On the last episode of The Good Place, the humans had to prove that they were the best version of themselves, all to get on a golden hot air balloon to nowhere.
After escaping Sean & the demons by the skin of their teeth, the humans and Michael need to figure out their next move. They need to get out of the neighbourhood before the evil forces figure out what’s going on and come back for them.
They all look to Michael for guidance and he whips up a magical golden balloon that will take them straight to the real Good Place. EXCEPT the balloon isn’t real fam, & he eventually has “after-sads” about lying to his best friends. Before they find out that it’s not real and the Michael actually has no idea how to get them to the Good Place, they each step on the scale and let the balloon judge their “goodness.”
On the first try, everyone turns the scale green and gets to pass except Chidi, who is doubting the fact that he is his best self. Given that there have been 802 Chidis, how is he EVER to know that Chidi 69 or Chidi 420 *high five* weren’t the best ones.
Eleanor talks him down from this ledge – if they’re all the best versions of themselves, and he was their teacher, then he must be his ultimate self in this version. But then he gets in her head, and due to her doubts, the golden scale rejects her.
Tahani then tries and fails to turn the scale green, and starts yelling at it about how she isn’t Eleanor (IT IS I, TAHANI) and yammers on about her going ahead before everyone and sending the balloon back.
Then Janet gets on the scale to prove that she’s the best her because her operating system is constantly updating but it turns out she is more human than ever and more confused than ever and she short-circuits the thing altogether.
Eleanor starts to think that the best version of her is the one that was open and vulnerable with chidi at Mindy’s house, the one who told him she loved him. She asks Michael to tell her more about that version and he paints a beautiful word picture. These two spent a lot of time together in that version, Eleanor once anticipated Chidi’s need for a tissue right before he sneezed and made him realize that he loved her. They mashed their food holes together – which is disgusting because THEY’RE NOT FOR THAT – and lived happily ever after.
This is where the after-sads kick in. Michael reveals that he’s been stalling all along, and that they’re basically screwed. Eleanor asks Janet to get them a million bottles of booze and the gangs gets to partying. They bond the way girls in the club bathroom bond, in a deep and meaningful way facilitated by all the booze. As a gesture of thanks, they give Michael a human starter kit that he adores. The kit includes:
- Car keys “So I can lose them!”
- Band-Aids “For your stupid fragile bodies!”
- A stress ball with a dumb corporate logo
- A Dr. Oz diet book
The booze ALSO makes them feel braver and more emboldened to take the system down. They decide to head to the real Bad Place, make their way to the portal and appear before the judge who miiiiiight be able to save them. In the end they plan to do the most human thing of all:
Attempting something futile with a ton of unearned confidence and failing spectacularly.