Hey guys! I missed you last week, Like, mostly I missed having a new episode of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend to watch – but also I missed you! If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably watched this episode 5 times, and if you haven’t…yeah me either looks away. Anyways, let’s recap this ish before a brand new episode airs later tonight!
THE KISS! The last thing that we saw was that amazing kiss between Rebecca & Josh, along with Paula’s excited face and Greg’s heartbroken face. We thankfully pick up right after the kiss, with Rebecca & Josh driving in their respective cars and reacting very differently to the whole thing.
Becks is in excited giggle mode so she goes to Paula, and Josh is super stressed out so he visits Father Brah, naturally. Paula wants to celebrate with some expired sparkling apple cider that’s “probably alcohol by now” and pat herself on the back a little for the amazing advice that lead #Joshbecca to this first kiss. Dr. Akopian also calls, turns out Rebecca STILL hasn’t scheduled an appointment. She cancels though and justifies it with my favourite moment of this episode, the gif above. Because things seem to not be going terribly for Bunch, we turn to Josh who, after the kiss happened, got nervous and bailed. Father Brah gives some pretty decent advice about coming clean and asking for forgiveness considering he was stoned out of his mind.
Rebecca promises Paula to not contact Josh and goes home. In her adorable sushi pyjamas, she’s having an internal struggle over a picture of a red panda when Josh SHOWS UP AT HER DOOR! In one of the shows hottest moments, he says “I shouldn’t have grabbed you and squeezed you and stroked your hair” but stops talking as Rebecca & I beg him to keep going. Josh wants to come clean to Valencia even though she’ll probably break up with him. He also mentions his very specific flight to Hawaii because sure, people do that.
We go to the office where Paula, queen of romantic comedies, convinces Rebecca to buy a ticket on Josh’s flight to Hawaii, presumably so they can join the mile high club. So Rebecca goes into her office and Paula goes into the conference room for a staff meeting.
We quicky cut to Josh being weird around Valencia and telling her they need to have a serious talk the next day – while I would be worried at a statement like that, she seems to think it’ll be a more exciting surprise.
Back to the staff meeting which is pretty much iconic. This is not your typical boring meeting, it’s full of 80′s music and colours and the bi flag because Darryl is coming out to everyone WITH A MUSICAL NUMBER! Including truth bombs like “I don’t have the gotta choose blues” and “bi’s legit!”
Everyone is like okay cool Darryl whatever, and moves on to an article in the paper about Rebecca. When Paula goes to tell her about it, she’s just staring at her computer looking puzzled. Apparently, homegirl hasn’t checked her bank balance since 2011 and never bothered to save money and her financial situation is now “negative a lot.” Now she realizes she can’t go to Hawaii or even buy skittles! While she’s panicking about all this, the mayor shows up and wants to give her the key to the city, which unfortunately does not come with a cash prize.
Greg and Chris are talking about Rebecca and Greg, who was heartbroken by that kiss last week, plays it cool like he doesn’t care. Heather comes in and they try to be cool around each other, giving us the coolest “hey dude” “sup girl” moment ever between exes. Do Chris’ parents know where he is all the time? Do they care? Eh who cares it’s he’s a child I’m not invested in children.
Rebecca IS STILL panicking because she has no money, she doesn’t even know how much she makes at the firm and now her leased car is being repossessed. You’d think a Harvard & Yale educated person would know a lease means you don’t own your car but it just goes to further show how she was just going through the motions, not paying attention and thinking maybe I’ll be happy after the next step (there’s also the privilege of her situation, of course.)
Heather is being the BEST bartender and not giving a customer a vodka in the middle of the day – I feel for him though, he couldn’t get Josh to give him his radiology results either. Greg shows up and tries to chat but things are clearly awkward because she’s hurt that he chose Rebecca over her. Except he doesn’t notice and she just walks away with a strong but friendly punch to his shoulder. Later on in the episode she comes clean, telling him that when she told him to go to Rebecca, she expected him to say “no I couldn’t be with her, I’m with you, you make me happy and you’re hot.” But of course Greg failed this test and now he has to live with the uncertainty – will she be cool and rational or will she stab him with a dart?
GUYS ITS WHITEJOSHFEATHER TIME! They’re on a fancy as fuck date and it’s adorable. WiJo is wearing a jacket loaned to him by the restaurant along with his shorts and flip flips and he’s struggling to eat the soup and Darryl is just giggling along & I know this is a terrible run-on sentence and my english teacher Mr. Joshi would be annoyed but it was too cute and I can’t get over it. Darryl says that he told everyone at work and now he wants Josh to meet everyone at the firm over a seven course meal. BUT THEN WiJo was like maybe you should chill out a bit Darryl and we can hang out NO STRINGS. Darryl asks if WiJo is seeing other people and WiJo uses a double negative so Darryl panics a little, chugs wine and beer, and agrees to “see what else is out there.”
We go back to our lovely little hot mess Rebecca, whose mom finally sent her the Garfinkle ring, that she’s choosing to pawn off to pay for Hawaii. She says she’ll be back for the ring but I’m 100% positive it’ll be sold before she does or she won’t have the money and this will bite her in the ass. Anyways after she buys her ticket and a floppy hat, she overhears Valencia on the phone with her mom, convinced that Josh wants to propose to her and that’s why he’s been weird all this time. It starts to hit Rebecca just how much her pursuing Josh is messing with Valencia’s relationship and that she is a real person with feelings.
Instead of prepping for the Key Ceremony, she runs off to convince Josh to not tell Valencia the truth. She’s too late though, J & V are already having the conversation. In the saddest moment of all time, Becks hears Josh say he doesn’t love her, her face breaks, and she walks away. We have now reached Rebecca’s Disney Villain song – I have been looking forward to this moment for all of my life (or since September). It’s a great and self-aware song where at first she questions why it’s so sinister, breaks the fourth wall, and then fully morphs into a witch in her lair with Princess Valencia as her prisoner.
Rebecca shows up late to the key ceremony and has all kinds of negative thoughts swirling in her head. She’s reached her breaking point and has pretty much snapped. She now feels like a terrible person, she wasted all her money, and she feels unlovable. Having these thoughts going through your head and having somewhat legit evidence to back it all up seems like a terrifying experience. Understandably she takes off, runs to the airport and gets on an airplane. Her seatmate is Dr. Akopian, which is the greatest thing for Rebecca who will finally have to sit through her real therapy session.
I can’t wait to find out where she ends up, probably Scarsdale, and to see how everyone in West Covina reacts to her being missing – tune in with me tonight Bunches! xoxo