Never meet your heroes, Marie Calendar was a real bitch.

When Big Terry was just little Terry, he was insecure and friendless. He wrote a letter to his favorite author, DC Parlov, asking for advice. Parlov responded by mailing him a copy of his first book with a personalized inscription, part of which read “In this life, we write our own stories!” And that’s what happened; Little Terry wrote his own story. He got emotionally healthy–and buff! Flash forward approximately 30 years, Parlov is receiving death threats and Jake takes on the case for Terry’s sake. The only problem is, sometimes it’s better not to meet your heroes. After some research, Jake matches the handwriting in the death threat to the handwriting in Terry’s book. Does that mean that Parlov wrote his own death threat for publicity? No. It mean’s that Parlov didn’t actually write that inscription, an old assistant of his did. So Terry learns that maybe Parlov wasn’t so great a hero after all…according to Jake, though, it doesn’t matter. Terry turned into an amazing cop, friend, husband, and father; a real hero to Jake that he’s happy to know and admire. It also happens that Jake has pantsed every single one of his heroes…now including Terry.

Back at the precinct, Holt and Kevin were in a fight about some silly riddle, where he enlisted his children, ahem, I mean Amy and Rosa to support his side of the argument. While Amy worked to be a mediator in the fight between her dads, ahem, I mean, Holt and Kevin, Rosa just stated the obvious. Their work schedules clash–they haven’t been able to bone in a while (her words, not mine). And to be honest, I felt like Amy in this situation too: Rosa, don’t talk about the dads like that! OMG! She mentioned this to Holt who unleashed fiery rage on her and her lack of professionalism, but that seemed to be the first step in relieving that sexual tension. Problem solved. Way to go, Rosa.

Finally, Gina is slowly but surely molding into a Boyle. She spent the entire episode trying to convince the Boyle cousins it would be more fun to go to Aruba than Iowa for their family vacation. (true) The Boyle clan is a weird bunch, but honestly, so is Gina, so it’s really no surprise that by spending all this time trying to convince her “cousins” to pick her trip, she became a Boyle…something that Boyle mocked her with at the end of the episode! Sometimes I remember that these two were hooking up at the beginning of season two and get slightly uncomfortable. Oh, how these characters have developed.

Cold Open Bonus: Let’s all give Jake a round of applause for doing the FBP (sliding across the full bullpin).


Source: FOX Network // Brooklyn Nine Nine