The “Drunk History” Season 5 Premiere Was as Memorable as It Was Entertaining

The season five premiere of “Drunk History” was just as hilarious as we expected it to be – possibly more so. Paget Brewster and Amber Ruffin reminded us why we love them so much and Tiffany Haddish killed her “Drunk History” debut. Here are some of the most memorable moments from each narrator and their stories!

Deborah Sampson goes undercover as a man to fight in the Revolutionary War.

Paget Brewster spun an eloquent and heart-warming drunk rendition of Deborah Sampson’s life story, including Deborah’s need to use gauze to hide her breasts so she could pass as a man. Naturally, Derek had to make a dad joke: “Was she like, ‘oh my gauze?’.”

Above is Paget’s face when Derek made a dad joke versus when she, unintentionally, made a dad joke about Deborah Sampson “working her balls off.” Iconic.

Rose Valland rescues art from the Nazis.

Drunk History
Photo Source: Comedy Central

Tiffany explained a technique she used in her past dating life: she would make guys color in a coloring book during the first date. Ladies, take note.

Drunk History
Photo Source: Comedy Central

Did you know that Tiffany Haddish’s father is Jewish? And her mother is Jehovah’s Witness. What does that make her?

“I’m a Jew-Jo!”

Drunk History
Photo Source: Comedy Central

Rose Valland saved thousands of pieces of artwork during Nazi occupation of France. She also, apparently, did the Nae Nae. Heyyyyyyyyyy!

Drunk History
Photo Source: Comedy Central

“Hitler killed himself, so they say. I think he’s hangin’ out with Tupac.”

This is how conspiracy theories start, Tiffany.

Clara Barton becomes “the angel of the battlefield.”

Drunk History
Photo Source: Comedy Central

Clara Barton saved countless lives and founded the American Red Cross. How did she manage to obtain all the supplies the military needed during a time when the government refused to help? “Abracadabra, bitch.”

Drunk History
Photo Source: Comedy Central

“Amber, if you feel like burping, you can burp.”

The episode ended with Amber’s narration and I honestly couldn’t be happier with that choice. Nothing could top seeing her have a conversation with Clara Barton (Mandy Moore) in a tandem shot like this.

Tonight’s episode, “Dangerous Minds,” is narrated by Taran Killam, Jerry O’Connell and Bob Odenkirk. They’ll be colorfully dictating the lives of Jack Parsons, William Chester Minor and Rasputin. So, grab a drink and hunker down for some Tuesday night shenanigans with “Drunk History”!

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