Image Source: Laurell K. Hamilton

Anita Blake is one bad ass woman. She is a necromancer, vampire executioner, federal marshal, part of two triumvirates, has a vampire servant, is a human servant, has animals to call, knows judo at a black belt level, is lethal with firearms and knows her way around knives. She stays calm in emergencies yet keeps her biting wit no matter the circumstances. When I grow up I want to be just like her! Because of all that I want to reflect on some of her best quotes. I suppose a spoiler alert is in order as I will be using quotes from the whole series. And away we go!

“How do you outrun the monster when you are the monster?”

“Stupidity isn’t punishable by death. If it was there would be a hell of a population drop.”

“Never argue when you’re winning.”

“Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.”

“An Atheist waving a cross at a vampire is a truly pitiful sight.”

“If you French kiss a vampire you risk lip and tongue injury.”

“My father taught me to be nice first, because you could always be mean later, but once you’ve been mean to someone, they won’t believe the nice anymore. So be nice, be nice, until it’s time to stop being nice. Then destroy them.”

“Women may get to wear lots of pretty colors but men get the comfortable shoes.”

“There comes a point when you either embrace who and what you are or you condemn yourself to be miserable all your days. There will always be people in your life who will try to make you miserable. Don’t help them by doing the job yourself.”

“It’s not about winning, Haven. I’m not a prize to be won. I’m not the princess that needs rescuing from the dragon. I’m the prince and I kill my own monsters. You need to be ok with that.”

“Important safety tip- never look a vampire in the eye.”

“You can’t kill us all, human.” He was right. I raised the machine gun a little. “True, but who’s going to be first in line?”

“Death, jewelry, or magic; it sounded like Valentine’s Day.”

“When crime busting is easier than your personal life, something has gone seriously wrong.”

I couldn’t leave Jean-Claude out so here are a few from him though he will get his own list someday.

“If I wasn’t dead already, I’d said I was having a heart attack.” ~ Jean-Claude

“I am sincere Ma Petite, even when I lie.” ~ Jean-Claude

“I knew from the moment I heard you, the moment I saw the gun and realized that this lovely, petit woman was the executioner, that you would never die waiting for me to save you – that you would save yourself.” ~ Jean-Claude

“Only you, Ma Petite, could keep having accidental sex.” ~ Jean-Claude

This is my favorite line between Anita and Jean-Claude. It reminds me of my husband and me.

“You are an irritating son of a bitch.”

“Ah, ma petite, how can I resist you when you whisper such sweet endearments to me?”

Did I miss any of your favorite lines? Let me know in the comments below.