Steal from the Thief (5×1)

Someone is in a coffin. And I’m terrified to see who it is. But Lucious seems pretty somber standing over it, alongside Cookie.

Hakeem is…singing? He’s doing well in his session with Tiana as Cookie and Jamal look on. Lucious is watching the footage back on his laptop.

I laughed when the footage pulled to Cookie sitting in on a bunch of white tv execs pitching awfully stereotypical phrases in order to pitch the Lyon patriarch as a judge on reality tv.

Jamal is living in London, pursuing his record label as he’s seeing a dude named Kai.

Money is tight, as Lucious and Cookie scramble to find funds, with the matriarch selling off her old clothes. These two years later, they plan on ambushing Eddie during an awards show, sick of waiting on a legal solution to take hold.

Andre is in jail, serving two years for reckless endangerment for roofing Anika’s drink before she fell off the precipice during Eddie’s party for taking over Empire. He was playing chess with a money schemer person that formally worked for Eddie before he was taken down.

Becky is killing it at Empire, as she barks at each of her assistants, setting up photo shoots and the like.

Hakeem was shot. That’s been confirmed. But losing half your lung has got to be tough. Also, Bella and Prince? Those are some rad kid’s names. Tiana is being supportive of Hakeem during his recovery, and hopefully, their lip-synched performance will pass at the awards show.

Andre came through! Cookie and Lucious arrive at the awards show, as Eddie moves, each step is cloaked by his security team while the Lyons speak in front of the cameras.

The MVP awards make for a stranger awards show spinoff. I get why they had to make it a spoof of an already strange concept, but it’s not any less cringey.

Ibiza won, and Eddie, Cookie and Lucious took the stage. Moments before, they revealed to Eddie that he could go to jail or let them take over Empire, since discovering Eddie’s Panama offshore account. This lead to Eddie falling into a drunken stupor as his wife stands there exacerbated.

Can I just admire how much of a badass Giselle is? She tousled with her husband when he tried to drunkenly have sex with her. Her fine self-defense moves led to Eddie’s face knocking against the table, his head wound leaking blood. Giselle casually steps over his body and walks out.

“What are you Houdini, huh? You was gonna magically disappear?” I missed these lines from Cookie. She’s back!

My Sense8 heart was tingling, as Toby Onwumere graced my screen. He’s a handsome dude, and I don’t mind seeing him gracing the screen as Jamal’s hopefully long-term bae for a while.

But seriously, can I say the dudes in this episode breaking down their women as they struggle is not cool. Super patronizing even. I hope Lucious and Hakeem take pause and realize how lucky they are to have women in their life.

I love Jamal’s proposal to redo everything – make a new record label for Cookie and Lucious to make as their own.

And OMG, I was humming along as I heard Janelle Monae’s tune “I Like That” plays over Giselle and Kelly Patel’s conversation in the limo. And I agree with Giselle, Eddie’s ashes should be thrown down the sewer.

Treasure is gorgeous and talented. But her manager is f-ing creepy and domineering. Thank god Lucious shooed him out so that Treasure can sing. Lucious told everyone he “ran into something”…classic dismissive line. The “manager” dude is gone, and Treasure can fucking sing! The runs and ease she showed in her song were fantastic.

Hakeem was wack pulling a gun on Kai as he and Jamal came inside Jamal’s old place. Like Yikes, but Kai didn’t leave. He even deconstructed the gun as Jamal and Hakeem talked over their grievances. Jamal agrees to be more supportive.

Jamal even agrees, hesitantly, to stay home with his family until Andre gets out of prison, and Cookie and Lucious get their label together. I really want to see more of Jamal and Kai’s life in London though, all their cheezy dates, and Jamal’s hunting for new talent overseas. Get me more of that, please.

Someone is killed six months from the current timeline. Lucious seems apologetic for their death. WHO IS IN THAT COFFIN?????

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