Here we go again, another week of Hammond hi-jinks! Last week, we had plenty of questions left unanswered. Will Joel ever finish his bookshelves? Was Japopo’s the cause of the Santa Clarita zombie virus outbreak? Does Mr. Ball Legs have knights at his command? Do the Nazis have a decent white fielder yet? Let’s get started and see what mysteries we can solve!
What’s for Dinner?
We open on Sheila eyeing up her next meal. Boone is an avid bird lover, even if he’s a horrid human being. Joel worries that Sheila is getting cold feet, but we all know zombie Sheila isn’t backing down… though her feet may be cold. She’s going to eat him up “Tits to teeth”, which is that lovely phrase Abby invented earlier on. After making fun of her strange saying, Joel gets ready to enter Japopo’s as they open, to get all the receipts from the day Sheila and Ramona ate the dreaded clam special.
Instead of his original health inspector plan, which Sheila expertly crushed before he could try it, Joel chose to be a documentary film maker. He barely gets the owner’s attention with his film pitch about tipping, but definitely is intrigued when his wife could get an interview for the angels portion of the film. Joel thinks he’s got this in the bag, until the cook comes from the back holding a cell phone. Joel’s scathing review from season one is coming back to haunt him! Until he writes a better review, he gets no receipts. To think, a Yelp elite member having to falsify a review… scandalous!
Support and Training
Sheila has begun training with Anne, which basically entails her wailing on the training pads for extended periods of time without tiring. Sheila’s reasoning for her crazy energy? She gave up dairy. Anne drops a comment about needing to stay in shape not for her sheriff’s dept. job, but for Lisa. Who is insatiable… starting to wonder a bit about that one.
Sheila digs for info about Dan’s investigation, and sparks a conversation about Anne’s desire to see the killer brought to justice. She also noticed the many other missing person cases, but higher-ups at work told her to drop it. Sheila tries to make her forget, by inspiring her to pursue things she really likes to do. Unfortunately, Anne loves solving mysteries. Nice going Sheila!
On the other side of the force, Joel and Rick are going over his replacement review. Rick offers some herbal enhancement to get the creative juices flowing, but Joel declines. Rick is clearly concerned about his buddy Joel, and even says so. Joel looks like he’s about to come clean but stays silent. Sheila comes in to break the unwelcome news about Anne’s new hobby, and Rick leaves. Not before he slips a joint into Joel’s shirt pocket though. What a buddy!
Sheila and Joel get into it about the new Anne issue. Lots of blame flying around, and some underhanded remarks as well. Abby comes down, and the concerned parents talk a bit about her strangling Ramona with a belt. Like every teenager in existence, she’s fine and doesn’t need their help. Since Joel leaves her in charge of dinner plans, Abby tells him to order in Thai food.
A New Plan
Abby’s idea for delivery sparks one for Sheila. Since murdering someone, without being caught, requires heavy cleanup and preparation, she proposes some changes. They get to work removing all the evidence from their own home, like Gary and Mr. Ball Legs, and transfer them to the old storage unit. They rent an additional one, to cover in plastic, designed as their kill room. This seems like a great plan to everyone but Gary, who worries they won’t come and visit anymore.
Abby and Eric meet up in school, and discuss the fracking happening nearby. Abby is appalled that such a thing can happen, and Eric clearly agrees. After a brief exchange with clueless friend #2, where she refuses to acknowledge Eric’s very existence, Abby speaks up about people not being able to do whatever they want without consequence. She’s immediately called to the principal’s office. I guess he heard about her serving up social justice on a tray!
Joel and Sheila are at the office, while Joel struggles with his review. Sheila confirms the fake memorabilia sale setup for Nazi Boone’s date in the kill room. Sheila agrees that she has been too impulsive and decides to end the friendship with Anne. Just then, everyone’s favorite looney walks in. Ron is out of the hospital, due to budget cuts, recognizes Sheila as Joel’s zombie wife by pantomiming zombies in front of their whole office.
