The Story of the Deadliest Battle Droid in Star Wars
LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga has been making waves in the video game community since its release in early April, 2022. Fans & critics both agree it’s not just the best LEGO game ever, but one of the best Star Wars games, period. Featuring locations from all nine main films and hundreds of characters, there’s enough meat for gamers to eat for weeks at a time. However, there is one character Talltale Games added that came as a surprise to fans. If you enter a certain cheat code, players can unlock one of the deadliest characters in all of Star Wars. Rather than some legendary Jedi or Sith Lord, though, it’s a B-1 battle droid. A battle droid by the name of Mister Bones.
We know what you’re thinking: how can a battle droid be so deadly? After all, they’re not that smart, only need a swing from a lightsaber to take down, and The Clone Wars show used them for comic relief. While Mister Bones is certainly hilarious and you will quote everything he says, he’s different from other battle droids. He’s actually dangerous and will happily skewer you while singing some song. In honor of this quirky battle droid, whom The Skywalker Saga has made one of the top trending pages on Wookiepedia, we’re here to give you the story of Mister Bones. Prepare for violence, roger roger.
Mister Bones is Born
Growing up is never easy, but growing up while living in a galaxy ruled by the Empire is hard. Such was the case for Temmin ‘Snap’ Wexley from the planet Akiva. His dad got taken prisoner by the Empire, while his mom left to join the Rebellion. Despite having his aunt’s, he was pretty much on his own. In addition, the boy also got bullied a lot, so he had to find ways to protect himself. Rather than take up combat training or buying a blaster, though, he came up with a cooler idea. If he couldn’t make friends, then he’d build one. Thus, using parts he found from an old Separatist droid factory, Mister Bones came into being.
Despite being a B-1 battle droid, regarded both in-universe and out as cannon fodder, Snap gave Mister Bones some unique upgrades. Firstly, half of his head got replaced with a telescoping eye that gave him enhanced vision. Secondly, Snap chose to add a freakin’ vibroblade into one of the droid’s arms as a melee weapon. Most importantly, though, Snap gave him some of the deadliest programming you could find. The battle droid was uploaded with combat droid programs, the movement patterns of a type of dancer, and the movements style of General Grievous himself! So, yeah, Mister Bones went from your run-of-the-mill battle droid to an absolute beast. With him by Snap’s side, the boy not only had a friend, but a dependable bodyguard. A bodyguard that would gleefully bludgeon someone to death and sing while doing so.
It’s the second coming of HK-47.
Gone too Soon, Roger Roger
For years, Mister Bones would serve as Snap’s best friend and nuclear deterrent to anyone foolish enough to attack his master. However, following the Battle of Endor, Snap was reunited with his mother, and proceeded to get roped into her mission for the New Republic. Together, the group spent the months after Endor hunting down Imperial officers and performing missions for the New Republic. Mister Bones was more than happy to do so, always ready to protect his family with a sadistic level of violence. After a series of adventures that took the Wexley’s across the galaxy, which included reuniting Snap with his dad, things came to a head at the Battle of Jakku.
As the Empire gathered for a last stand against the new Republic on the desert world, the Wexley’s group would play an important role in stopping the destruction of the planet, with Mister Bones protecting Snap’s mom the entire time, while Snap flew in the skies alongside the likes of Wedge Antilles himself. When Snap crashed due to falling debris, it was Mister Bones who came to his rescue. Alas, this would be the droid’s final act. Almost immediately, the droid was tragically destroyed by friendly fire from a pair of A-Wings overhead, much to Snap’s grief. Snap would bury what was left of his friend alongside his father, who had perished during the battle, though he kept the droid’s programming as a good luck charm.
As an adult, Snap would continued being a fighter pilot, serving both the New Republic and later the Resistance against the First Order. Unfortunately, he was unceremoniously killed during the Battle of Exegol, a victim of poor writing. Good going, JJ Abrams.
The Greatest Battle Droid, Mister Bones
Despite being a mere battle droid, Mister Bones proved to be a total badass the likes of which few would ever see. He was deadly, sadistic, loved to commit violence, and also pretty hilarious. One time, when he had to replace an arm with an astromech droid’s leg, he took one look at it and decided to use it to beat people to death with. How awesome is that? If every battle droid had been as good as Mister Bones, then the Clone Wars might’ve gone a lot differently!
The fact that such a lovable killer would get relegated to the sidelines could be considered a crime by some fans. The fact that Talltale Games decided to add him into their game as a random, unlockable character only serves as a testament to how hilariously awesome he is. I couldn’t help but smile when I learned that you could get him.
If you have LEGO Star Wars: the Skywalker Saga and want to enjoy Mister Bones for yourself, then use the following code to do so: BAC1CKP. It will be worth it, roger roger!
