Last week, Mindy went to Texas, Peter used Grey’s Anatomy to lie to Lauren, Lauren is still terrible & the genius landscaper was so smooth he made Mindy curse for the first time!
We start of at the office after a very good week for Mindy, baby delivery wise. Morgan even attempts to “dab” in celebration but I, like Mindy, still don’t understand that. As Morgan is kissing ass, Peter calls and Mindy shoos him away to take it. Peter is going on and on about how excited he is about that night and Mindy assumes it’s because he made a bong out of a pumpkin (not untrue) but he reminds her that she booked a five day trip to Texas the last time he was in New York and she was wasted on margaritas.
Before she can go to Texas, she has to drop Leo off at Danny’s (who dat?). Instead of Olga, Danny’s new girlfriend (Eliza) opens the door because he got this new olive oil shampoo from Italy & “you know Danny” to which Mindy mumbles “better than you” SUCK IT ELIZA! So anyway, Eliza is sort of a dick and basically shuts the door in Mindy’s face. Mindy parts by loudly saying “nothing can replace a mothers love” and I’m assuming Leo is thinking “duh mommy this lady is weird she wants me to talk to squirrels.”
Why is it so hard to find one single, sane, rich, hot, cunnilingus addict in New York City?! This is what Mindy is asking Peter as he’s giving her the tour of the house and all the fancy furniture she’s not allowed to sit on in the formal living room. Peter, now a very perceptive person, knows this all has to do with Eliza, who is all over Danny’s “Facebook” page. Peter tells her to forget about Danny, there are plenty of dudes in Texas (as Lauren keeps reminding him). She likes the idea of “Under The Tuscan Sun”-ing a handsome ranch hand who becomes obsessed with her and her big city sophistication [she says all this as she pulls MULTIPLE chicken nuggets out of the pockets of her designer skirt.]
Next up, they’re al having dinner together and I’m pretty sure Tracey Wigfield pissed off the makeup artist because Lauren’s blush is on a new terrible level. TIME OUT SIDE NOTE I’m rewatching this episode on the CityTV app and there are ads literally every 3 minutes & I’m going to flip my sh*t. Mindy asks Peter about his new job & Lauren chimes in with how dramatic everyone is, like Meredith & Derek. JUST LIKE ON GREY’S ANATOMY, says Mindy, and Peter shuts her up by asking about Morgan (he fell into a pothole but the city is suing him, of course).
Mindy has to “share a room with a straight up dino” aka the lizard thingy named Martin. Lauren proceeds to confide in her about how Peter has been acting weird and she wants Mindy to find out what’s going down.
The next morning, Mindy walks out onto the deck and sees hot Diego. HOT GUY MUSIC PLAYS! It’s g l o r i o u s ! Rosa, Henry’s nanny, tells her that Lauren wouldn’t like her messing around with Diego, then Mindy wants breakfast but Rosa isn’t her nanny so obviously she hasn’t made anything, then Mindy says she’ll go watch TV but Rosa informs her there are no TV’s in the house and then shit gets ugly so she races out of the kitchen.
Later, as she’s strolling through the succulent garden (the path IS wide enough, Lauren) she stops to take a photo of a cactus but the other cactus attacks her and then the first cactus also tries to get at her and she falls out of frame oh so gracefully. My greatest fear is to be pricked by a cactus so I would have been much more loud and dramatic about the whole thing teehee.
Mindy then heads to her room to hang out with Martin and cyber-stalk Danny while promoting this weird Microsoft tablet. Then, for some reason, she changes into a Garfield tshirt and shorts and heads to the pool with a popsicle to hit on Diego – or maybe she has a legit reason to be there? Naah probably just Diego. Long story short, a bee sits on her double D’s and she panics and falls into the pool (which she can stand in, so she’s fine). Hot Diego pulls her out while making labor noises, she tries to kiss him, calls him the pool-boy, offends him, he storms off, and she falls back in the pool again, this time, not able to save the popsicle.
Mindy pulls herself out of the pool and goes to Rosa who proceeds to yell at her for leaving the popsicles out and strongly suggests that Mindy walks to the store to get them for Henry because they’re his treat – also Mr. Peter likes hot pockets so get those too.
In a true moment of NBC Universal synergy, Mindy heads to a Cloud 9 superstore. She spots Peter in the electronics section just chilling out and watching TV. He’s also friends with everyone but he pretends to not know them and hurts their feelings lolz. He tells Mindy that his job sucked and his favourite thing to do was hang out with Henry so after a few sicks days and a sick week, he sent them his faked obituary and now he hangs out at Cloud 9 all day and uses plots from Grey’s Anatomy to lie when Lauren asks him about his day. COUGH COUGH DANIEL CASTELLANO (who?) THIS IS HOW YOU HANDLE YOUR WEIRD FEELINGS ABOUT WANTING TO BE WITH YOUR BABY.
They go home and Peter promises to come clean but before they ca do that, Lauren storms out to yell at Mindy for sexually harassing Hot Diego. Turns out, he’s not a pool boy but the ultimate water feature designer in Texas – he even won a McArthur genius grant for a hot tub he did in Santa Fe (WAS IT JOSH’S?!) Mindy wants Peter to come clean in that moment so that Lauren will be less mad at her but instead Peter uses another season 1 GA plot to distract Lauren.
In her room, Mindy is talking to Martin when Lauren comes in, hands her an apology that she’s pre-written for her to say to Diego and tells her to wear something nice. Mindy certainly listens to that last part, showing up to dinner in a gorgeous floral print dress with amazing earrings. She give a heartfelt apology to Diego and confesses that she’s been feeling weird about Danny and the new girl. Diego relates to this struggle, having an ex-wife like Danny and forgives. Lauren then changes the subject back to Peter’s work but I guess Yale didn’t teach Diego to pick up on context clues because he blurts out that those are Grey’s storylines — he’s a real Shondahead — and blows Peter’s cover. Diego reads the room well now and bounces out of there, and Lauren kicks Mindy out so she can yell to her maximum potential. Mindy calls them the worst hosts ever on her way out – and that’s saying something because her German host family tried to cook her in a stew (it wasn’t a bath!)
As she’s walking along the side of the road and being terrified of being killed before she can catch up on all her shows, Diego pulls up and offers her a ride. They bond over their exes and their kids and how hard it is to deal with all those feelings and not feel guilty about the mess you caused. Peter then calls and needs Mindy back because Lauren locked herself in their room. Hot Diego turns the car around and brings Mindy back. As she’s talking to Lauren, she realizes that the water fixture is actually a metaphor for a baby. She’s a great OBGYN but an even better detective (frankly she’s good at everything). Peter is super excited about this baby and reacts positively and they kiss and makeup – too well some might say. COUGH COUGH DR. C
Mindy seems to have misplaced Martin but she finds Diego in the entryway, waiting to make sure everything is okay. He invites her to his place for er-ee-er-ee-er but she makes the adult decision and turns him down to spend time with her loved ones aka Peter. She says that he’s great and he should let her know if he ever comes to New York. In the smoothest move OF ALL TIME, he says that he does’t love big cities so if he ever does come to NYC they probably shouldn’t leave her apartment. Peter sticks his head back in: “I’d have sex with that guy” and Mindy concludes with: “that shit was hot!”
THAT EPISODE WAS HOT! Jokes on fleek and hot guy music on fleek and Superstore cameo on fleek and minimal baby times on fleek and physical comedy on fleek – love it – give me more classic Mindy