Well, apparently the running theme of “Boywatch”, aside from boy watching, is “everyone is bad at everything all the time.”  While this wouldn’t normally be a bad thing,  they resolve the plot in the most moronic way imaginable.

To make a long story very short; Tina wants to be a junior lifeguard so that she can stare at shirtless boys.

After being told she can’t join, a girl trips and sprains her ankle, allowing Tina to take her place.  She spends the first several weeks screwing around, not paying attention to anything she’s being taught and getting the other members of her squad punished for her mistakes.

Then, after an incredibly one-sided conversation with an old man, she decides to straighten up and fly right, despite everyone else on the team already hating her guts.  She tries to perform a pro-level rescue drill and gets the entire squad dismissed.

But don’t worry everybody, the Stupid Train doesn’t stop there.  The apparently too distractable lifeguard coach schedules the fun run (on the beach for some reason) and the sandcastle building contest on the same day.

Tina recognizes this before anyone else, and convinces her fellow expelled squad members to smash the sandcastles to prevent anyone from tripping and spraining their own ankles.  And the worst part is, she’s commended for her efforts and has to graduate by jumping off the pier.

I know Tina is usually pretty socially awkward, but this bumped it up to just uncomfortably stupid levels.  The boys on the squad did everything but hold up signs that read, “we hate you Tina” and she still acted like everyone was in love with her.  She goofed around the whole time, and because someone managed to be a bigger idiot than her, things worked out in her favor.

I know I’m on a rant here, but usually, Bob’s Burgers is pretty good about having equal effort and results.  If someone puts a lot of effort into something, usually the result is either them getting it, or losing so spectacularly that they learn something.  But this plot was a total write-off.  I think it’s fair to say, it’s been the worst in the season.

Plot two was barely important at all, and was just glossed over.  Which is truly unfortunate, considering it had the potential to be much more interesting than its main plot.  It involved the Belchers opening up their personal wifi to customers and seeing an increase in business.  At first, Linda seems like she’s going to crusade against it due to lack of people paying attention to her.  But Sgt. Bosco shows up undercover and tells the rest of the family that he’s trying to catch a cyber criminal.

He’s really bad at being undercover and probably shouldn’t have told the Belcher children or Linda for that matter.  They all try and help and goof things up too.  But eventually, Bosco off-screen catches the hacker and confiscates Bob’s personal router.

If this story had been the central focus, we might’ve gotten to see Bosco struggle more with tech that he doesn’t understand, and actually arrest the culprit instead of glancing over it.  Not to mention, it might not have been so obvious who the suspect was.  Seriously, it was the first person Linda talked to.  C’mon!

Well, thanks for putting up with this episode with me.  I’m sure the next one will be better.  I mean, it has to be.  There’s nowhere to go from here but up.