Sheila holds back anger as she berates Joel about telling their secret to this stranger. Joel tries an “I’m sorry, but” apology which doesn’t fly. Joel heads over to speak with the happy, but clueless, puppy dog that is Ron. Ron mentions that he knows people in the paranormal world who would love to watch Sheila eat someone, which isn’t going to happen. Joel tells Ron like it is, threatens his life if he ever mentions anything about his wife’s condition, and is then offered a hoagie by Ron. He really is a cheery fellow.
Abby’s in Principal Novak’s office, who claims he’s got a case. He’s obviously got it out for the Hammond family, for obvious reasons, but Abby calls his bluff. Since he really has nothing, he punishes her with a month of detention for unexcused absences. Just then, Eric shows up and principal Novak is VERY accommodating. It turns out helping the school at the Science Olympiad earns the good graces of Principal Novak. Eric convinces him to forget the detention, and instead have Abby join the environmental club as punishment, by threatening to not appear at the next Olympiad.
“Eric the Badass. Son of Lisa the Pharma-rep. Neighbor of Joel.” is born, and Abby is grateful. Abby mentions her nonsense “tits to teeth” saying again, reminding us all where exactly it came from in the first place. Eric heads off, and Abby is approached by Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome himself, Sven. He calls her Tray girl, due to her awesome outburst, and asks for her number. She’s awestruck, starry-eyed, and completely smitten with him. I guess we’ll have to deal with more road blocks for the Eric and Abby relationship.
Boone and His Wheels
Sheila and Joel go over the plan before Boone arrives. They spruce up their obviously designed kill room with some flowers and a fruit basket. They bicker some more about the “I’m sorry, but” apology stylings of Joel, and him telling Ron about Sheila’s zombie issue. Boone shows up just in time and recognizes the pair right away. He questions their plastic lined room, which is explained as a curator’s clean room to protect the WWII memorabilia. Just then, Boone throws a monkey wrench in the mix…
Boone brought a Nazi expert friend, who happens to be in a wheelchair. Joel and Sheila launch into a comical discussion about the morality of killing Nazis and whether sparing someone in a wheelchair would be discrimination or not. They decide to skip the sale of their fake items, which enrages the Nazi’s who claim their being discriminated against. After Boone’s wheelchair bound friend Kevin insults Sheila, all bets are off. She rips out his throat while Joel briefly distracts Boone. Sheila begins chowing down on her new Nazi snacks while Joel retreats to the other storage unit.
Back at school, Abby is not enjoying the intensity of the bake sale. “Tray Girl” should be doing something more extreme, like chaining herself to something. Eric, having gained his new title of “Eric the Badass” agrees to join her in whatever she chooses to pursue. They really do make a fantastic little duo together.
In the other storage unit, Joel is visibly shaken as he searches for a change of clothes for Sheila. Gary plays therapist again, and Joel gives in. Joel tries to be gentle with the description of her ripping out the Nazis’ throats, but Gary reminds him that he watched her eat him alive. After listening for a bit, Gary tells Joel that having to reach out to someone is completely normal. However, “I’m sorry, but” isn’t an apology. We’ve heard that before, haven’t we?
I Was Wrong
Sheila comes back in, full of Nazi. She’s pumped about their new plan, and her full stomach, and Joel takes this chance to apologize. About Anne, Ron, and his previous not-quite-apologies. Sheila is happy, and Joel makes the realization he needed. Sometimes people just want to hear you admit that you were wrong!
We see Joel’s apologetic Yelp review on a PC at Japopo’s as we scan out and see Ron meeting with our old friends… Asian lady and long-haired Norse guy! If you don’t remember, they’re the “janitors” that showed up at bile guy’s apartment. Turns out, they’re all part of the paranormal subreddit and they want answers from Ron. He keeps his promise to Joel, and keeps his mouth mostly shut. As the episode ends we see Norse guy roll up his sleeves, to prepare for his food, and he’s got a Mr. Ball Legs tattoo!
We’ve come a long way this episode. Abby is starting to do something productive with her life, but hopefully she’s got Eric there to help tame her a bit. Sheila and Joel are in a good place both as a couple and as a murder duo. Gary is really becoming an important part of the family, which bodes well for him staying alive-ish. Now we’ve just got to wonder about the Asian lady and Norse guy… what did he mean about his sacred duty? Check back next week, and we’ll see what we can see!