Before I start this recap, I have some thoughts about Beyoncé’s Lemonade that I’d like to share.
Okay not really, maybe I’ll meet with Captain Holt to discuss that another time.
It’s Thanksgiving for the 99 and everyone’s going over to Amy’s. Like, even Terry, who has a wife and daughters. It makes no sense to me but whatever it’s in the script. Amy is on edge because her father is coming into town and he’s about 5 million times more uptight than she is, which makes Jake more uptight than he’s ever been. Jake made a binder…HE MADE A BINDER…to prepare for Mr. Santiago’s arrival. He learned such important facts as his favorite font, food, type of watch, etc. All important things to know when you’re trying to impress your girlfriend’s father. Too bad Mr. Santiago also had a binder on Jake, because of course he does, and he knows Jake is a loser with a credit score of 100, who’s forbidden to be within 500 feet of Taylor Swift. Needless to say, he doesn’t approve. This makes Jake pretty upset, which leads them to solve a cold case of Santiago’s. Jake’s hoping he can impress Santiago with his impressive detective skills, and it works, eventually, after a few missteps. He’s still not too keen on Jake, but both men realize it’s not really up to them at all. It’s up to Amy. They’re feminists. Nbd.
Back to the rest of the gang, Boyle (who also has a family…I’m so confused) is in charge of the Turkey and he’s decided to get a live one delivered to Amy’s house. This does not fly with Gina. She wants her turkey already dead at her house; as she says “because I don’t have to see it. That it’s called living in denial you moron,” and I feel the exact same way about my turkey tbh. Gina and Rosa hijack the turkey, name it Nikolaj, and forbid anyone from touching it. The problem is turkeys are mean and this one isn’t thankful that Gina and Rosa let him go. He just wants to chase them around the house and hurt them. It’s hilarious. This turkey chase scene will certainly be added to my list of “classic sitcom tv shenanigans”. But I’m still having a hard time understanding why none of these people are with their families.
Holt and Pimento were MIA during all of this. Why, you ask? Pimento was discharged from the NYPD for his erratic behavior, so Holt invested money in his Private Detective career. But, in a classic Pimento move, he bet all of the money on the dog show. You know, classic manly betting. After an effort to get his money back, Holt gives in to the dark side and the two go to a bar and watch the rest of the dog show (a hilarious scene). The good thing is they won, so the money wasn’t wasted! But what does this mean for Pimento now? Does he have a taste for betting? Also, is he a series regular now? Please!
Happy (American) Thanksgiving, everyone! I suggest you don’t order a live turkey.