It seems like just yesterday Lea Salonga was singing at Jayma’s wedding while Valencia nursed her broken heart and Greg threw up on the couch, and Josh & Rebecca had sex on a magic carpet in a car. Season 2 has given us 7 new episodes of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend since then and things are looking mighty different lately.
“Why do you write like you’re running out of time?” is something people keep saying to Alexander Hamilton in a little-known Broadway musical about his life; it is also what I kept shouting at the TV during the first half of this season of Crazy Ex. Let’s look back together at where each character has ended up in order to accurately prepare for episodes EIGHT AND NINE, both airing on Friday, January 6th 2017.
The Greg-Rebecca-Josh love triangle came to a screeching halt within the first few episodes. Josh dumped her after a (fake) pregnancy scare because he wasn’t ready for a commitment and because he’s a little bit of an ass; and Greg, after finally realizing he’s an alcoholic and some money advice from Papa Greg, decided to get his life together and go to Emory in Atlanta (#Grexit). He & Bunch had a beautiful tearful goodbye at the airport and then he was off.
On the friendship front, Becks set fire to her house while burning Josh & Greg stuff so she had to get a new one with Heather. She also spends a lot of time forcing Valencia to bond with her for female empowerment reasons but also because they both want someone to talk about Josh with. Rebecca is so busy being in a girl squad that she forgets about Paula – leading them to have a falling out that’s going to take a lot of time to fix.
Speaking of Paula;
She’s been through SO MUCH this half-season. After deciding to follow her dreams and go to law school, Paula found out she was pregnant from all the sex swing sex she and Scott were having. She was sure she had to have this baby and put her life on hold all over again but after taking over for Rebecca on a case and loving doing lawyer things, she & Scott did some real family planning and decided that it was best to have an abortion. The most heartbreaking part of all this is that she didn’t tell Rebecca about any of it until much later during their blowout fight. Paula did gain a cool new friend in law school though. She & Sunil wear matching friendship bracelets and everything, but by the midseason finale it’s clear she’s using him to fill a Rebecca shaped void in her heart. Honorable mention to the Disney-Princess type song Paula gets to sing, it is FABULOUS!
We reunite with her as she’s stuffing her face with donuts and being depressed about Josh. Rebecca literally kidnaps her and forces them to hang out, leading to the formation of the above-mentioned squad. She loses the pound she gained in this depression and does some sleuthing with Becks at the end of the half-season. Ultimately, after finding out Josh has a girlfriend he’s happy with, she leaves the girl empowerment stuff to get laid by some ugly rando.
Homegirl finally moves out of her parents house and gets to be the modern face of vaginal douches. Things are looking up for Heather. She’s the most normal person on the show and should be the little angel on everyone’s shoulder.
He left. I don’t want to talk about it
Bb had to move back in with his mom and he was single for a brutal 11 minutes before he met Anna (Brittany Snow) and like committed more to her than he had to Valencia in those 15 years.
White Josh & Darryl
These 2 are the light at the end of the dark tunnel. They had some incredible moments together, like when Josh was concerned Darryl thought of him as a boy-toy and didn’t take him seriously, or when Darryl thought J was only dating him because he’s into old guys. They always have honest conversations and work it out though. Josh now has a key to Darryl’s place AND HE MET MADISON!!!
Maya the intern finally stood up for herself and got Darryl to respect her more
Karen pretended to be a french woman named Angelique and tried to sell everyone sex toys
Parvesh Cheena’s Sunil is a lovely addition to the cast, playing well off of Paula’s crazy. Hopefully we get more insight into his backstory soon, his wife straight up killed herself so that can’t be easy.
Trent made a brief appearance with a 42 point plan to get Rebecca to fall in love with him but he abandoned it and just showed up when she was vulnerable and horny, so she did him just a little.
& lastly, Hector has an advice podcast with his mom and that is the most Hector thing I’ve ever heard.
Overall, Rebecca went from dating Josh to wanting to date Greg to filling that void with Heather and Valencia’s friendship that she tried to mould into a #squad while ignoring her real friend Paula. She thought she was making real progress in life but then the show pulled the rug out from under her and left her alone and vulnerable again.
It’ll be interesting to see where the rest of the season goes, the midseason premiere is said to introduce us to Scott Michael Foster’s character (I’m still not over his Chasing Life character so I might immediately love him and have clouded judgement). The backend will also bring back Rebecca’s mom AND A CAMEO FROM PATTI LUPONE! Honestly, what else could you need?!
Hey, remember to watch the show live or DVR it and bully your Neilson friends into doing the same. Livetweet during the show using #CrazyExGirlfriend and send pretzels and old musicals to CW HQ so they don’t cancel our magical unicorn. Jk on that last bit, but we need to make the fanbase extra-present.
I love you Bunches; see you soon