When we think of Christmas Movies, most of us think of The Holiday or Love, Actually or even Die Hard but we seem to forget about the gems that Hallmark (& sometimes Lifetime) produces every year, with generic no-name brand versions of popular actors. You know the ones, movies where you can predict every detail in the plot, where a man & woman spend more time than usual together, fall in love, have a conflict in the third act, and you’re guaranteed a happy ending in the end.
The beauty of the Holidays is one of these is literally on somewhere & lots all available to stream on Netflix/Hulu. I’ve rounded up my favourites old & new below.
12 Dates Of Christmas
Amy Smart falls on her head at the department store and ends up reliving Christmas Eve over and over again. Mark-Paul Gosselaar plays her blind-date who is perfect in every way. They have off-the-charts chemistry and Amy’s character discovers the true meaning of Christmas…or something. There’s ice-skating, there’s baking, there’s a holiday party, there’s a best friend with no life & a dead mom.
A Royal Christmas
Tired of trying to make Fetch happen, Lacey Chabert starts dating a guy who just happens to be in line for the throne in some abstract fake country. He tells her the truth & takes her home to mommy who immediately hates her. The prince’s ex is also there trying to sabotage everything. Lacey acts like a decent non garbage person, sews a dress and ultimately wins everyone over…or does she? Yes she does, this is a Hallmark movie, come on.
A Heavenly Christmas
First of all, this one has Shirley MacLaine, Kristin Davis & Eric McCormack. That should be enough for you, I really shouldn’t have to explain myself. Kristin was a workaholic who never appreciated Christmas but then *gasp* she dies and become a Christmas angel…or does she? She’s supposed to help Eric be happy again AND MAYBE THEY FALL IN LOVE…or do they? There’s a twist-y ending that you’ve probably already guessed but I don’t want to spoil it so…just watch it.
A Very Merry Mixup
Alice and Will/Billy just got engaged but she’s never seen pictures of his family. He also sucks and sends her to meet them for the first time BY HERSELF! At the airport, her luggage gets lost and her phone breaks. She runs into Billy’s brother and goes home with him. She starts to fall in love with this brother (the kind of love you feel after a day and a half) BUT THERE’S A TWIST Y’ALL! Bonus points for car accidents and broken off engagements and uptight families.
12 Men of Christmas
Kristen Chenoweth’s garbage boyfriend is cheating on her with her boss, so she quits her job and moves to the middle of nowhere to do their tourism marketing. She’s from the city so she wears heels to the park and blowdries her hair so the dude form Cougar Town who I’m too lazy to google is shitty and rude to her. But then *gasp* he falls in love with her, helps her finish her naked rescue workers calendar and boom, sweet happy ending. Bonus points because lots of hot-ass model dudes get shirtless in this movie.
12 Gifts Of Christmas
The announcer dude for this trailer says “love could be the best gift of all” so you know it’ll be cheesy and have a date-montage in it that features ice skating. This dude has no time to buy his own Christmas gifts so he hires “the Christmas gifter” and maybe they fall in love…idk.
Ice Sculpture Christmas
He works finance for his dad but he wants to do meaningful work and she’s the dishwasher at the country club but she’s a really talented chef. Together they make an ice sculpture and melt his uptight dad & her uptight boss’s hearts in the process. Do they fall in love? Do they win the ice sculpture contest despite being sub-par? Is there a bitter woman with her ponytail too tight trying to sabotage all of it? *sing song voice* I don’t knowww *giggle*
The bad acting and predictable plot are the best part of these movies. That and that one is guaranteed to be on at any moment in time. These were the 7 freshest in my mind/that I saw last week but there are literally hundreds to choose from.
Enjoy your holiday movie binge and give us some of your recommendations in the comments!
