I would love an interview on why the beginning of this episode is the way that it is: overly dramatically, a car drives around Zihuatanejo with a plush giraffe on top. It approaches the mansion and we see cowboy boots exit the car. It appears that we’re about to meet someone new, but it’s just Jasper. Todd asks Jasper if he had just been driving the car he just got out of, but Jasper says no. Todd doesn’t believe him, for obvious reasons, but Jasper just walks away, leaving Todd calling after him.
Melissa searches for a quiet space in the mansion. With three newborns, quiet is a lot to ask for. She finally finds a secluded room and sits down to read, but Tandy comes in to collect some of his things.
As a wedding present, Carol bedazzled Gail’s wedding jumpsuit so Gail can wear it on an everyday basis. She promises to get to Erica’s wedding dress next, but Erica wants to preserve her dress for Dawn. Gail asks who Dawn is going to marry, since there’s such a small population on earth right now. Erica jokes that it would have to be Jasper (since Erica is a woman who just married a woman, it’s a little weird to me that Erica is thinking her daughter would have to marry Jasper at this point and not one of Carol’s twin baby girls). Gail hops on with this joke and the two unintentionally make Carol genuinely jealous and worried that her infants will end up alone.
Jasper explodes the plush giraffe with a firework. Todd watched it happen, but he still asked Jasper if he did that. Jasper initially says no, but when asked if he’s lying, he says ‘yeah.’ Todd thanks him for his honesty but says that “explosives are not appropriate for minors. They’re for adults and miners… coal miners.” Todd turns around and hears another explosive go off. He flips on Jasper and says that he’s grounded. As someone who hasn’t had any sort of childhood, Jasper has no clue what grounded means. Todd struggles with figuring out how to find his balance of tough and nice and he walks away awkwardly.
Carol asks Tandy if having their twins was a mistake. She says she didn’t think ahead to after her babies were born (though I know she did because when they met Melissa in season one, Tandy said he should impregnate both of them so their babies wouldn’t have to repopulate with each other). Tandy thinks she shouldn’t get worked up over Jasper’s possible future with Dawn, and Carol promises to ‘help nature take its course.’ She invites Jasper over for a meal. She took his favorite foods (macaroni, spray cheese, ketchup and poptarts) and layered them together in one dish (Mmm, yuck). In classic set-up fashion, Carol makes an excuse and leaves Jasper alone with her babies.
After she walks away, Carol runs into Erica. She suggests to Erica that they set up a schedule for Jasper so that he doesn’t spend too much time with any one baby. Erica points out that he’s a ‘9-11 year old boy’ and the girls are infants. Later, Erica tells Gail about that weird interaction. She wants to say something to Carol, but Gail warns her wife to not get drawn into her daughter’s crazy.
Carol has Mike, Bezequille and Jasper limbo. Erica walks by and sees the babies wearing a ton of makeup. Jasper mainly pays attention to his handheld video game.
Todd asks Tandy if he thinks he’s a pushover because Jasper didn’t listen to his discipline. Tandy decides to give tips on how to be taken more seriously as a parent, which involves a ridiculous amount of yelling and smashing a glass.
Erica confronts Carol about the matchmaking and the makeup. Carol says not to worry because she won’t be doing that anymore. Now that Erica and Dawn officially bowed out of the competition for Jasper, there’s no need for those shenanigans. Carol says that Jasper has given Mike and Bezequille each a stuffed animal (it’s his stuffed giraffe ripped in half). Erica tells herself not to get sucked in, but she does. She gives Jasper a go-cart, telling him that it was Dawn’s idea. Suddenly she hears music, and the twins are sitting in car seats with a boom box between them, “In Your Eyes” playing, Say Anything style. When Erica looks over, Jasper drives away.
Todd scolds Jasper for all of his disrespect. He takes Jasper’s game away and tells him to go to his room. Jasper, instead, walks in the opposite direction and finds Melissa in her secret room.
Erica and Carol are in the middle of fighting over how ridiculous it is to be fighting over Jasper. Todd comes in yelling for Tandy. Tandy walks in and faces Todd’s anger. He feels like everything is Tandy’s fault for giving bad advice. Erica starts yelling at Todd for yelling at Tandy when she’s yelling at Carol. Melissa interrupts and tell them all to stop. She reminds them that Jasper is a 9-11 year old boy who has missed out on so many normal experiences already. They go to Jasper’s tent to apologize for their behavior, but he is missing.
Todd and Tandy drive around looking for Jasper. Todd feels terrible for pushing Jasper away. Tandy says he shouldn’t blame himself when it’s Tandy’s fault for misleading him. They hear an alarm and follow the noise. It leads them to a prison. They believe Jasper must be messing around inside, and start to walk toward the gate. We see a glimpse of inside the prison — there’s an inmate, played by Fred Armisen! Another SNL alum!
Sadly, this is the midseason finale. I don’t know about y’all, but I’m not ready for a break from LMOE. I can’t wait to see what happens with our boy, Fred.
Miss LMOE a bunch? All four seasons are available on Hulu! Introduce your friends to it for a rewatch this holiday season!