I haven’t seen Friday’s Neighbours yet because I’m off to visit my best friend and emotional support idiot straight after work today, so apologies if I miss anything glaring that happened on Friday. It’s also been one of those weeks where I just had to remind myself what happened in all four episodes that I have actually seen, despite it being less than 12 hours since I watched the last one, so I’m not sure anything I say can be relied upon this week.

Paul is Sad and Confused and I Love it

Paul is still trying desperately to manipulate Terese into getting back together with him, and is so confused when it doesn’t work. He pays for Jesse to come back to Erinsborough, thinking that him visiting Terese will erase the damage he did by running him out of town in order to try to hide his dirty secrets. Erm, no Paul, that isn’t how adult relationships work. I’m absolutely loving the fact that Paul is sad and confused, it’s about time he gets what he deserves after years of him being pathologically unable to stop trying to stage manage his whole family’s lives in the worst way possible. Harlow desperately wants Paul and Terese to get back together, so what I’m waiting for now is for her to take sides with Paul and move into the penthouse so she can continue her transformation into an evil teen tycoon. I want the penthouse to become Villain HQ, where Paul and Harlow hatch all of their dastardly plans.

Sad Paul is sad. Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

Nicolette is Still Being a Pain in the Bum

I’m not going to excuse Aaron and David completely, because their helicopter parenting of both Isla and Nicolette this week would exhaust even the patience of a saint, but Nicolette honestly needs someone to help her lift that enormous chip off her shoulder. She is absolutely not the victim in this situation, no matter how much she wants to be. She did a runner with Aaron and David’s baby, didn’t tell anyone where she was or if she was OK, didn’t tell anyone when she gave birth, and then sold a depressed woman’s baby, and yet she’s still managing to do some Olympic-standard mental gymnastics that paint her as the victim. She’s deluded.

She’s frustrated because there are some clashes because of how Aaron and David have been parenting baby Abigail, thinking she was their daughter, and how Nicolette has been parenting Isla. Now they’re all living together with baby Isla, there are some inevitable differences of opinion as to how things should be done. But seriously, what was she expecting? She left them to it with someone else’s baby for several weeks – does she really think that waltzing back in with a different baby that she’s been parenting alone was going to be all sunshine and rainbows? There’s going to be a period of adjustment, and she should remember that she’s the one who caused this situation by legging it in the first place, rather than having to face having a few difficult conversations. After getting frustrated with the dads, she tells Jane that it makes her want to leave again, and it sends everyone into a big panic. Aaron and David pretty much put her under surveillance, terrified that she’s going to take their baby for a second time, which would be incredibly annoying for anyone but again, what was she expecting? It also seems that being incredibly annoying is a family trait, because Jane has the brass neck to tell Chloe to leave town in order to make life easier for Nicolette, when Chloe has the audacity to say she wants to move back into the house that she owns. What the actual heck, Jane? You’ve got no right to do that. What is with this family?

Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

The Imaginary Threesome is Still Causing Issues

The threesome that never actually happened is still causing ripples on Ramsay Street, with Amy painted as some sort of orgy queen, while Ned and Levi’s involvement is hardly raising an eyebrow with anyone other than Sheila, and her reaction to this whole situation has been unhinged anyway. It turns out that the threesome rumours have sparked a big insecurity in Amy that stems from her two ex-husbands both having come out as gay. Being in a relationship with two men has unsurprisingly brought up some worries that the two of them might get cosy and decide they don’t need her. After a few false starts, the three of them manage to have a conversation about it and Ned and Levi reassure Amy that neither of them are attracted to each other. But Levi is clearly having some doubts about the relationship, especially since he’s had some flak at work about it, and it probably hasn’t been helped by Sheila’s bizarre obsession with it all either. She’s fully lost her mind.

Levi Goes on a Not-Date With Phoebe From Home and Away

Levi runs into Phoebe from Home and Away at the Waterhole, and the two of them hit it off. She’s clearly going to turn out to be a regular character, since she’s a known actress and she already has a back story, so it seems she could spell the end for Amy’s polyamarous relationship. After Levi’s head is so clearly turned by the new girl, Sheila pounces on it with both hands and suggests to Levi that if Amy is allowed to have two boyfriends, then he should be allowed to have two girlfriends. I mean, it’s a fair point, and one which Amy should at least be open to discuss. I think I can see where this is going though – Amy is going to end up with Ned and Levi is going to end up with Phoebe, or whatever she’s called in the Neighbours universe. My brain hasn’t accepted her new name yet.

Hendrix Finally Sorts Himself Out

I said that someone other than Kyle should intervene in Hendrix’s behaviour, but nobody else does, so Kyle has to do the heavy lifting. And to be fair to him, he actually handles the situation pretty well. He finally gets Hendrix to make another appointment with the doctor and he marches him over to the tram to tell Karl about it. Thankfully, Hendrix goes for further tests and gets the all clear, and Mackenzie lets him off the hook for acting like a bit of a tool. I’m happy to have cute, cheeky Hendrix back, I don’t like the angsty version. This plot actually gives us my highlight of the week when Kyle tells Hendrix he should get tested because if it comes back clear, all he’d need to worry about is his stupid haircut. I love Kyle.

Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy

On that note, can we have some comedy storylines next week? It’s all been a bit serious lately.