I’m back from my holiday! And thanks to testing positive for Covid the day I got home, I caught up on three weeks of Neighbours in three days, so I guess every cloud has a silver lining. I’ve got very mild symptoms, but I haven’t left the house since my positive test except to take the bin out, so Neighbours has pretty much been the most exciting thing in my life for the past week.

There are a couple of things from while I was away that I simply have to mention, and they’re mostly connected with the fashion week debacle, but then I’ll get on with this week’s round-up.

Fashion Disaster

The disaster that was the fashion show was absolutely glorious, truly Neighbours at its finest. Firstly, the fashions were all absolutely hideous, there were about two and a half models (not including Mackenzie), and the only people in attendance seemed to be people who live on Ramsay Street. And with multiple catastrophes, it really was the quintessential Neighbours event. First of all, Harlow and Ned’s backstage quickie was projected onto Harlow’s dress as the finale of Amy’s fashion show, which I am sure was 100% more entertaining than what was supposed to be projected up there. Amy and Ned’s relationship subsequently imploded, and Ned scuttled off for good, which I am sad about because I enjoy looking at his face.

Karl and Susan were lording it up as VIPS after investing a huge chunk of their savings in Montana’s business, but that wasn’t enough for Karl, who was still “liberating” anything that wasn’t nailed down, much to Susan’s disdain. I absolutely love Susan’s withering looks. They truly give me life. When the disastrous reality of their investment became clear later, Susan kicked Karl out, and he just barged into Paul’s penthouse, demanded his spare room, and then started ordering all the room service. The Kennedys are truly iconic.

By far, the greatest part of the fashion show was when Levi arrived to arrest Montana and shut the entire event down. Mick had been his usual incredible self up to the arrest – calling Susan “Shirl” and taking any opportunity to diss Chloe – but from this point on, he was comedy gold, making faces that looked like Beaker from The Muppets as the police tried to grab Montana. She made a short-lived escape in Amy’s drinks van. Mick ended up in his underwear, having had to surrender his borrowed outfit, demanding the use of Terese’s business cape to cover up. I’ve realised that the only thing which will make up for Neighbours ending is if Mick gets his own spin-off. He is everything.

Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

Overall the whole fashion week was *chef’s kiss*. Now, on with this week’s UK episodes.

Wendy is Trying TOO HARD

The Rodwells have moved in, and Wendy is trying way too hard to fit in and get everyone onside. She does the rounds of all the neighbours, distributing gifts to everyone to apologise for her daughter trying to burn the school down, which is a lot of effort to go through. That energy might have been better spent finding a house somewhere a bit further away from all the people your daughter and her evil friend victimised. But it’s too late now. They can’t afford to sell up and go elsewhere – which is a shame because all of their new neighbours soon find out very publicly that, thanks to their daughter’s handiwork, Hendrix needs a lung transplant. Welcome to Ramsay Street!

Sadie feels incredibly guilty about what’s happening to Hendrix, but he proves what a good egg he is by not only forgiving Zara but extending the olive branch to Sadie too. Hendrix is truly a delight.

Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

Corey Needs a Punch in the Face

Someone who isn’t a delight is Corey, who I knew was a 24-carat git the moment I laid eyes on him in the London special. I KNEW he was going to turn out to be part of The Order, and I was right. Not content with having copied whatever was in Pru’s diary onto a memory stick, Corey has traveled halfway across the world to ensnare Harlow in some sort of weird culty business with the help of his evil friend Christabel, who I keep thinking is wearing a pillbox hat because her headband is so colossal in size. Corey is on a quest to alienate Harlow from all of her friends and family, so he has been deleting phone messages and sowing seeds of doubt in Harlow’s head about everyone’s motivations. Not only that, but Corey’s also been drugging her to make her tired and easier to control – he truly is bad news. Nothing good is going to come of the weekend getaway he’s taking Harlow on. Especially since Corey and Christabel have been preparing what looks suspiciously like some sort of cell. Christabel has her eyes on Freya as well, who seems to her like a lost soul, and has been trying without a lot of success to get her to come to a “business seminar.” I honestly think she needs a better cover story than that because nobody goes to a business seminar unless they have to.

Glen and Kiri Treat Leo Like an Owl

Now the truth is out about Kiri being Glen’s daughter, things are more than a little fractious between them, and they can’t bear to be around each other, which is a slight problem considering they have the same place of employment. So they devise a harebrained scheme where they will work entirely separately, with Leo as a go-between. It just reminds me of the bit in Harry Potter where Harry and Ron are passing messages to each other via Hermione and she yells at them that she’s not an owl. Poor Leo is the owl in this situation, and I think he’s already getting tired of it. I understand that this is an incredibly emotional and awkward situation. Still, honestly, they need to set it aside while they’re at work, so they’re able to talk to each other about things like erecting marquees without having to phone Leo every five minutes. He has important things to do, like charm people with his lovely dimples.

Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

Hendrix Goes to Sydney

Hendrix and Mackenzie go to Sydney to tell Hendrix’s family about his illness, but he immediately decides they’re going to keep it to themselves and have fun instead. He rents a Ferrari (who on earth would actually rent a Ferrari to a kid that age? Nobody, that’s who), and the pair hoon around one very specific area of Sydney that has the best views of Circular Quay. Hendrix makes up his own version of This is Your Life and takes Mackenzie to all the places where he did tedious things as a child, including the place he did his first backward somersault, which is surely a spot deserving of a blue plaque. They run into his sister, who is immediately suspicious of why Hendrix is suddenly in town.

Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

I thought we were going to have a long-drawn-out drama of Hendrix trying to keep his illness secret from his family, but they all find out pretty much straight away, and OG Pierce even does a bit of light parenting. The whole thing ends up beings so emotional for Hendrix that he takes Mackenzie for a walk to show her a rainbow and suddenly proposes to her. I was not a fan of these two as a couple at first, but I am totally sold now, and I am excited about a Hendrix/Mackenzie wedding, so I really hope she says yes. Who could say no to Hendrix? Most people can’t, which has been the source of almost all of his problems thus far in life. Let’s hope Mackenzie can’t resist his charms, either.