his future (I’m paraphrasing but that’s the gist of it that’s how sexy it was.)
In other news, Josh & Kelsey try to set each other up at the bar (Tinder IRL!) and they fail miserably (because they love each other and don’t want to bring other people in) but then Liza starts talking Josh up to the Irish(?) bartender who then starts to fall for him (the man cooks his own dog treats and takes them to the pound on his birthday – who WOULDN’T love that). They spend the whole night together walking around Brooklyn and talking – and she seems totally normal so I’m not mad at it for now.
In other other news, Liza & Maggie’s new neighbours own a farm to table restaurant and their farm is actually on the roof of the building. They invite the girls over to the restaurant and give them the royal treatment as “guests” but then stick them with a 500$ bill – so Maggie calls animal services on them and pretends to murder and cook their chickens because she’s awesome.
Lastly, poor Diana has to find a fleshlight in her couch cushions and touch it and discover what it is and get grossed out and be so traumatized all because Richard invited his grown-ass College aged son to stay at Diana’s while he’s on break from school (he’s dropping out and being stupid and also doesn’t know Middlemarch so he can’t be trusted).
Tune in tonight on TVLand to see if Charles and Liza finally recreate page 58 IRL or if they just keep circling each other. Will her age ever come up? WILL SHE EVER TELL CHARLES?! So many questions, so little time.