I have a lot to talk about from this week’s episodes of Neighbours, and I’m going to try not to make it all about how much I don’t like the new character, Vic. Let’s crack on.
Is The JJ Saga Finally Over?
I’m absolutely bored to death of this storyline, so I’m hoping this last burst of JJ daddy drama will signal the end of it. JJ still wants to see Felix, so when Nell sticks her nose in and tells him that Andrew is off to see him in prison, JJ jumps into Andrew’s car and refuses to get out. Andrew relents and takes JJ to the prison, but he tells Felix he needs to show JJ exactly who he is, and so Felix tears poor JJ’s heart out by telling him he has no desire to be a father and doesn’t want anything to do with him.
Cara and Remi are angry at first that Andrew took JJ to the prison against their wishes. They soon start to come around to the idea that it might finally have gotten the message across to JJ that Felix is about as much use as a father as I would be as an Olympic pole vaulter. JJ seems to accept that he’s not going to have a relationship with him.
Andrew has now burnt any bridges that might have remained between him and Felix, but he very cutely said to Wendy that he might have lost a brother, but that he’s gained a nephew. I think Uncle Andrew is going to be way more of a positive influence on JJ than the waste of space currently growing a very shaggy hairdo in prison.
Food Safety Laws Be Damned
Haz has been in a coma for five minutes, but Paul has already locked the coffee shop up and is looking for a new tenant. Mackenzie is outraged and so she gets everyone together to reopen it and prove to Paul that he shouldn’t write Haz or the coffee shop off yet.
Now, I don’t know how the food safety and hospitality laws work in Australia, but I would have thought that all the staff in a business that sells food and drink should have basic training in food hygiene, or at least be supervised by someone who has. Maybe? Instead, what we have is a lawyer, a cop, and a businesswoman (amongst others) wobbling around with lattes and toasted sandwiches. It’s all very well knocking the price of your toasties down, but nobody is going to think they were a bargain after they end up with salmonella.
With the coffee shop back to being a roaring success, the only thing still bothering Mackenzie is that she told a pretty whopping lie to Haz before the accident. So she confesses to Haz that she did actually say to Harlow in an email that she can’t love him like she loved Hendrix. I think that’s kind of valid, to be honest – he was her first love, she married him and then he died very young. Hendrix will always be on a pedestal for her – how could he not be?
Anyway, the age-old soap cliche of a coma patient with a twitchy finger probably indicates that Haz is going to wake up soon.
Parent Of The Year
Nicolette and Byron’s dad has rocked up, and he’s got more slime than a posse of slugs at a hair gel convention. He’s made quite the entrance so far- he’s tried to parent Nicolette and Byron, which infuriated both of them for different reasons. Nic is more used to having a casual and fun relationship with him, so she doesn’t want things to get all boring and parenty. Byron, on the other hand, clearly resents not having a “proper” dad and is angry that Vic “missed the big stuff” and has suddenly rocked up to impart fatherly wisdom to him.
Vic is keen to meet Sadie and things seem to be going OK aside from Byron’s frosty reception until Sadie uses what she thinks is Byron’s laptop to book some cinema tickets. It’s actually Vic’s laptop, and he’s left his whopping bank balance up on the screen, which makes a liar out of him since he’s been telling everyone he’s so broke that he needs to sleep on Byron’s sofa. He tells Sadie to keep it a secret from Byron, which she has so far, and which is obviously going to turn out to be a huge mistake when Byron finds out. Because of course, he will.
Meanwhile, Vic’s reappearance has left Jane with the demeanour of a chihuahua – she’s either trembling nervously or yapping furiously at everyone. She doesn’t know what to do with herself. The only thing I like about Vic is that he described Mike as “eternally absent”, which is absolutely bang on.
Karl Runs Into Some Bigger Boys
The comedy storyline of the week of course involves Karl (again), as he and Aaron go out for a bike ride and come across a group of “bigger boys” who are in a cool-looking bike gang called the YAHMILS (Young Hot Men In Lycra). Karl is immediately intimidated by the fact that they look a bit like a boyband in matching cycling gear, and when he sees them looking in his direction he thinks they’ve recognised him from the “Dr. Pooper” scandal and he goes over to give them a piece of his mind. The highlight of his tirade is when he calls them, “Gentleman travellers of the two-wheeled highway”, which I am going to adapt to refer to myself next time I go out for a wobble on my bike.
It turns out they weren’t laughing at him at all, and Karl suffers a further indignity when he suggests they all go riding together and he gets knocked back for being over forty, whilst Aaron gets an invitation to join the crew. I would love this storyline to crop up again, I found it most entertaining.
Paul Keeps Interfering
Despite being told approximately a zillion times to stop interfering in his family’s love lives Paul decides to arrange a romantic breakfast for Leo and Krista in an effort to get them back on track. Leo point blank refuses to come, and the whole thing sets a very tense tone for the remainder of Leo and Krista’s encounters for the rest of the week. When will Paul learn to just leave his adult children alone to sort themselves out? When has his messing about in their lives ever worked?
I fear they’re about to be pushed back together in the middle of a crisis though.
Abigail Is About To Get Stoned Off Her Gourde
Krista’s dealer has been hanging around the complex all week trying to tempt Krista to give in and buy more drugs. Krista has managed to remain resolute and gives her the hairdryer treatment when she offers her some opioids by the lake, shouting at her to never come near her again. The dealer ends up dropping the baggy of pills she was trying to flog to Krista, and Abigail trots over finds them, and starts play-feeding them to her teddy bear. I think it’s more or less a certainty that she’s going to take some, and in the ensuing crisis, Krista and Leo will end up back together. I hope that’s what will happen anyway because I need Happy Leo back, I’m bored of Sad Mopey Leo.
Random Notes I Found on My Notes App From This Week
I always take a few notes throughout the week just to jog my memory when I come to write this, and I always come across a few random ones that I either can’t figure out, or that just make me laugh but end up not being relevant to anything, so I thought I’d share a couple. Here are my favourite snippets from this week:
- “Spontaneously removing his trousers for every other lady north of London.”
- Jane slagging off a cheating ex-husband to Toadie is a bit on the nose.
- Why has Wendy got square shoes on?
