Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy.

It was a pretty dramatic week on Neighbours, starting off with the school siege and ending with heartbreak for Chloe and Pierce. The Ramsay Street revolving door seems to be continuing, as Terese and the Brennan/Tanakas return from their hurriedly planned trips, while Harlow appears to be about to fly to New York with about three hours’ notice. I wish I could decide to go and holiday and then jet off somewhere the very next morning…

Anyway – that’s enough of my holiday daydreams – here is my round-up of last week’s UK episodes.

Yashvi and Karl Save the Day

I’m not really sure what the Erinsborough police and rescue services were up to just casually sitting outside with all of their flashing lights on, but it must have been really important, because the school siege ends with Yashvi, a suspended rookie cop, and Karl, a largely incompetent physician with no real specialty, running into the school to save everyone from a dirty detective with a powerful desire to use his taser. Mackenzie sadly loses that particular lottery, and for once Karl is able to do something useful by helping Susan give her CPR. Meanwhile, Yashvi and Dax have an incredibly underwhelming fight in the school corridor, and that is the end of that. Mackenzie’s fine, her and Richie are back together, and Dax is probably thrilled that he got to use his taser.

There is so much to enjoy in this photo. Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy.

Toadie Finally Finds Out He’s Been Conned. Again.

Hendrix, who is no stranger to doing the wrong thing, decides to take the moral high ground after finding out that what Rose is doing could ruin Toadie’s career. After Hendrix snitches, Toadie confronts Rose, and she confesses to the whole thing. I’m kind of disappointed that needing ammunition for a nasty divorce case is the sum total of Rose’s subterfuge, because the tension that was building around her sneaky antics suggested it was really juicy, and it’s ended up being really boring. I’m not sorry that Toadie has fired her, and I’m hoping that this is the last we see of her, or more specifically hear of her, because I find her super chipper demeanor utterly unbearable. I wish Lucy Durack absolutely no ill, but I’m pretty fine with never hearing her talk again. She sounds like if maple syrup could talk. Toadie is devastated about the whole thing because he’s clearly enjoyed working with Rose for a reason I find entirely baffling, and he’s also gutted that he’s been conned yet again. Not to victim blame, but is there an award for the least perceptive lawyer to ever exist? Because if there is I might put a couple of quid on Toadie to win it.

Nicolette is Slightly Less Hateful

For a while it looked like Nicolette was trying her best to cause trouble between Chloe and Pierce to split them up, but she’s taken a big step back, and even provides a shoulder to cry on for Chloe when she starts having doubts about whether she’s ready for a baby. Because this is Neighbours, the second someone starts having doubts about a pregnancy, the worst possible thing happens and Chloe sadly miscarries. Nicolette is really supportive and kind to Chloe and Pierce in the hospital, proving that she’s not thoroughly unpleasant after all. Or is she? I’m sure I’m way off the mark here, and this is probably too dark even for Neighbours, but I did wonder for a second if maybe Nicolette had given Chloe something to cause the miscarriage. I’m pretty sure I’m wrong – we didn’t see her lacing a drink with anything, and she’s in the titles so she clearly isn’t going anywhere. She’s probably entirely innocent and I’ve probably listened to way too many true crime podcasts.

There’s heartbreak for Chloe. Photo: © Channel 5. Source: Digital Spy.

Shane Has Turned Into An Annoying Sad Dog

Last week I was frustrated at the lack of support that Shane was getting from his family, but this week I’ve done a complete about turn and I am fully on their side. Shane is being an absolute wand since he got back from rehab. He was there for all of five minutes, but he’s decided that he knows all there is to know about the process and that he’s somehow managing to cure himself of a serious drug addiction by writing in a journal. On top of that, he spends all his time wafting uselessly around the café getting in Dipi’s way, even when she makes it crystal clear that she wants him to go away. He’s like a sad dog following its owner around, only way less cute. When Toadie suggests that he helps Dipi instead, he turns into Mr Bean for some reason, and can’t even whip some cream without causing a minor disaster in the kitchen. No wonder Dipi is so annoyed with him, he’s currently even more useless than Ned.

Ned Goes Too Far

Speaking of Ned, his foray into Fandangle is getting increasingly more risqué and last week he… well, actually I’m not exactly sure what he did. He sent a video to his super fan of himself doing something, which even Roxy thought was a step too far. After the previous requests, I really dread to think what he did in this particular video, but I can probably hazard a few guesses. There’s no shame in earning a living this way, but we all know that Ned is not known for his wisdom, and he’s handled this whole situation in a way that has put himself at considerable risk, which looks like it may come to a head next week. I don’t read spoilers, but I suspect we all know what’s coming here, and the set-up of it all seems quite reminiscent of last time it happened, but perhaps without a cheese knife this time?